I love my girlfriend so much. But on a night out recently I got ridiculously drunk and snogged another girl. I'm absolutely disgusted with myself. How could I jeopardise my relationship with my dream girl? We're such a good couple. Thing is though, I'm completely being overtaken by my concsience. I daren't tell her because I know it would kill her and she might dump me. But she's such a special girl and doesn't deserve to be lied to. Should I be honest with her and just hope she loves me enough to forgive me or keep quiet because what she doesn't know can't hurt her?
2006-11-19 23:44:43 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't tell her and let your shame prevent you from ever doing it again. If you tell her you will risk the whole relationship.
2006-11-19 23:46:53 · answer #1 · answered by Jon O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh this is a tough one. Only you will know exactly what is best for you and for her...but my advice is
If this is the only time it has ever happened, and you are certain you can be faithful in the future, do not tell her.
I believe good people do bad things sometimes. Cheating is NEVER okay, but there is a big difference between the person who genuinelly messed up, and the person who does it all the time because its "fun" and has no real remorse.
AGAIN, if this has only happened once and you know you will never ever put yourself OR her in this situation again, pray on it, and then let it go. You obviously do love her and i believe it will only serve to hurt her, and unburden your own guilt...which isn't fair to her. Find a way to cope with the guilt within yourself...remind yourself of how d*mn lucky you are to have this girl... :)
From this day forward, cherish her...treat her as she deserves to be treated, and let the past lay where it is. I wish you much luck...and make sure you don't get that drunk without her from now on silly boy :)
2006-11-19 23:54:14 · answer #2 · answered by Shakira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why burden her with this? She's happy - you don't want her to worry unneccessarily about whether or not she can trust you. She's not the one to confess to, if you must confess it to someone.
Don't tell her. It's your guilt talking. Just put it in the past, resolve not to let it happen again, and forget about it. At least you didn't take it further! If she finds out about it, come clean - you'd been drinking, felt awful about it afterwards, it meant nothing; which was why you didn't bother mentioning it, and you're determined that it won't happen again.
You say that if she found out, it would 'kill' her and she might dump you. Do you really think so? It's not that much of a crime.
Maybe you're unsure of how she feels about you? You deserve her. You say she's special - well, for worrying about this, so are you. You sound like a lovely boyfriend. xxx
2006-11-20 00:01:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok - two ways of looking at it.
you could tell her - you owe her that much - but personally would write it in a letter - cos if you say the words "i snogged someone else" she aint gonna let you explain you were drunk and that you deeply regret it and wont ever do it again - she will prob just sling you out and will be crushed.
you could not tell her - but this is only a safe bet if you know NO ONE will EVER tell her - cos if she finds out from someone else - thats about a million times worse.!
If you love her - you have to do the best thing by her - not you - you screwed up - if she dumps you then thats only down to you. But if she does dump you - then you can spend the next few months trying to win her back and let the trust re-build.?
2006-11-20 00:57:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, most people dont like to hear this, but theres a damn good chance, statisticly, if you havent cheated, that your partner has. Monogamy is seriously going out of fashion.....doesnt mean you dont love some one, just because you give in to animal passion hehe. And you only snogged her, its not like you're risking giving your gf an sti. Dont tell her dude, thats stupid. She wont appreciate your honesty. You'll give her trust issues that will stay with her for life. Most relationships rely on "sanctity" which are invisible lines we agree not to cross. From what you say, sounds like you've crossed one. Bad boy. Get over it. You never know how thin the lines are, or when they'll snap altogether.
2006-11-19 23:53:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, im just gonna put myself in her shoes here for a second. To be honest i'd not tell her even though i find what you have done was cruel but if you do tell her, and if i was her then i'd probably want to hurt u back and go and do then same....therefore, relationship over. You already sound like you have learned from it so what you did you will probably not do again. I just hope ur guilt wont show it 'cos she might twig on. Pray no one else tells her in the future but if u feel this might happen then its prob best u tell her yourself. Every relationship starts with trust but once its gone its hard to get it back so think carefully while making your decision.
2006-11-20 00:07:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you loved her as much as you say you do then you have to tell her. it might break her heart yes, but explain to her that you love her and the snog between u and this other girl didnt mean anything ( even if it did a little).
she may want to walk away from you if you tell her but give her some time and she will come round if she loves you but you have to show to he that you love her and that you are truly sorry for what you have done.
if you dont tell her it will play on your mind more than what it already is.
you love this girl so much and i know that by the way you talked about her, to put your mind at rest tell her.
the worst that could happen is that she will need some time to her self, believe me i went throught the same situation not long ago and me and my boyfriend are like you n your gilrfriend, he kissed my best mate he told me after 2 weeks and i walked away but 2 days later i came to my senses and relised i loved him.
promise her that it WILL never happen agin because you love her too much to lose her.
good luck with it mate, and you are not a bad guy for dooing it you were just drunk.
xxxxx
2006-11-19 23:53:40 · answer #7 · answered by samantha j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, "what we don't know can't hurt us" is a good philosophy! As much as I regret saying this (I hate guys who cheat!!) I would in this instance keep quiet about it, so as not to HURT your g/f (don't give a continental how you feel!). Hopefully, you will live with the guilt for a very long time, therefore NEVER doing it again. You silly bugger! Was a snog really worth maybe losing the girl of your dreams!! You better just hope no-one who knows your girlfriend saw you! Live with that you moron.
2006-11-19 23:58:38 · answer #8 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
a) dont be such a tw@t - people do daft things when they are drunk. be thankful you snogged someone rather than did something stupid whiile under the influence.
b) you dont have to tell everything
c) if a simple drunken snog is going to ruin things, you two havent got much of a future anyway
2006-11-19 23:50:34 · answer #9 · answered by Vinni and beer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
***********************************************************************
If there is any, any chance that she might find out about it you will have to do "emergency repair' mate and try to save your dream.
Snoggin under the influence of alcohol can get you in trouble & make you a daddy or a murderer...
...driving under the influence will get you killed. Understand the difference's mate.
Now then, yerv done it this time avn't you!?
In the relationship you have now do you chase after her or her chase you?
If you chase her then get ready for a heartbreaker.
If the other way then...
Tell her and say it'll never happen again. Realize she's chasing you, so act like it......... but with love.
Dont be a Dope... Think Before You Drink
2006-11-20 00:01:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry but whatever you do be a man about it and do not blame it on drink...its an excuse and a lame one at that...it shows nothing but what a weak nature you have...drunk or not.anyone can get plastered but i for one have never ended up inexplicably on my back through drink....im not going to judge you on the 'snog' only you know how badly that could affect you and your relationship with your girlfriend...personally i dont see the big deal but everyone is different...good luck...;0.
2006-11-19 23:57:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋