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we live with our in laws. My husband dont want to get seperate from her parents. Many times in different ways i told him that i want our seperate indenpendent house, but always his answer was in negative only. so please me in convincing him.

2006-11-19 18:44:46 · 17 answers · asked by Nandini 1 in Family & Relationships Family

We got married 4 months before n from the next day of marriage my mother in law started abusing me. First she started telling me that the my dressing style is not just bcoz most of dresses are chuddidar n she dont like chuddidar. After that she said that Punjabi dressess top shud not be too long, it doesnt look gud. But in fact my all dresses are very decent n sobar. She also dont like the way i tie hairs. I take my little hairs n put clip on it n let rest of the hair untie. But she always pressurized me to make pony ,which i dont like bcoz really it doesnt suit me. Since my husband is not that much heighted, i stopped wearing hilled sandals or chappals. In fact my hubby dont have any problem in wearing my hilled chappals. bui stopped taking hilled chappals but again a new problem arose that i shud not wear chappals. U know y just bcoz my way of walking is not good. she always say to me that my walking is not proper n she also force me to wear cotton clothes which again i dont like.

2006-11-21 16:07:14 · update #1

17 answers

he's having money issue if moving out OR his parent too old to survive alone.

2006-11-19 18:47:39 · answer #1 · answered by peter71 3 · 0 0

If your husband cannot be separated from ur in laws dont insist.. Please note that blood relations are thicker than any other.. no matter what you may think..

If you are don't have any major problems that is space, constant nagging of ur in laws or over indulging so keep your little family life
happy.. If you want to separate just because you dont like your inlaws then it is not fair at all dear..
You are simply being egoistical and selfish.. You want to have just yout own bit of happiness, your own bit of peace of mind all that robbing someone the warmth of his old kin.. And on the other way taking away the presence of the son of an old couple.. Have you ever thought that your husband is not only yours but also a son, a brother, a friend etc.. and you don't OWN him and you are supposed to live a life together with the ups and downs of life.. and not as you think .. that is he must quit all relations and live just for YOU.. Do learn to adjust with life dear that''s living like an adult..

2006-11-21 05:20:03 · answer #2 · answered by magsie 2 · 0 0

Before we think about how to convince your husband lets first think about the resons why he wont leave his parents.

-Is your husband the only son?
-Are your husbands siblings ready to or in a position to take care of your in-laws?
-remember no matter whattheir age now but soon enough you inlaws will attain an age where it will be difficult for them to live all alone.

I can understand your need for privacy, may be your in=laws are too fussy or may be you are just a person who cant live in a croud but magrriage is a compromise. bith you and your husband will have to work this out.

maybe if you have a big house you could create a seperate living area for your in-laws (make sure they are comfertable there and get complete attention of the family) otherwise try takng up a hose just next door.

whatever you do let me give my personal opinion on this now. at the time of your marriage you knew bout your husband's family and his resposibility dint you? it's really wrong of you to ask him to do away wioth them. please dont think that you can take care of your in laws by staying separately. they are not plant that you keep in gardens and just water them once or twice a day. they need your constant company, love and care just like your own child would.

however i understand that i have no business trying to moralize you.

2006-11-19 20:24:53 · answer #3 · answered by urfriendfrlife 5 · 0 0

First give me a reason, why you should move out with your husband, out of your in laws' residence. Do your in laws abuse or torture you? There is no such indication in your question.
According to Indian traditions, a son and his wife should take care of aged parents, who are too old to look after themselves. They should also provide financial and any other support that they might require.
Living separately might provide you with some material comforts, but the blessings of elders are something which can't be valued in material terms yet are possibly the most precious possessions in your life.
So I don't think that your husband needs to be convinced to think like you. It is advisable that you are convinced to think like your husband.

2006-11-21 01:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by Modest 6 · 0 0

People are really finding very hard time of being alone, because their relatives are not arround, and you are talking about seperation, yes you might be true if the strength of your house is more and you are not able to fit into it, but never talk about seperation in thoughts with parents as they are the only one who has made you feel proud.

2006-11-20 03:18:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

first of all i would not and could not let my in laws tell me what i can wear and how i want to wear my hair. second of all if you want to move i would find a place that YOU can afford and tell him either he goes with you or he can stay with his mommy and daddy and never get another wife or girlfriend. but i would definitely put my foot down whether its their house or not. you married him not his parents, but if you tell him your moving i would move close enough that he wont be so far from his parents, but im sorry to say this but he sounds like he doesn't want to take responsibility for his life he wants someone else to do it. but if i was you i would get the hell out. does he even say anything when his mom abuses you if not then hes not a man and he wont take a stand for you so please move and get your own place,. good luck! :)

2006-11-21 16:45:26 · answer #6 · answered by kameo_44 4 · 0 0

hey...I can understand u and ur situation.
there is ego problem. u have come recently in their house and they can not bear ur freedom. it is almost with many MIL with DIL.

Dear friend...did u tell about this to ur parents or friends? who is ur best friend? write her the situation on a peper either ur best friend whom u can trust or ur parents. Do not tell them to open the matter other than them. It will ur supporting document in future ur inlaw illtreats u and if u can not bear it.

Recently there is a anti woman's law. Do not worry.

Take precaution but try convensing them. it the situation is out of ur control, talk to ur parents, lodge complaint. But do not leave ur house.

2006-11-22 22:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by SureshkumarYVS from hyderabad 3 · 0 0

Try talking to him when is in a very nice mood. and tell him how much u really want to move out. if he doesnt agree at all. try finding a house nearby to ur in laws atleast. cause tamil traditional ppl dont leave their parents alone.

2006-11-19 20:58:31 · answer #8 · answered by The one 2 · 0 0

If your husband is in service tell him to take transfer to another state then you will get a separate independent house.

2006-11-19 19:42:13 · answer #9 · answered by bisexualmale s 6 · 0 0

U have to be patient for this bcoz it will take time for him to prepare himself mentally for getting separated with someone with whom he grew up and shared each and every moments of his life.So keep trying patiently.

2006-11-20 00:48:31 · answer #10 · answered by NAZIYA S 1 · 0 0

what if Ur brother want 2 make separate home for his wife . u have to coporate with u'r in-laws . definitely they change there attitude abt u. best -of - luck . have a nice life

2006-11-22 03:12:24 · answer #11 · answered by aamir 1 · 0 0

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