Should I allow him to have a once-a-week sexual relationship with another woman?

Question

He gave me an ultimatum: Start sleeping with me or I'm gonna look for sex somewhere else.The thing is, he has been willing to have sex and keeps pushing me to do it and I'm simply horrified by my idea.I've never had intercourse.
Stupid,stupid me.The thought of him being with another woman never even occurred to me.He's 34,I'm 18.We've been dating for 6 months.
I don’t want to lose him

Answer 1

This may be hard to hear but he is too old for you.
Stick to your guns and don't let anyone force you into sex until you're ready.
Not only let him sleep with others, push him right out the door to do it!!

Answer 2

Trust me honey .Lose him. First of all, at 34 he has definately gotten a headstart. I don't want to be stereotypical but most of these older men that go looking for younger girls.. (and not all but most) just want that thrill.. You are 18, you should definately wait, and tell him if he respected you enough and loved you enough he would consider your feelings and wait with you. I've been going out with my boyfriend now for 8 months, and he's known since the get-go that I' have set my offical over the hill date to twelve months and one day. I'm not afraid to admit that because I can tell you I had a boyfriend who when I was 19 and after being pressured into sex non-stop gave in, two weeks later he tells me he has another girlfriend who called to say she is having his baby..so it was bye-bye for me. What did that equal a broken heart and a watsed special moment you can only have once.
If you were my little sister I would tell you the very same thing, and I don't think I've ever answered a question on here with such a degree of severity.
A relationship doesn't require sex to be 'real' or 'true'. He's thinging about his pleasure which is selfish and disgusting.
We females are strong headed and smart.. go with your gut instinct and keep your head on your shoulders..don't feel intimidated by his ultimatum..if he's willing to cheat on you or go have sex with some other women, which could lead to you getting a disease that will make you miserable, then he isn't worth your time anyway and should be dismissed.!!
**Once it's gone you can never get it back** Good luck!!

Answer 3

Ok, first off, thats way too big of an age gap. You might not see it now, but he's taking advantage of you. He's been through all the things you have and knows how to relate to most of the things you're going through; he can work things to his advantage.

You, however, have a whole 16 years of catching up to do; you haven't even come close to knowing all that he knows, seeing all that he's seen, and experiencing life as he has.

Second: Hell no. If you let him sleep with someone else, thats just an excuse for him to cheat; yet another way he can take advantage of you.

If you're not ready for sex and he can't get past it, screw him. It shows what he's really after in a relationship. This would be the same answer even if he was the same age as you.

Answer 4

If a man loves you he won't give you ultimatums or threaten the security of your relationship. If he was a decent man he would respect your feelings and tell you he doesn't t care how long it takes and would not want you to have sex until you feel comfortable and ready. There are a lot of woman who still insist on waiting until they are married to engage in sex. If that’s what you want don't let anyone coheres you into doing what you don't want to do.
Sweetie, I know it is hard when your heart is involved, women are naturally more sensitive. I am an old grandma, and I have had a lot of relationship with men, some good, some bad. So, I'm going to give you advice as if you are my granddaughter. I have to tell you, it sounds like to me this man is disrespecting you and disregarding your feelings. Don't let anyone mistreat or disrespect you. If someone does not treat you right, get away from them. I'm not talking about a normal, once in a while lovers spat or disagreement. I'm talking about a consistent pattern of disappointment and disrespect. One thing I am concerned about is this guy is almost twice your age Sometimes older men go for younger women because they know young women are inexperienced and easier to manipulate. Also, they are incapable of having a relationship with a woman their own age. It sounds like he is playing with your head and emotions. I sense this is not the only issue troubling you about this relationship. You don't have to listen to me. Do you have an older woman friend you can confide in? Or can you go to a counselor? There are help lines you can call, with counselors who can listen to you and help you figure out what you really want to do. One in my area is called the Warm Line, it is sponsored by the State Department of Health and Mental Hygiene.You might be able to call your states Health Department for a simular service. You don't have to give your real name if you don't want to. I use it when I need another woman to talk to and I can't get a hold of a friend. The most reliable person to listen to is your inner voice. Deep down inside your soul you know what is right. Get in touch with your inner self. You just have to ask the questions and your answers will come. Pray to God; ask for your angels to be sent to you. Some people say when you get messages from God or your Angels they come as thoughts, and you’re not sure where the thought came from. You don't hear voices you just know. Because, woman are so sensitive, they are naturally very intuitive. I believe this intuitiveness and sensitivity are gifts God has given women. Use your womanly intuition, practice using it regularly, it will get stronger the more you use it and trust it. If you are sincere and honest to yourself, you will know when you get the right answers. Finally, after you accept the answers trust them and act on them. When you do the right thing you will feel good about it. When you do the wrong thing you will feel bad.

Answer 5

You should not allow him to do sex with you. He is 34 and you are 18. The age difference is much. He is not a good man. He is simply trying to grind his own axe. But think, after all you are a female and one day you will have to do sex. Sex is not bad. It is natural inclination in both sexes. if you do not like to have sex with this aged man, leave him. and have some other relationship with other guy who should be of your age. I mean 25 or 28. But not more than that. You do not give him permission to sleep with him. You are virgin and have it protected.

Answer 6

If you are not ready....do not let him or anyone else pressure you into sex. The fact that he is 34 and you are 18 makes me very worried....but the fact that he gave you an ultimatum is worse....This does not look like a relationship that is going to go the long haul.....Open your eyes and close your heart...because he is going to break it....and no you should not support him having a sexual relationship outside of your relationship...but he probably already is anyway...Good luck

Answer 7

Actually you need lose him. If he loves you he will wait. Not pressure you into doing something you want to wait on. Don't give in. Your first time should be special and memorable not regretful. Nobody should be given an ultimatum like that. And he is too old for you. Tell him that you want to wait until marriage and watch for his reaction. By the looks of it he only wants to use you. You are worth more than that. Find somebody that will love you and respect your wishes. Good luck, God Bless.

Answer 8

I wouldnt do it, if u are not ready for it, dont do it hun and u are only 18 so many guys will cross ur way! It might hurt when he leaves u but if he rally loves u he'll give u all the time in the world and wouldnt push you. dont let him go and have sex with someone else, after wards it will never be the same again and u just be hurt even more! good luck hun dont do anything stupid

Answer 9

Wow, what a big one this is....

Well, your 'of age', but I'm not suggesting you do anything you don't feel comfortable with, but he is human too, and has his needs also. And I'm sure over the last six months you have considered this at some point....If you want a platonic friend, that is what you can have, but you will lose 'what you have', most likely.

So if you really need 'just a friend', go out and find one, this guy wants something more.

But if you want to keep him, you are likely going to have to 'give in' sometime soon, which I believe you will then think, 'what was I worrying about all this time'...

You might even enjoy it.

Age-gap is of 'some' concern too....

Peace out...

Answer 10

in case you're to stay together with her the two she or the different fellow could discover a clean job someplace else for beneficial. seems she is an consumer-friendly mark for everyone which will pay interest to her, some females on no account initiate up issues yet look to circulate alongside if somebody else does and a few are very submissive which you are going to have performed a hand in becoming. the standard venture right it extremely is the youngsters, the long term nicely-being of each of you and your spouse and your funds. Is she battling to maintain the marriage going? do you choose for to stay together with her? the youngsters are those being taken hostage right here in all this. It sounds out of your information offered that she extremely needs to maintain the marriage going. that does no longer mean that next time she is approached she might have the skill to stand up to so there is very a great number of paintings to be executed at the same time by utilising the two considered one of you. you will on no account locate yet another mom on your infants and you will on no account no longer ought to handle her in case you divorce through marriages grandkids kinfolk events, funds and so on she will have the flexibility to be a great area of your existence for some years besides so whats the wear and tear in attempting to paintings it out? i think of you may the two be extremely truthful and do an exceedingly great deal of talking related to the destiny and easily adequate related to the previous to place it at the back of you. you are able to sail into the destiny dragging yesterdays anchor. I wish you success and could guess which you do make it at the same time

Answer 11

To answer your question, "Hell No!" You might as well just end it now and save yourself the future heartbreak. If he gets it from someone else your relationship will never be the same. I don't want you to do anything your not ready for, but letting him sleep with someone else certainly won't protect your relationship. I hope this helps. If you trust him things should be fine once you decide to have intercourse. If you don't trust him on that level, maybe he is not the right guy for you. Well, I hope you figure it out...good luck.