IS it ok to buy condoms for my 14 year old son ?

Question

OK here is the thing he is 14 and though we have taught him well and he is very respectful and continues to tell us that even though he and his girlfriend are close they are not ready for sex, I feel it might be important to have them on hand. I pretty much work with all men and was not afraid one day to ask them what age they were. Then again some may just be shooting off at the mouth but most said 14 or 15. As I said we are raising our kids with the knowledge they can come to us with anything even if they think they are ready to go that step. that most of what we want is honesty and they have both promised us they would. So I need this advice as to what to do.

Answer 1

Yes, I did for mine and guess what, he never used them. I fought with my own Mother over this and I told her that I would rather him be protected than stick my head in the sand.

Answer 2

That's a really difficult question. You feel like buying him condoms is the same thing as giving him permission to have sex. I suppose in a way you would be. It's embarrassing for a 14 year old boy to talk about this with his mother. No matter how open the relationship. He may never use the ones you buy just so you wont know he did it. You can get them at most dollar stores. He might buy some without you knowing. Kids are very savoy these days. You're 100% right though. In todays times, he's going to experiment. Kids these days know WAY more than I did when I was in school. They grow up faster now. But even way back when, at age 14, there were plenty of guys who were having sex. Unfortunetly I wasn't one of them. =(
I hate to say this. Buy the kid condoms.
.

Answer 3

Just purchase some and leave them where he knows he has access to them when needed. These days it is a very smart health precaution. Allot of guys do manage to have sex by 15, it's not just all talk. When my older daughters were about that age I not only insured they could get the pill if needed but kept a large pack of condoms on a shelf in the bathroom just in case. Although they never started vanishing until they were 16, I simply would replace the box. I actually think sometimes they provided some to friends who wanted some which is also a plus.

Answer 4

I think it's a great idea to provide him with protection. It sounds like you have a good relationship with him where these issues are easily discussed. He also sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders, understanding that he is not ready yet. The day will come, sooner or later, and it is better for him to be prepared than not. Being open about this topic with him will help him understand that you want him to wait, and that you're not giving him condoms so he can have sex, it's only for when he is ready. It's not encouraging sex, it's encouraging responsibility.

Answer 5

That's a tough question. Just about every case I've heard of where a girl is put on birth control or a boy given condoms "just in case" it opens the door. It's almost like giving permission when they are probably too young emotionally for sex. I think the kids may be too embarassed to really talk to you when the time comes regardless of what they say. Can they get condoms from a local clinic so parents aren't so actively involved in that step of his life? It reminds me of how a child wants privacy in the bathroom once they are potty trained. Did your parents participate in your first sexual experience?

Answer 6

Hey, I'm and 9 weeks pregnant not fun oops, my mans a paramedic as well, he wants me to abort and it's upsetting so yeah I get your worries. However don't give him a condom if he's been to school he knows about them and risks of sex. If parents give kids condoms their like ick and won't use them. If he's going to go out and have sex embarrasses him a little make sure he knows all the risks, and tell him if god forbid he knocks some little chica up, he's gonna have to be a man, and a lot of states require notifications of parents before abortions.

Answer 7

Sounds like you have an open relationship with your son ....so buy him the condoms to be safe but at the same time explain to him that you feel he is too young to have sex.....explain to him that not only are you trying to make him aware of the danger of having sex...we all right away assume a guy when we think unsafe unhealthy sex but the fact is that guys can get exposed by women too........so keep him aware safe and well informed!!!!
If they are going to go the distance they will anyway so at least he won't be taking a chance on becomming a teenage father.

Answer 8

Don't listen to any idiot who says that buying condoms for your kid is the same as encouraging them to have sex. They are the same morons who say that children should not even be educated (and indeed, lied to about) birth control because informing them would be encouraging them. If you were 12 and your parents bought you a helmet and knee/elbow pads for your rollerblades, would you then feel comfortable rollerblading down the stairs?

I think you should just buy the condoms, make sure he knows how to use them right (you might want to have his father or a male relative he likes discuss this with him, he might feel uncomfortable talking about it with a woman), and let them know where they are if he needs them. No one can make decisions about sex for him. The only thing you can do as a parent is make sure that he is well-informed.

Answer 9

I think that is a good idea. You never know. However, your son has told you that they are not ready, maybe you should tell him that when he thinks they are ready to let you know and then you can get them for them then. Also, think about it from the other side....would you want your daughter to have sex at the age of 14??

Answer 10

No.

Honesty is a great thing and I applaud you for saying that. Encouraging early sexual intimacy is not a great thing. In the US the age of consent is 16 which means most people think that 16 is old enough to understand the implications of sex. 14 is a little under that cutoff.

Have you considered that buying them for him might feel like pressuring him to have sex?

Have you considered what would happen if the condom fails---as it sometimes does with younger users???

Is he (and are you) prepared to deal with pregnancy? an STD? Outraged parents of girlfriend who are angry you bought condoms?

As for guys who say they started at 14-15....if every guy had every sexual encounter he claimed high school girls would be too tired to go to school.

Answer 11

Your son already answered you, he said "No, he is not ready for sex" . Show him that you respect him and his desision and do not buy him the condoms at this time. At that time some boys are not thinking of sex but they do have constant peer pressure. If you buy him condoms he will also feel you too are pressureing him to start expierimenting with sex. How about if he wants to have sex when he is married to only one wife. Let him date if he is ready to date and in time he will let you know.