Last Friday,I went for a rountine annual checkup and the doc hv detected a tumor but could not confirm if its cancer once further tests are completed.I m scared that if its cancer, should i tell my wife? i'm the sole breadwinner of the family of two kids.I 'm very sure she will not be able to handle the news if confirmed.I m extremely confused and depressed.What can I do or how to tell my wife? What will happen to my kids ?
2006-11-19 22:26:03 · 10 answers · asked by chasen54 5 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
First, your wife deserves to know and she might surprise you in how well she takes it. Women are stronger than many think they are. My bet is that she'll be a comfort to you.
I had cancer a little more than 30 years ago. It isn't a death sentence in many cases. Keep a good attitude and fight. There's every reason to believe you have a chance to win.
Best wishes
2006-11-19 22:36:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it was me, i would tell my partner and only my partner until we knew for sure what is/was going on. This way, your partner doesn't feel betrayed or anything should anything come of it; and if there is nothing seriously wrong, you won't have worried everyone else. There are several different types of tumors. Not all are cancerous and many can be cured with treatment. I know it is very very difficult to hear the words tumor or cancer - trust me, been there, done that. However, i also found it is no use in getting yourself upset until you know for sure what it is. Then discuss treatment options. I know it is a lot easier said then done, but the first time i heard i may have cancer, i drove myself crazy wondering and thinking and everything. Turned out to be a pre-cancerous growth. The second time, when it occurred in a different place, i decided to just wait and see and try to live as normal of a life as possible. Glad i made that decision b/c it took FOUR months to diagnose and it ended up being something else, but still a medical problem.
I know how you are feeling and i hope you get good news.
2006-11-20 12:36:17 · answer #2 · answered by Weasel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Dr. needs to do a biopsy on the tumor and send it to a lab for analysis. If it the test results come back positive, meaning that it's a malignant tumor, than you do have cancer and further treatment is necessary. If the test result come back negative, meanin that it's a benign tumor, you will also posibly need a minor surgical procedure to remove any additional portion of the tumor that may have been missed when it was removed to be sent to the lab for testing. Either way, your wife should be informed at the earliest possible convenience of your situation whichever it is. She is your wife and deserves to know everything about your physical well being in order for her to prepare herself emotionally for any outcome. Of course it will scare her because she loves you. Your kids don't need to know anything unless the tests come back positive. During chemotherapy and radiation therapy, you will undergo physical changes that will be hard for anyone not to notice such as loss of body hair and nausea. Your kids will notice that. The way you inform your children of your illness will depend on the ages of your children.
Your family is there for a reason. To support you and love you in your time of need just like you would be there for them. Remember, because you are married with children, your desease is their desease and you should battle this thing together. God Bless and good luck.
2006-11-20 06:48:39 · answer #3 · answered by JayJay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, tell your wife...get help, get support. Cancer is not necessarily a death sentence, yet it seems that is what you are feeling. I was diagnosed with cancer in August, 2005, have been through 4 surgeries and chemo in the last year, and although it hasn't been easy, it is my life now. Your wife and kids can be a tremendous source of support, hope, and motivation ( I know my husband and 2 sons are to me!). Please, do not automatically think the worst, cancer is treatable, in some cases curable, your life is not over, it is simply entering a new and different chapter. Talk to your doctor, get answers, then talk to someone you trust, go to your clergyman, they generally are very helpful. Please get all the facts before you run through the worst case scenario, things may not be as bad as they feel at first. God bless you!
2006-11-20 14:37:06 · answer #4 · answered by Andrea B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear friend,
Please tell your wife as only a mth ago I was giving the news I had cancer and I am the olny money earner in my family with three children and no partener.
I was angry then depressed but when i got the guts to tell my daughter it was a huge load taking of my shoulders.
She goes with me to my appointments and helps me with my medication and searches the net to find any thing on my type of cancer.
if it wasnt for my children i think i wouldnt be here today.
as they are who i look at and think i have to fight this,if not for me but for them..
just think you havent been confirmed postive yet and depending were your tumor is you will need some support around you why the waiting begins for the results to come in.
your wife is alot stronger than i am sure you give her credit for..
take the chance and please tell her..
then you can begin to heal and insted of being alone you got the chance to do it as a couple..
she loves you, i am sure and if your relationship is strong then the 2 of you will get through this together.
and your burden wont be as bad as it is now to carry it when you can easly share it.
give your wife the benfit of the doubt...she is alot stronger than you think..
2006-11-20 06:35:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At the first I'm sorry for you and hope it will be a safe one, and also most of the people who have cancer get of it.
maybe you should tell her after the next test when you are sure it yes or not, and don't tell your kids
good luck
2006-11-20 06:31:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have a tumor in my chest two and dont no if its cancerous yet but you cant let it get you down cus thats what tumors feed off of if you think bad it will get bad your guna be ok we can help each other threw it if you want email me it feels good to no your not the only one going threw it so you should tell people and seak help god bless
2006-11-20 08:39:57 · answer #7 · answered by kanyez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what i am going to write its easy to say & difficult to feel. but u should not be scared of this, face this situation,
first u conform that do u have cancer or not?
i wish u should not so, i am not suggesting what should u do after that?
i wish God help u in ur difficulty.
Pray him from the bottom of ur heart.
he will listen to u & solve everything. trust me.
Bye ...
take care...
dont take tantion.
God bless u.
2006-11-20 06:33:43 · answer #8 · answered by Jeny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hope the news are good but if not please tell her you never know how she will handle it till you dont tell her!..You owe her that ..you are together...and you should fight it together! dont worry more for your kids now as you have to worry about yourself for once!..
Try a Nutritional Therapy even if its not a cancer as we are what we eat! for more info check
www.patickholford.com
and fight the cancer....never leave it with no fight!
and if you dont tell her now she will get to know sooner or later and they youll be in trouble....why you did not tell her...you can not hide...she better be prepared from the beggining!
2006-11-20 15:46:14 · answer #9 · answered by trendafilka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for the results before you get hysterical.
There's a chance you might not have cancer
If you do find out you have cancer, god bless!
2006-11-20 06:28:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋