Here is the situation, I'll be brief. I haven't spoken to my father since I was 13, going on 16 years. My father was a physically and verbally abusive to me during my childhood. I'm now 29 and I don't know what to do...
I am stuggling financially, but my father's side of the family is wealthy. My grandmother made a fortune in oil and my father has made a few millions himself. I know if I reunite with my dad my financial worries would be gone. My brother still keeps in touch with him and he tells me that my Dad always asks about me, misses me. I am torn and I don't know what to do. Do I continue to not talk to my father and be written out my father's will and lose an inheritance in the millions (I am not in my grandmother's will and my brother informed me I am not in my father's will as well). Or do I try to establish some sort of relationship so I can have access to that enormous fortune?
2006-11-19 18:49:17 · 11 answers · asked by amadeus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
extra details:
my father was very cruel
the amount of money involved is about 75 million
2006-11-19 18:59:37 · update #1
Only if you can handle it and its worth it to you. Just dont expose your children to any abuse.
2006-11-19 18:51:15 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask youself. What is important.? Do you want to get to know your father again after so long cause you love him and want to see if he is sorry for the way he treated you so many years ago.
Or do you just want to get back into his life cause he has money.?
If the money is the only reason you want back into his life what kind of person does that make you.?
If you are not in your fathers will and/or your grandfather will now how do you know you will be put into it once you are around him again.? I would think if he wanted you in it and your brother say he ask about you all the time you would already be in it.
2006-11-20 02:54:33 · answer #2 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I can tell you is to forgive him for the things that he has done to you it might take a very long while to but try to take away all that anger that you have inside from his abuse. I can't say that I know what Physical abuse is like but I can say that I know what verbal abuse is and it doesn't feel good inside. It is something that makes you feel lower than dirt and helpless. You even sometimes feel suicidal but you have to try to see that you aren't the fault. I was once baby sat at a time by my aunt and her husband and he use to tell me how ugly I was as well as stupid and I was crazy but this crazy, studpid girl grew up to be better than his own children I have a masters degree when his kids bearly made it through college. Hey forgive but don't forget. Go on make up and be all nice to him and get what you deserve for all the mean things that he has done to you, you deserve everything that he owns so make him feel nice again and make him put you in his will. As well you should try to really be friends with hin because you only gonna have a daddy once in your life.
2006-11-20 04:02:32 · answer #3 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
money should not be the motivation of making amends. Though he abused you, he is still your father. Hes not like a boyfriend who come a dime a dozen. you only have one. maybe expressing the pain you experienced from the abuse would help. You're grown now....let the past be the past, it's time to invest in a future with ur dad, it might be rewarding....good luck
2006-11-20 03:21:02 · answer #4 · answered by bgsfnstldy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know what to tell you. I mean my father left when I was born. Then 15 yrs. later he decides he wants to be apart of my life. I find it in my heart to forgive him and give him another chance . Then again my father was never abusive. Sorry. Good luck.
2006-11-20 12:32:06 · answer #5 · answered by Missi899 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just have lunch with him sometime. Maybe now that your older You'll both be different people. Don't do it for the money. Do it because you've got to forgive people at some point in your life or it will eat you up. It sounds like your dad wants forgiveness for the past,and maybe you can both heal.
2006-11-20 02:54:27 · answer #6 · answered by Roy Munson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if all you wont to reunite with your Dad is to get a millions and have no more financial worries would be over honey that the wrong you sure wont to reunite with your Dad and grandmother because you love than and not for the money
2006-11-20 03:02:04 · answer #7 · answered by EVA J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the words of the Asheville, NC author Thomas Wolf(e), "you can't go home again." Don't go begging and don't expect anything.
When I left home from an abusive father, when I returned to see my mother, my father lit into me again physically.
2006-11-22 17:41:46 · answer #8 · answered by Polyhistor 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money just does not give answers, just heartache. If your dad does not change his ways, do not little yourself by bowing down to him just to get money. My children have children and will not allow their father to see them. They are nine and four. I raised my children with no help. It was tough and the children and I went without. Many nights I cried after the children went to bed because I couldn't give them their needs. Today they are glad they learned the importance in life.
2006-11-20 02:58:51 · answer #9 · answered by grannywinkie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just think that if you didnt at least get to know him, and your father passes away, you are really going to regret not making amends with him.
2006-11-20 02:52:04 · answer #10 · answered by ~carmie~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ease into it slowly but tell him UP FRONT..if you start your abuse/putting me down etc. I will leave..and then do it. Tell him if he does it around your kids, you are leaving and he won't see them again. Having money is good but if you are going to have to put up with CRAP...it's not worth the money.. TRUST ME
2006-11-20 02:57:10 · answer #11 · answered by chilover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋