Im in a severe problem...Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 1/2 years, we argue now, and it hurts, we almost broke up a few times, and i like more that 2,000 miles from my family. He basically told me in a fight that If i can't be happier (I get upset and frustrated alot) and more interesting and stop being grumpy, then he will simply say goodbye and go find someone else, I am losing love for him, but I still love him with all my heart, and he tells me sorry and stuff after our fight and he tells me that we have to stop fighting and i have to just be happy or the relationship wont last, Im thinking leaving thoughts...Its killing me, I love him, I want things to go back to the way they were, But I HATE other girls..I hate that i just can't be happy or peppy like they are, which he likes, And im really hurting, Im jealous of other girls, HELP!!! AUGH THIS IS KILLING ME! I love him, but now im in a difficult position...he will leave me if i cant be happy...Please help me?
2006-11-23 01:50:51 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok, this is difficult because we cannot just turn our feelings on and off at will. it also sounds like he has issues too if he is also shouting at you. why not visit a cousellor of sorts if this is possible, or even ask a mutual friend if they would come round one day and observe the pair of you and then give you feedback in private to see where they think you are going wrong (if at all). in my personal opinion, and this is only going by what you have written above, it seems he likes to be controlling and maybe he has other issues going on.
2006-11-23 01:57:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some times leaving is the best thing for your relationship. It can put a new perspective on the whole life living situation. Usually once you have time apart you can see clearer where your hearts stand towards each other. I know it is a huge sacrifice to be made on your part, and he is your everything. Where you are so far away from home I can understand that he is your security right now too. Also how long has it been since you have seen your family, and friends? You claim you are 2000 miles away from home. Knowing how I felt being that far away from all that I was familiar with,"Yes" you tend to be miserable. I know that I was extremly miserable.Maybe discuss with your man about going for a trip to see your family. At the same time it will give you both a bit of breathing space rather than smothering each other, and your very tender relationship. Then you have the free rain to come back to him, and your relationship. Unless there are other issues? Like maybe you don't trust him enough to go? If that is a issue you shouldn't even be with him at all. the relationship will never work without a strong base of trust! I know this all first hand. I found out what I needed to know while I was away trainning for my carrier week after week. I am not saying that you won't be able to work out your diffrences with him. Only if you try my advise. To this day I got my carrier, and found out what my "Man" was all about reagarding the,"Trust". We have been sepearted for a year and 2 months now. It took me not being so depandant on him, to stand-up and be my own woman. Now I have a really wonderful life with a wonderful boyfriend that "I" am truly HAPPY with. We love each other to pieces. No there is no dependantcy what so ever on him from me, but oddles of trust, and guine love. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR DECISION> I do wish you the best!
2006-11-23 10:17:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should listen to your gut. Your not happy for a reason?Look into it a bit deeper, try take the love out if possible and take a look at why you are not happy. Its a difficult decision to make because you are in love.
Why are you jealous of other girls? If you trust him or love him as you say there should'nt be jealousy. If he was the 'one' you would feel complete and at ease. Also if he was trully in love would he not try help you with these issues rather then telling you he will hit the road????
2006-11-23 09:59:04 · answer #3 · answered by Zoe M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should figure out why you are unhappy. Perhaps you can go see a doctor or psychologist, they may prescribe anti-depressants, which really works, I promise.
You can counter act the jealousy by spending more time taking care of yourself, and doing things that will make you feel happy. I think step 1 is the psychologist.
Tell your boyfriend that you are making an effort to feel better, and that you need his support. If he decides to support you, he is worth the effort. However, if he still finds fault, send him to hell, because then he is not worth it.
Good luck, hope you feel better soon!
2006-11-23 09:59:13 · answer #4 · answered by krisi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like he like you just the way that you are. Why are u stressing the relationship by worrying about why you are not like the other girls? He chose you. You are only making things worse by being uptight and frustrated. YOU are whats causing the fights. dont you know how you feel affects everyone around you? Just be happy the way that you are.
2006-11-23 09:59:51 · answer #5 · answered by sweetre2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dear, i guess the problem here is due to insecurity on other gals. i suggest that since both of u love each other, just find a opportune and quiet time, sit down and talk to each other. sort out the problems, such as a/m and all other stuffs gently with the desire for the good of this relationship.
communications open up understanding and needs of each other.
cheers! i will pray 4u now.
2006-11-23 10:00:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like he's not the right guy. true you have to be happy and trusting but that is no way to tell you even though he said sorry after.
2006-11-23 09:56:27 · answer #7 · answered by trushka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if your not happy with him then maybe you will be w. out him. plus if your not happy w. him thats not love, so move back home
2006-11-23 09:54:18 · answer #8 · answered by ndn_202 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if hes the one then you shouldn't fight...don't waste time on someone thats not for you...move on
2006-11-23 09:55:18 · answer #9 · answered by b a b y : ) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋