Specifically, increasing frequency and variety - i don't want to put extra pressure on him, or blame him, but am not happy with the frequency and variety of our love making. In part, I am afraid that it is because he isn't attracted to me. What is the best way to bring up this discussion ?
2006-11-19 21:35:18 · 17 answers · asked by tessabella1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look - I must admit that all of those answers have crossed my mind - however, he is still physically affectionate - holds my hand, touches me, hugs me, kisses me, cuddles and "spoons" me in bed - and tells me that he loves me, that he loves me more than anything in his life, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me - etc. We spoke about it two nights ago - in response to my question of wether he found me attaractive - he told me that he loves me more than he has ever loved anyone - which didn't directly answer my question !! Should I pursue it - or should I just let it drop ??
2006-11-23 16:19:49 · update #1
No need to bring up any discussion .... you take the lead .... dress sexily and be more demanding in what you want .... YOU be the one to try new positions .... if he doesn't get turned on at least a little ... he's probably dead (oh wait ... that's me) LOL
I hope you work things out :)
Good Luck
2006-11-19 21:39:18 · answer #1 · answered by deadkelly_1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be straight up with him about how you feel. One of the most important things to keep a strong and long lasting marriage is COMMUNICATION!!!!!!!!!!
Alot of people in relationships that have been going on for years is they get so wrapped up in trying to work, spend time with the kids, and make room for their partner, it can get quite overwhelming. And if your day is extremely busy than the alone time you and your partner need gets put on the back burner until tomorow. Tehen tomorow turns into a week, then a month, then several months go by and neither one of you knows your partner any more.
So the best advise I can give is to make time to have a talk about your feelings and no matter what he has to say listen don't criticise, Men will automatically shut down if they think you are criticising the way they feel. Alot of the times Men don't tell you how they feel they'll just tell you what they want. Remember Women are alot more emotional than men when it comes to relationships, So tell him how you feel and then listen to his reaction.
2006-11-20 09:17:59 · answer #2 · answered by mtap4life 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please, for your sake, do not talk libido while in the perameters of the bedroom. Keep it out of the bedroom! Make some quality time outside of the bedroom, and just simply discuss it with your husband. Tell him need more sex. The good kind, not the oops I am done stuff, tell him yor needs, but keep it out of the bedroom. Believe me, he has no idea what he is doing wrong, keep the conversation light, and suggest that you both try something new tonight.
2006-11-20 06:35:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him there has been something bothering you. Then just be honest, you don't have to be brutal, just honest about your needs. Two things will destroy a relationship money problems and sex problems. Nothing gets fixed if you do not say anything. He isn't psychic. You will have to tell him for him to know or try to fix the problem.
2006-11-20 06:26:15 · answer #4 · answered by TexanBrat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit with your partner. Tell him/her that you have an important point to discuss which affects both your relationship and the life ahead. Tell your partner your preferences. Also ask your partner's preferences. Decide mutually to pursue all common things and work amicably to settle all uncommon points. Belive me it works well
2006-11-20 05:45:49 · answer #5 · answered by a_anshuman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to talk with him about it. don't just criticize give him specifics about what u want and what u need. try telling him this when u are not before or after so he doesn't feel any pressure. ask him if there are any ways to heighten his pleasure too. he may feel the same way u do.
2006-11-20 05:41:59 · answer #6 · answered by skylinbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
relate ur problem 2 ur bf, as two other people r facing it..
c hw he reacts n ask him a solution. im sure, he l get som idea abt wht ur talkg n he l too think abt HIS reaction towards u..
afterall u cant directly tel him anythg of this sort ryt? sex is not evthg..
so slowly n calmly turn it towards ur side n tel him wht u feel abt him in bed.. recollection of past love makg procedures too wil help.. good luck
2006-11-20 07:35:56 · answer #7 · answered by sunflower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One quiet evening just say to him that you want to talk about sex, and start by saying that you need more and a bit more fun in the bedroom, i am sure it will keep you both talking for at least 5 minutes.
2006-11-20 05:39:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
IF it is because he is not attracted to you then that's that. Ask him-tell him that's how it makes you feel. Tell him he's just not there 100%..Simple
IF HE ASKS ALL STUPID ABOUT IT-
cut off his supply COMPLETLY... =)
2006-11-20 05:51:00 · answer #9 · answered by BuRn Di WiSdOm WeEd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before you go to bed (without having sex) talk to him about it , its simple believe me he might also got the same problem . i had the same problem and i talked to him about it we both became happy in the end ;)
2006-11-20 05:45:56 · answer #10 · answered by mimi ^____^ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋