Help! What do I do to stop my husband from putting himself in a wheelchair?

Question

Idiot is 64 but thinks he's about 18. Has recently been climbing 20ft ladders to cut down conifers (on neighbours' demand). We are also attempting to fit an new environmentally friendly wood burning stove. Keeping this short, and sparing you the boring details, he has done his back in but refuses to go to see a doctor. I have found a local osteopath but doubt he'll go. Even threats about possible wheelchair use seem not to deter him although pain is now starting to influence him. Advice please asap. Thanks.

Thanks for all advice to date. Sorry if any of you have misunderstood my motives. I only want my husband to survive with the best possible future. What I wanted is direct advice to him to TAKE MORE CARE! Osteo today was charming but not that full of absolutely positive suggestions other than "Sit on a chair with a straight back. and thank you for the fee."

Answer 1

At 64 he should know better than to attempt anything beyond his capability

That said there is no better ego deflater that realising you ARE getting older and can no longer do the same things you did when you were much younger

Now that said I also feel that you should not let age get you. I mean within reasonable parameters you should continue to do as much as you possibly can but maybe a little slower

I'm 55 next year and will continue to ride my Harley hopefully for many years to come and again hopefully well beyond 64. In a couple of years I will ride the Route 66 and not let age stand in my way for as long as possible

If this puts me in a bracket of "silly old duffer" then so be it

Encourage him a bit and help him where you can and you will both enjoy staying young. Don't get past it before your time and prolong it as long as you possible can

Once you are at the "Pearly Gates" you can't ask for a second shot. This is your only life and "zooooom" it's gone in a flash. No rehearsal on this one

Enjoy and good luck even with a little caution

Answer 2

The chances of him going into a wheelchair because of a bad back is very slim. He probably knows this so it's no threat to him. Being 64 alone is no reason for him not to climb ladders, it's his general state of health and fitness that is the main concern. I'm sure if he'd done serious damage, he would have seen the doctor. If you are so concerned, why don't you ask a member of your family to help fit the stove or cut the trees?

Answer 3

Is he a football fan? Try telling him that Manchester United have an osteopath based in Wilmslow (footballers wives country) on their payroll and I slipped a disc and was treated by the same man and was back at work on the following Monday but if an enterprise such as MUFC in which results/performance are all can trust their players worth many millions to this type of therapy what does he think makes him so special! Show him this.

Answer 4

Well I know this is not what you want to hear, but I think you should just let him get on with it. If he feels 18 then that is great - the best antidote to aging. OK so he might make his back problem worse but the mental benefits from this sense of freedom will do him a world of good. And this reflects back into his physical health.

Have you ever climbed trees in your life? If not then how can you make a judgement as to whether what he is doing is dangerous. Very often what seems dangerous from the ground feels safe from the air.

Answer 5

Bmac is spot on with a great answer.

OK let the old fool slug it out with simple analgesics, treat him as though he does not have a back problem and when he complains tell him you are taking him to the Dr. and no argument. Pour him into the car and ignore the complaints.

Answer 6

Well, threats NEVER work. He's a big boy. When the pain gets bad enough, he'll go. Offer him some aspirin, a heating pad and to rub it. If he declines all 3....then tell him to enjoy his backache, but you don't want to hear anything about it until he goes to the doctor.

Answer 7

Are there any other men around that you could tell who could talk him into going? Guys are often reluctant to get medical help because they think they can "tough it out", or that having to see a DR. is a sign of weakness. A guy who has been through something recently might be able to make him see reason.

Answer 8

I was nearly dieing in a few times and I still didn't go to a doctor now I look back and gone the misery wouldn't have lasted as long.

Answer 9

i think of he only apologizes superbly so u circulate on. i do no longer think of u are happy with your self if u have been u would not enable any comments that come from everyone even your husband impression u. i be attentive to it hurts because of the fact u love this individual yet the two he only would not care how this impacts u are only is being a jerk. i do no longer think of it is your marriage in any respect or him only being to truthful. i myself think of u could attempt talking to him lower back and tell him this time to pay attention u out and that his apologizing does no longer mean a element when you consider that he turns precise back around and does it interior the subsequent minute or sentence. tell him out of your heart how this makes u experience and that he needs to end. He needs to place his self on your footwear and ask his self Why could he choose for to criticize the only that he loves? wish this facilitates.

Answer 10

Well being that he doesn't seem to be paying you any attention being that you are concern for him, He will eventually learn and there is nothing you will be able to do to stop this from happening, Just hope you are with him should anything bad happens. And I hope it does not but MEN are so HARD HEADED and Stubborn. They want listen until it is to late.