My girlfriend and I have been going out for 9 and half months, and I would never have guess she was a virgin. She is such a beautiful girl on the inside and out. I mean she's gorgeous!!!!! She is 24 years old and wants to have sex; but every time we get close to have sex she freaks out! The last time I went down on her for the first time, and everything was going fine until she was on the brink of an orgasm, and sobbing, no, over, and over again. I hold her in my arms every time she starts to cry and tell her everything’s going to be okay. I've tried several times to get her to have an orgasm, but nothing works. I thought that maybe she was raped or something like that but she assured me that’s not the case, and that she gets a little frighten when she about to have an orgasm. I want her to be ready before we have intercourse for the first time but I a man and I need to get laid!!!! Don’t get me wrong I love her very much, and care about how she feels, but how can I help her over come her fear?
2006-11-19 21:43:57 · 19 answers · asked by campkiwago 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like she's afraid of letting go and/or losing control, which is very common. Is she happy to have sex without orgasm? If so, just concentrate on giving her pleasure and don't worry about whether or not she comes. Tell your girlfriend you would obviously like her to have an orgasm but you want it to happen naturally for her, so you will take the pressure off and it it happens for her, great, if not, no big deal. She's probably feeling anxious about orgasm and this will make her less likely to reach it, so if you make it clear the pressure is off then this will ease her mind. For someone to orgasm they need ot be relaxed and at ease. Does she masturbate? I know it's a sensitive subject to approach but you could ask her if she manages to achieve orgasm by herself. If she does, then it's a letting go thing and this can easily be sorted out once she feels ready to let go during sex.
If the whole sex thing is making her uncomfortable, suggest to her that you just focus on cuddling and petting for now, with no sex. Once she feels the pressure is off she might well find she feels more relaxed about sex and able to orgasm.
Stay with it, you're obviously a supportive guy and it's only natural you miss sex but it will be worth it once you're girlfriend relaxed and starts to trust you enough to let go. If nothing I've said works, perhaps your girlfriend might benefit from a sex therapist as there might be deeper issues that are stopping her from letting go. Good luck!
2006-11-19 22:11:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why worry abt orgasm just yet. Ask her if she is ready for intercourse and while you two are enjoying urself, let her experience an orgasm on her own. If she doesnt get one, she will still be excited and pleased. That shud put her fears to rest. However if she is not ready for intercourse, then you need to talk to her seriously abt this. She may have some reliigious or psychological issues but this is an important thing and must be dealt with, though very sensitively.
2006-11-19 21:51:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must be an irrational thought which is buggin your girl friend more than anything else, which needs to be gouched out. It could range from the fear of getting pregnant to a very catholic desire to remain virgin untill she gets married.
You need to talk things over. Maybe, you should use the finger technique for starters and once she gets on, may be a nice licking will cool her off. But, most importantly, identify the irrational behaviour.
2006-11-19 21:49:13 · answer #3 · answered by Blue Boy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to explore herself alone for a while... take time to masturbate and learn her body.. then she will feel more comfortable reaching orgasm with you. I had this issue with a virgin that I had dated. She and I had a lot of fun fooling around without the orgasm. Don't take offense or feel like less of a man... just enjoy the intimacy of the act and don't push her.
2006-11-20 16:19:49 · answer #4 · answered by Zloar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As Dr. Drew would say, something is going on up there. She must have experienced some sort of trauma.
You're a good person for being so supportive and willing to work it out with her. But you're also human, and hopefully she understands that as well.
As to your specific question, there's really not much else you can do than to make her as comfortable about it as possible. On her end, perhaps she needs to talk to a professional.
2006-11-19 21:46:37 · answer #5 · answered by IceTrojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Dear James,
This is very good that you are worried about her satisfaction .
In sex there are two things
1. Fore play
2. Intercourse.
Woman can enjoy fore play maximum if you/she knows her G-Spots.By stimulating the G-spots she gets the maximum enjoyment. Which helps her to get Orgasm in intercourse.
During the intercourse generally man care for his orgasm (Ejaculation) which give negative feeling to woman. Ideal thing is she should get orgasm same time when you are getting which will give maximum satisfaction to both of you.
Feel Free to contact for details
Enjoy Life
2006-11-19 21:48:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her the pleasures of orgasm and make her feel for it. Have some good books on sex and prepare her mentally for entercourse.
2006-11-19 21:49:51 · answer #7 · answered by thinkpose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love her you would understand .. give her some time she will come by herself askin you for it . love isnt about sex so dont make it such a big idea
2006-11-19 21:48:38 · answer #8 · answered by mimi ^____^ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If shes still a virgin, have sex with her then, give her an orgasm.
2006-11-19 21:47:21 · answer #9 · answered by Dr Dee 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Try watchin an R-rated movie with her right before, it'll get her excited and she would wanna go for it
2006-11-19 21:49:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋