My father is extremely smart, talented, hard working, good looking, very propper and polite, and I look up to him in so many ways. However, I struggle on a daily basis with the idea that my family and I just go through the motions of coming home from school/work, eat dinner together (usually), and then go our separatae ways, and yet we (myself and my mom) can't address the fact that his drinking affects our relationship with him.
Now by no means am seeking sympathy or searching for statements of how "things could be worse", I am just looking for ideas or expereinces about how you can tell a loved one that when he comes home everyday form work and drinks until he can't remember what we talked about the next morning, IT IS EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING and it is harmful to our relationship.
Has anyone experienced this dilema? Have any good advice??
2006-11-19 19:50:56 · 10 answers · asked by Runner Girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My father was an extremely intelligent, hard working man as well as a great provider... Unfortunately, he was also an alcoholic who drank himself to sleep every night (except for the two or three times he went on "the wagon" for four or five days) My father would not listen to his wife or eight children's pleas to give up the alcohol and evidently did not or refused to see the damage he was doing to his family. He was in my eyes (then and now) the most selfish human being on earth, as his need to escape reality outweighed the emotional needs of the nine most important people in his life,,, We, like you, all had our dinner together, then we shared in cleaning up the dishes & so forth , and when we were done with that... we all went our seperate ways, more often than not, to our rooms..
Without going into detail, I will tell you that the emotional scars that were left upon every one of his children were far reaching and long lasting... I have to tell you that as children, my brothers & sisters & myself did not have to want for anything material... Dad taught us how to work for those things... The thing we all wanted most however, we never were able to obtain... My father died alone four years ago, never giving up his drinking.....
My advice to you and your mom, print this & give it to your dad while he is sober. Perhaps it will be enough to break the ice (so to speak) and you all can get some help. I wish you all the best.
2006-11-19 20:46:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to an Al-Anon meeting and to an AA meeting to get the help you need. Yahoo answers is too limited a place for this and AA will help you the best! Don't wait another day-there are many meetings everywhere!
2006-11-19 20:14:54 · answer #2 · answered by ontheroadagainwithoutyou 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truth is the best instrument you have at your disposal. Use it. Prayer always helps if you truly believe in God.
Set up an intervention and have everyone there that is affected by his alcoholism. Quit being the victim and get him to see what he really is...a drunk who does not love his family like he should. Honesty is harsh but it is better than living a lie. That only hurts you and your family.
2006-11-19 20:00:01 · answer #3 · answered by D.A. S 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've gone through that. It took my dad to lose all of his children for him to actually realize he was doing something wrong. I am the only one that came back to give him another chance. He still drinks but not excessively or until he passes out. It is hard to believe but one way doesn't work for everyone, you have to figure out who your dad is and his personality and the best time to do it is when he is not drinking or drunk, try while he is sober. I wish you the best of luck !!!
2006-11-19 23:56:26 · answer #4 · answered by Kat A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Big time drunk (still a drunk, but sober 3 years October). He already knows. Depending on how much of a wall he will put up, catch him clear headed and sober, careful with the delivery and good luck. Functioning drunks are more apt to argue, but trust me, he knows. The booze is evil my dear, very evil.
2006-11-19 19:59:32 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Know 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was EXACTLY where you are now as a teenager and wish we had not waited until I was 25 to get help for my father. Do call AA. They can help you and your family to conduct an intervention. It can change your lives - and his.
2006-11-19 20:02:07 · answer #6 · answered by outdone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bombard him with facts about how it is destroying HIS health...
Lots of documentation from the local hospital.
Contact AA.
Complain incessantly.
Try to get him out and doing other things.
Explain that is could harm his career / employment.
2006-11-19 19:57:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
intervention
but only if you can get the rest of the family on board.
2006-11-19 19:53:17 · answer #8 · answered by Jon H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to talk to him...when he\'s awake..
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2006-11-19 19:53:16 · answer #9 · answered by c g 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋