what NOT to say to a copper...?

Answer 1

consternoon afterble.

Answer 2

If you are stopped by the police, it is really a case of YES SIR, NO SIR, THREE BAGS FULL SIR. One way you can win over a copper is to stand in the gutter when talking to him. This makes him feel big and you look small. In his shrunken brain, if he's got one, there will suddenly appear the message CHILD. He will know you are not a child but his brain will be telling him you are small and therefore must be a child and must be in serious need of protection. GO FOR IT!

Answer 3

As the officer asks if you know how fast you were going, reply "You know how fast I was going before I saw you?" Tried it, Ohio State Trooper, got a grin, Gave me 91 in a 55 ticket. Drat.

Answer 4

Respect is what the police need. They are only human and doing a job they choose to do like a nurse, doctor, fireman, they are all jobs! Power to the Police, I love em.

Answer 5

- Well, I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer!

- That uniform makes your butt look REALLY big!

- You're not gonna check the trunk...are you??

- Didn't I see you get your *** kicked on Cops?

- i swear to drunk occifer i'm not God.

- If I called you an a$$hole would I get arrested?

- Oh come on! The old lady should have looked both ways!

- Yeah, I've got an ID. It just ain't mine...

- "Your as fat as the Michellin man"

- I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket!?

- And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy!

- Hey! You must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!

- I thought you had to be in RELATIVELEY good physical condition to be a Police Officer.

- I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

- Bad Cop! No Donut!

- Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence!

- Wow! You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's
night stand...

- When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the camcorder!

- Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?

- Hey! I pay your salary!

- Those sirens are hurting my ears, turn them off or I'm not speaking to you!

- Gee, thanks officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

- Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so ONE of us does!

- I was trying to keep up with traffic...Yes, I know there is no other
car around, that's how far they are ahead of me!

- Sorry, I can't hear you over the radio. No, I am not turning it down! I love this song! Either speak up or just leave me alone!

- Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

- Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

- Aren't you the guy from the Village People??

- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

- Are You Andy or Barney?

- You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

- When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have
you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

- Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

- So, uh, you on the take, or what?

- What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

- Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

- Can you sing Y.M.C.A. for me? Please??

- Thats not a lot of pot, you should see what I have in the trunk

- You can't give me a ticket, I don't have a licence!

- Sure I'm naked! But at least I buckled up!

- I didn't know she was your daughter.

- "no officer thats not crack.. thats just 5 kilos of flour"

- The drugs in my rectum aren't mine

- C'mon. Its only 50 kilos of cocaine. Its not like its a body or anything

- This is about me and your wife, isn't it?

- I shouldn't have done the third keg stand before driving home

- "Hey, your hot...wanna come to my place and frisk me?"

- "I'm not drunk... I'm just mentally unstable"

- You make Barney Fife look like a real professional

- "But she said she was 18!!!!"

- Taze me!

Answer 6

i was watching worlds dumbest drivers one day and a male oficer pulled a female over because she was speeding and had an expired tag and whan he searched her car there was meth. so when he went to cuff her she was like, "is there any way we can settle this with sex sir" it was sooooo funny so yeah i would never say that to an officer and would not suggest any one else to

Answer 7

I love a man in uniform
especially with a big helmet
and a sizeable truncheon

if he doesn't arrest
you're in luck
make the most of it

Answer 8

'Can I s**t in your hat?'

According to Irish law this is a perfectly legal question. However, if you happen to p**s in a Garda's hat (Irish Copper) you can be arrested on the spot. Strange but true!!

Answer 9

Wait a minute man, my weed fell on the floor when I pulled over.
Oh here it us, under my gun...

Yeah, I'm too drunk to stand up. That's why I'm driving!

Sorry I puked on your shoes. Nothing personal.

Why aren't you out catching REAL criminals?

I pay your salary!

I know the (mayor, police chief, city councilman, governor, queen)!

My dad's a lawyer.

I'll bet you wouldn't be so brave without that (gun, badge, nightstick, whatever).

I can kick your ***.

Answer 10

Can I interest you in some cannabis?
Hold this knife while I get my ID.
I ALWAYS enter my house via the back kitchen window.
I couldn't put my car lights on , my electricity bill goes up.

Answer 11

goodsh evenoong occifer !whilst sitting at the wheel of your car! or WILL A 50 help to change your mind this once officer!