Ok.. I am exploding with passion, love and just want to experience life and everything it has to offer to the fullest! Only, I want to do this with my boyfriend. We've been dating a little over 2 yrs and he's in Criminal Justice in Lethbridge. Longterm is hard! I love him with all my heart and want to spend my life with him.. I'm ready to get engaged. I don't think he's at the same stage as I am. I know we're young (20 yrs) but being engaged doesn't mean we have to get married asap.. I just want someone to be with, watch movies with, learn to cook with, get a place.. Start Life! I'm not sure if I should wait for him ..? Or move on and find someone else who is more on my level?? Someone who is ready and wants the same as I do..
2006-11-19 19:20:01 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also.. he has a hard time talking about his feelings and expressing himself. I try to get him to open up but it's so hard and rarely it goes no where. His answer is "there is definate potential and to take things step at a time".. I would rather be reassured and not invest all my time and devotion into a relationship that might go no where?! haha I'm soo frustrated!
2006-11-19 19:30:54 · update #1
"I dont think hes at the same stage as I am"
Thats the problem. .... THINK
The answer is Communication.
How about asking him.
Criminal Justice can be a difficult course and he may simply be blinded to your hints. Sit down with him and ask him. Tell him what you are looking for. He may simply have not seen your hints. Nothing wrong with that. Men function best in a relationship when they are told what is expected and they can work towards that goal.
I would hate for you to break up with someone you have been with for over 2 years simply because you failed to make your desire known. How do you know he wouldnt like the same thing.
It sounds to me like you want to wait for him, you are just looking for a commitment. Why not tell him that.
"Honey we have been together for a couple years and I love you. But I want more of a commitment than we currently have. I know you are probably not ready to get married, but I want to know where our relationship is going. I dont know if you already have an answer or not, but Id like you to spend some time and think about it. I am really not into dateing just for the sake of dating. Im willing to wait for us to be married, I just want something from you that says thats what is going to happen.
Remember some guys are great, but you still have to break it down.
Good luck and email me if you need/want more advice.
2006-11-19 19:37:04 · answer #1 · answered by Texas Tiger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communicate your feelings. You need to know whether or not he wants the same thing as well. It may or may not be too big of a commitment for him. That is the only thing you can do at this point. Tell him that you just want that security of a love, and marriage would probably be down the road, but not any time soon. Saying that would scare him a lot less. Once you communicate that, you should know your answer on whether or not you should wait for him or find some one else.
2006-11-19 19:25:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you may be ready, but if he isn't you are going to have to except that. Everything that you listed as your wants why do you have to be engaged again to have them? We aren't in the 60's anymore why not move in with him? Many couples do this now a days before getting engaged to see if they can stand living with one another. I understand too that you may think getting engaged doesn't mean the wedding is asap, but that doesn't make the pressure go away. It is a big commitment, and some people rush to soon. I commend anyone who takes there time with the divorce rate still on the rise I believe it shows character to be sure. However if your ready, who says he has to propose? You can just as easily do it! It's not un-heard of now a days for a woman to ask the man to marry her. It used to be considered a taboo, but that has changed. So if your ready why can't you do it? Put's things in perspective doesn't it?
2006-11-19 19:35:48 · answer #3 · answered by foxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be upset with his lack of communication...
You say you have spent 2 years with him... so my question is: what percent of those 2 years feel like the fullfilling relationship you were looking for? and what percent feels like the relationship was going nowhere?
Whatever amount of time you felt like the relationship was everything you wanted it to be should be the number one factor in your decision of rather or not you should move on...if only about half the time of those two years were full of happiness you can expect somewhere around the same in the future...
You alone should make the ultimate choice of moving on to new things or not. Not your boyfriend, parents, or friends
Once you know what you want your future to be like sit down and communicate this to your boyfriend and ask him if he is capable of being a part of it.
2006-11-19 20:16:14 · answer #4 · answered by Kevin M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him again how you are feeling and what it is that you want. Tell him that you really want something solid and committed and ask him if that is what he wants right now. It sounds like you two are definitely at different stages, and though it will hurt, I really do think you should let him go and find someone who is ready for the level of commitment that you are-and also is more accessible than someone in a facility. good luck!
2006-11-19 20:30:34 · answer #5 · answered by rxtech05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bottom line is you do not deserve him..you seem to be too pushy and want things in a "Right Now" pace in a world that is rarely at that pace. If you just want to get engaged to be engaged, you have no concept of the true meaning of commitment. After all, 2 years may seem like a long time, but it isn't.....
2006-11-19 19:34:58 · answer #6 · answered by porter_666 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is married with his job. ALL WOMEN DESERVE TO BE LOVED AND TO BE HAPPY. But happiness doesn´t start with a lover or boyfriend, it begins with self esteem, you have been patient and caring with him but you should take care of your feelings and goals, you have the last word: to keep waiting for an uncertain engagement or to give you the chance to be happy, first with yourself, and then looking for the right guy. WHEN YOU SHOW REAL CONFIDENCE AND LOVE IN YOURSELF, IT WILL BE AN ATRACTIVE MAGNET TO THE RIGHT MAN. GOOD LUCK. BYE.
2006-11-19 19:29:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on and find a new life.
2006-11-19 19:23:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on. if he puts his job first you always come in .2. to this matter in my opion/
2006-11-19 19:24:57 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a loser... You want all that, and all he wants to do is be a criminal???
Move on, darling!!!
2006-11-19 19:23:28 · answer #10 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋