Helping A 5 year old adjust to a new school?

Question

My son started kindergarten in September and he is very shy. He had a very hard time the first few weeks, but by the end of the month he had started making friends, and actually started looking forward to going to school.

Then, we were told we had to change schools. My son started a new school two weeks ago, and he is having a really hard time. He doesn't want to make new friends, and when I ask him what names he has learned, he just starts talking about his friends from the old school.

The teacher said some days he does okay, but other days he will crawl under the table in the corner and jsut watch everyone. Last week, he spent an entire day sitting there playing with his jacket! I am not sure what I can do with him here at home, what I can say to him, etc to reassure him that this new school is okay, that he won't have to leave these new friends right away, etc.

I thought about going to school with him, but the teacher thought that might teach him that if he acts up, mommy stays.

I do understand that having tons of friends is not as important as academics - but when a kid is spending entire classes sitting under a table - academics are also at risk:) It's not about wanting my son to be popular at all - I just want him to be comfortable enough to have a positive learning experience:) Thanks for all the great ideas so far!

Answer 1

Make a 'Good things' scrap book. Help him write down good things that have happened at school and good things that are going to happen at school. Find out from the teacher who she thinks might be good for a play date. Volunteer to go and do a project. And remember that it takes time - I'm certainly not really settled into a new job for at least a month.

Answer 2

This is probably something that will just take time with him. As a child my family moved alot, and I think it does make children think there is no point in making friends, when you will just leave them. Make sure to keep telling him (if it's true) that you are in this home to stay, and the friends he makes will be there for a long time. I think it's a great idea to throw a party, but I would stick with the kids from the new school, otherwise they will be ignored for his friends he already has relationships with. Or just start by inviting one or two friends to come along while you do something fun with them. Help him start the friendships, and they should take off from there. He'll talk about old friends for a long time, and that's perfectly normal. Good luck.

Answer 3

I would ask the teacher if you can come in some afternoon just as a volunteer to help her out, tell your son you are gonna do that, bring in a huge plate of cookies, story books and offer a story and cookie time. Introduce yourself and your son, then offer the book to the kids to help them read some from it, maybe do a game of some sorts, guessing game with prizes, I would ask the teacher if I could do that, that would open the doors up a little more for him with the other kids. Talk to your son later about how he thought the day went with the story and stuff, then while it's fresh in their minds of the fun day and cookies, print out invitations for him to take to hand out or if you can get addresses to mail out for the kids in his class to come over for a little get to know me party.

Answer 4

I know it's hearbreaking when your kid doesn't make friends easy. some are shy some are just loners or just reservered. Thats ok. You need to quit makeing a big deel over it.he'll feel your insecurities how sad that will be. Let him see how you love his idividuality and focus on his academics. Being popular with other kids is not that important.

Answer 5

Time will help. The younger they are , the easier they heal. My daughter started a brand new school when she started 2nd grade, it took a few months to adjust.

Answer 6

I think your teacher is way off base on this one. I have a 4 yr. in pre k and a 6 yr. who just started grade 1 and we have always been encouraged by the teachers in kindergarten and pre k to spend time in the classroom with our children. it gives some familiarity to a sometimes shy child and will help this child adjust to it's surroundings.Our school has been voted as having the best pre k and kindergarten programs available in our city. I wholeheartedly agree with them and I am an employee of a community resources child protection agency. if this is not possible please don't lose too much sleep over it. your child will come around. children are amazingly adaptable and resiliant as I have learned over the years.if a child lives with criticism he learns to condemn, if a child lives with hostility he learns to fight, if a child lives with ridicule he learns to be shy, if a child lives with shame he learns to be guilty, if a child lives with tolerance he learns to be patient, if a child lives with encouragement he learns confidence, if a child lives with praise he learns to appreciate, if a child lives with fairness he learns justice, if a child lives with security he learns to have faith, if a child lives with approval he learns to like himself, if a child learns with acceptance and freindship he learns to have love with the world, best of luck with your child!, regards brooster.

Answer 7

have a small party ,and have him ivite some old and some from new(say 6 and 6)