Mums Dog has died?

Question

My mums dog had to be put down on friday, she was 13, riddled with tumors and in pain, how have you coped with the lose of a pet, we cried for days and we still are!

dhopni, how can you stop thinking about something that has been with you for 13 years, thats like saying dont think about your dad/mum after they died!

I dont live with my mum and do have 2 dogs of my own but somehow i feel a little lost and guilty by how I feel.

Answer 1

its like loosing a member of the family and it will take time hunni

Answer 2

I am so sorry to hear about your mums dog. My mums dog died when he was nearly 17, it was between Christmas and New Year about 10yrs ago. Even though I didn't live at home anymore I went to bed and cried for 2 days because I was so upset. As people are saying it is like loosing a family member. For a long time afterwards I still found it hard to talk about him without getting upset.
It doesn't matter what your pet be it a dog, cat or small furry thing - we still get emotionally attached - some more than others. I find it strange that people have a cold detachment and shrug it off and say it was only a dog. To me my dogs are my best friends and there is nothing better than coming home after a crappy day at the office and being greeting at the door by wagging tails who are pleased to see you regardless.
You and your mum have my heartfelt sympathy at this hard time, and it will probably take you a long time to get over it. Grieve as much as you need as one day even though it still hurts like hell you will be able to say her name without getting upset and smile about her but for now the pain is too raw.
I wish you all the best and give your mum a big hug from me.

Answer 3

I've had to put my dog down 2 months ago, it was a very difficult time for me and my family. Of course I still miss him, he was the best dog I've ever had, but he was one of my two dogs, so I just try to spend that extra time, attention and love on my remaining dog and cherish her as much as I can.

I know that people saying to just get another dog, sounds insensitive, but the truth is, it works. When I lost a dog because of a car accident about 5 years ago, I grieved for months, then I adopted a dog and even though it still hurt, I now had to stay focused on being a good caretaker to my new pet, to teach him and love him. Once you loose a dear friend like this, your life will feel empty until you get another one, you'll still grieve, but it will be easier.

When I lost that dog 5 years ago, I didn't want to hear about getting another one. It sounded like I would be betraying the memory of my dog and trying to replace someone who is absolutely irreplaceable. And if someone is thinking about getting another dog because they are all alike, and one can replace another, then they really should be ashamed. A dog's life is very valuable and unique, you can't just swap it for another. But if you consider that you and your family have enjoyed a companionship of a wonderful dog and that now you will have to start a new relationship with a new friend, which will be completely different from your old dog, but still a good experience for the family, then it will work.

I've got to tell you, we've grieved HARD for about 3 months before we've decided to rescue a dog, we still grieved afterwards, but the new dog has truly healed our hearts, including my mom's, who took the loss very very hard. I think that what helped also was that we adopted a dog. It's one thing to get a puppy, that has not had a care in the world. It's another to save another dog's life, a dog who's known hardship and has shared some of the same pains that you may be going through.

You obviously loved your dog very much and so did your mom. You are a gift to dogs out there, still you probably feel at times that you could have done something, maybe consulted a doctor earlier, etc. When you adopt a dog, you know you've just saved a life, and whatever responsibility, no matter how unfounded, you may feel for the loss of your dog, you will feel that you have maid right. You've had to let one dog go, but now you are allowing another one to live.

So, think about it, don't rush and don't think of it as a fix to stop the pain. Just think about all the times you've enjoyed with your dog and how it would be great to start a new relationship with another wonderful creature, and at the same time rescue a dog from death.

Please e-mail me if you have any questions, I feel for you.

Both of my adopted dogs I found through www.petfinder.org

Just start browsing, once the grief has settled a little bit and you'll find a great new companion.

Answer 4

Hi, i am sorry to hear about the loss of your pet. Last week my dog died and 4 weeks earlier she had 5 puppies. I was so devastated and had to take time off work as i was so upset and couldn't stop crying. What you have to think about is that she will no longer be in pain and her body has been layed to rest. I had my dog cremated and i am now waiting to receive her ashes back so i can spread them in my back garden with a cross, this is so i will never forget and so the pups can visit mums grave. Due to losing my dog i am now keeping 3 pups myself and my mum is having 2. You will start to feel better as i did, but also i have the pups to think about and how to take care of them. They are doing fine and have now started on puppy food mashed with milk. If you need to talk please do not hesistae to email me and i will provide all the help that i can.

Answer 5

My parents dog was put down about 2 years ago. After a period of crying and not really wanting to go and see my parents, it does ease.

However, I was talking to a friend last month whose parents never had cats or dogs, because they didn't want trauma when they die etc. She was saying that it is not worth the pain. I described how great my dog was, the lovely bits of having a dog (great listener etc), and then how painful it was when he died. next minute, my eyes were full of tears!!!


At least your mums dog isn't still in pain. Its not fair to keep an animal suffering, because the owner doesn't want the grief. Remember the funny bits, the cute bits, the happy bits - and be glad he was part of your family.

Answer 6

I know exactly how you feel. It's just like losing a member of your family.

And of course many people don't understand this and think you're a bit mad for being upset. You don't get people saying how sorry they are and being extra nice to you like when a person dies.

As with any other loss, you need to feel whatever it is you are feeling - grief, anger, guilt and so on. The pain will lessen as time goes on.

It's only been a few days. You will get over this. Just give it time.

I've got my wee dog sitting beside me, and I've started to cry now, thinking that one day I'll lose him

Please accept my sympathy for your loss. I 'll be thinking about you. All the best.

Answer 7

What you are going through is normal; it's called "grief" or "grieving".

Family pets are exactly that: a family member. The longer you've had one, the harder it is when you come to part company.

Soon, you will get over the sadness, and be able to look back at the dog's life with fond memories. If you can try and encourage yourself to think like this, then the greiving process will be quicker.

One last thing: at times like these, it's all to easy to make yourself cry and make yourself feel sad, and sometimes if you are feeling a little better, you might feel guilt at not feeling sad, so you make yourself sad and cry again. Try not to do this.

Answer 8

Hi I just lost my Lhasa this past may and it is hard they are like family. You will always get those feelings of loss when you sit and think about them. I still do also. I have my babies remains here with me and I also have a picture of him with the poem Rainbows Bridge on it. I got it on the net and he will always be with me. I also have 3 other babies that are my family but you have to think about all the good times you had with (him or her) . You will get those days but remember her baby is in a better place and if you read the poem you will understand that everyone will meet again. Bless you and and your mom as I feel for you . Time will soften the pain you'll see.

Answer 9

Im sorry to hear about your lost. I just lost my boxer Maxine 11-07-2006. She also had a tumor. We had he scheduled to be put to sleep at 2;45 that day and we took her out side for her last time at 1:30 and she died in my arms. it was so sad. But she knew that i didnt want to put her to sleep so she did what had to be done. But you have to remeber just because there gone doesnt mean that their still not sitting beside you and fallowing you around. What helped me out is i go to her grave as much as possible and just sit and talk to her. my boxer was like a kid to me i have had her for about 13-14 yrs. i hated to see her go but i know it would be the best thing for her. I will always love my dog and there isnt another dog on this earth that could ever replace her.

This is for my baby gurl Maxine. Mom misses you baby girl. You'll always be with me everywhere i go, Dont forget ill always love you ....... RIP 11-07-2006

Answer 10

Mum has to cry and mourn, just like she would for a human. Be there for her, listen to her, don't rush her grieving process, everybody has their own time. Encourage her to talk about the happy times, the funny little things she and her dog did. But the main thing is to be there, don't try to replace the dog to soon!. Best of Luck and I am truly sorry for your Mum's lost.

Answer 11

Your mum has done the right thing, with putting the dog to sleep, but our pets are like our family and it takes time to grieve. It does get easier over time, but it is very hard at the begining.

Could you try and make a photo album with your mum or as a present for her just filled with photos of her dog. I did this with mine. Sending lots of love to you all at this sad time. x