help i am cutting?

Question

I am 13 and i have 3 LDS, autheritist, and a skin condistion that makes your skin scally and flakey but not dry (its not dandruff). I am doing musical theater, chourus, photography, golf, horse back riding, and karate, plus i have homework! My dad verbally abuses (no he dosnt hit me) me and sends me to my room crying every night. My grades are slipping. instead of getting mostly A's like i usually do i am now getting B's and C's. I am cutting as a result from all this stress, and having majore mood swings. I have not told my family this yet, but my teachers and mom is catching on and suspecting something. Also my friends are suspecting something is wrong too. One of my friends knows i am because she asked. I am cutting and scarred up, but i dont know how to tell my mom yet and i really want to stop.

i have tried many alternitives, i have even tried help lines!

i am not suicidal

Answer 1

If you can't talk to your mom, you need to find someone that you can trust. Abusing yourself is not going to solve any of your problems. You may be experiencing some anxiety and depression with trying to do everything. You need to be happy first then take it from there. I'm sure your parents love you and only want what's best for you. Please try and get some help as soon as possible. I will be praying for you sweetie.

Answer 2

I have to agree with everyone else. You need help but you also need to realize that you are not alone. Many young people have turned to cutting in order to deal with the stress, pressures, disappointments, and depression that life can bring. There are treatment programs available for this and other such disorders. Find an adult you can trust, hopefully your mom, a counselor or religious leader who can give you the help that you need.

However, I work with teens a lot, so I know that you most likely won't do this right away. Since you will probably try to deal with it for a while longer on your own, until it gets out of control, I will add my list of recommendations.

First, as others have said, find an activity or two that you can get rid of. While you may not want to let anyone down, "you" should be your first priority. Just explain that your grades are falling and life is stressful, but don't worry about it. You are first priority, not anyone or anything else.

Second, please understand that "you" are not the problem with your dad. He has problems and stresses of his own and unfortunately, is not handling them in an appropriate way. I know that this will be very difficult, but please try not to take personally, the mean things that he says about you. I know that it really hurts when it comes from someone who is supposed to love you, but you must remember that you are not the problem.

Finally, I am a religious person and I have faith in God. I believe that ultimately all healing comes through Jesus Christ. He has suffered all things so that we do not have to suffer alone. Perhaps you are not ready to tell your mom yet, but at least talk to God. Ask for strength to begin the healing process. Ask for strength to tell your mother. Ask for the courage to get the help that you need. You do not need to suffer through this alone.

If there is anything that I can do, contact me. Good luck.

Answer 3

First of all, stuff and think for a moment, why specifically are you cutting?

Next, unschedule SOMETHING.

I have got billions of things that I want to do, but you'll only be able to handle everything, after you've learnt to handle some.

It's like you're a pilot. Now, before you start to fly a passenger plane over the Atlantic ocean, start to practise with a two person plane.

Here is this one thing that I got from a really good book.

People spend their time doing one of four things:
1) Important Urgent things
Short term homework, solving any crisis
2) Important, but Not Urgent things
Building your relationship with friends and family, doing long-term projects, studying and reviewing school stuff,
3) Unimportant Urgent things
Answering the phone, watching TV,
4) Unimportant and Not Urgent things
Wasting time, goofing off, playing games


Now everyone needs to do SOME of everything.
Without fun, you won't be able to work, etc.

Now, very often people spend lots of their time solving urgent, important problems, which keep on coming up. The more you solve, the more that come. What most people miss, is that by doing Important, Un-Urgent things, you solve most problems before hand, before they can become big problems.
But, initially, to have to find time to work on doing the important, but not urgent things, which make your life way better.

To do that you need to lighten your load.

If you take a break off of something, then you will find time to do those important things that weren't urgent enough and you left off doing, for that reason.

Then, with everything running smothely, you will be able to cope with the full load you have on right now.


About the cutting, you should definitely tell SOMEONE.
Someone who you trust the most, your favorite cousin, your best friend, someone.
You should ALSO tell your mom, because only she can stop your dad from being too hard on you. Tell her not to tell your dad, and she'll be able to get the message across to your dad that he's being too hard on you, without him getting angrier over the fact that you are cutting.

This is a hard thing to do, but it is the best option you have.

You sound smart. What you need to do is to go somewhere that you focus best, and sit there and think deeply about your options, and the consequences of each. Try to find out which choice will help you the most. You're still 13, you don't want this to continue.

Don't leave it off, fix the problem now.

Good luck!!

I'm praying for you.

Answer 4

Oh, dear. You sound so much like my sister. She is 17, and has bipolar disorder, and was diagnosed with diabetes. You sound so smart, like her, and Im sure your physical conditions make you feel so alone in the world, and thats why you are in so many activities, to find people to fit in with. You must feel so different!
If your mom is more understanding than your dad, you need to tell her right away. If you are scared to talk to her alone, go to a school counselor and tell them the truth. They will either call your mother, or have her come down in person for a conference. Your counselor can recommend therapists, support groups and doctors who can help you to learn skills for coping with stress and manage your moods.
Good luck to you

Answer 5

Find when this started, look over what changed around that time and try to change it back. New "friends" (not so helpful ones).

And start working on doing things you really like to do, become good at them, put a purpose and work to achieve it. Work hard to achieve it.

Don't start doing medication it will make you worse on the long run. Hope I could help.

Answer 6

ok heres what i did
if you dont know how or cant tell your mom and you want help which i can kinda tell you do get a friend or if you think you can do it yourself to tell a guidance counselor at the school if your friend wont and you cant tell either then write a letter to the guidance counselor and give it to them and just walk away after you do that if you dont want to talk to them right then after the guidance counselor reads the letter they will probaly call you into the quidance office to talk to them one on one. there really nice about everything and dont judge im sure you and the quidance conselor will find a way for you to get help i know that what im telling you to do can be REALLY HARD TO DO but im 13 too my friend just told the guidance counselor on last friday. im sure you'll be happier if you do that
good luck :)
DO NOT LISTEN TO george k!

Answer 7

You need help!You are screaming out for help! The cutting is a sign that you WANT this problem resolved and NOW! Tell your Mum,and if you don`t have any success there,see your Doctor! Don`t go on like this for another minute! You may need councilling and if so,do it!Your Doctor knows how to help you and you must be very honest with him/her! Get onto it immediately and get some relief for yourself. It is`nt something to let go on, so act now!

Answer 8

Talk to a counselor at school or a teacher you trust.

You need help. Your Mom and Dad need to get you some help.

You can call Child Protective services on you Father and they will come investigate.

Answer 9

its never easy to stop! in my opinion you need to search for alternatives. this is information i read some where else they suggested you try things like a stress ball or maybe cutting something else like fruit just anything to avoid physically cutting your self.

Its not easy to stop i know a few ppl that do and i have once or twice my self. otherwise try searching for help and advice by asking ppl you trust, doctors, or maybe phoning a helpline most country's have them :).

take care sorry if my answer isn't that help full.

Answer 10

THE ONE PERSON YOU CAN TRUST MOST IN THE WORLD IS YOUR MOTHER !!! Go to her IMMEDIATELY and seek her help. Let her know that you want to stop doing it and that you know it's wrong. You seriously need some psychiatric help because you are showing very clear signs of clinical depression. Please try to stop cutting yourself right now. I know it's hard, but the longer you do it, the more addicted to it you will become. GO TO YOUR MOTHER RIGHT NOW - DO NOT WAIT ANOTHER MINUTE!!!!!!!