My boyfriend of a year and a half is really passive, and doesn't do much in our relationship at all. He never phones me, or plans to do things. He's just happy following what other people want, and he hates taking decisions.
Of course, it means that we always do what i want. But that lack of reciprocity is really disturbing me, as phone conversations are also really difficult since he's not a very talkative person either (meaning i always have to lead the conversation and he barely answers).
I start to think that maybe we're just not right for each other, but we actually do love each other a lot. He's a really nice person, and we've got lots of things in common too, like our tastes in films, music, and lots of other things. Our temperaments are just really opposed.
Right now I really don't have a clue where we're going, as i often feel quite lonely in this relationship. He knows how i feel but nothing's changed. What should i do? Try something else or give up?
Please help me!!
2006-11-23 01:55:27 · 8 answers · asked by helen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The relationship just aint working sounds like. Give him an ultimatum either you make some moves on me and call me and take some initiative or it's over and I'm moving on. Yes you'll get the hurt of a breakup but you'll some day find a better guy who will actually "communicate" with you. Good luck with all that.
2006-11-23 02:00:31 · answer #1 · answered by dave_83501 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already seem to know the answer. He's not right for you, you obvioulsy need more passion in your relationships. If a man is passive then women will wonder if the man really loves them. This sounds to me like a good friendship rather than a lover. You mention that you have told him and nothing has changed so in my opinion you derserve more. You sound like a lovely person to have put up with this for so long! Remember that last sentence - you are a lovely person and only make sure you give yourself to someone who truly deserves you. Keep this man around as a friend he sounds great from that point of view but find a new boyfriend that shows he loves you by making the effort. Best of luck X
2006-11-23 10:07:55 · answer #2 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have learned that personalities are really important in a relationship. (I learned the hard way) Save yourself A LOT of heartache, energy, time, and over all well-being by doing some research on personalities especially compatibility between you and your bf. the last thing you are gonna have to think about is what you want in a man. Do you want a leader? Then he's not for you. Can you overlook his passiveness? Trust me, in marriage, little things get magnified, unlike when you are dating where they are overlooked. Dating is for finding the right person for you to marry and supposedly spend the rest of your life with. Take is seriously. If he's not or if you can't overlook things then move on.
2006-11-23 10:09:18 · answer #3 · answered by spanky1492 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me start by saying that your question was extremely well written and well rounded. It is perhaps the most intelligent question I have seen on this board in quite some time. You sound educated, well versed and head strong. If you can't stand passive people then you are in the wrong relationship. Sometimes the man has to stand up and point you in the right direction. Good luck as it sounds like you have an excellent head on your shoulders!
2006-11-23 10:02:38 · answer #4 · answered by troll_house_kookies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In any relationship whether romance, business, or social one must always consider whether the rewards are worth it (the pain, price, or burden). Sorry to say, you are the only one who can answer your question. There are things you might use as a guide. Such as, what exactly and in precise terms are you missing? I will tell you from long, long experience, that you are probably leaning on the wind if you expect your guy to "complete" you or to be your "all" and make heaven here on earth for you. No partner can do that. You have to be a complete person by yourself in order to be an upstanding and worthwhile partner in a two-way, giving and receiving relationship.
2006-11-23 10:15:03 · answer #5 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could try acting like him for a day and see how he likes it, this is what came to my mind first. but there are other things, you could end the relationship and start with someone new. stay friends with this guy though and see if he stays interested, if so, then see how the new relationship goes, if good, then you still have the first guy as a friend, if it goes bad you can always go back to him.
2006-11-23 10:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Threaten to break up w/ him if he doesnt try to change.
2006-11-23 10:00:50 · answer #7 · answered by Angie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
better tell more with your closed friends amd with you mum
==========================================================
If you are single and have the time, please visit my site:
http://www.**************/go3.php
2006-11-23 09:59:01 · answer #8 · answered by dana brown 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋