I've been in a relationship for the last year. However, last week my girlfriend told me that she loves me more like a friend, than a boyfriend. We talked about it mid-week, and we've figured out that most of it was caused by poor communication, and inexperience in being in this kind of a relationship. We're giving it another week, for us to talk about what bothers us and what we feel about us being together. She knows that I can't step down to become a friend (that would be too awkward.) We're both important to eachother, and care a great deal for one another.
Is there still hope for love? Can she really love me again? Or is this week just a padding for her losing me?
2006-11-19 18:08:51 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I had a boyfriend tell me I felt like a "friend" as well. The thing was, when he and I talked about his past relationships, he said the same thing about his exes ("she just felt like a 'friend' after a while").
So I knew it was an issue he had that I couldn't fix for him. He has issues from his past like his parents' divorce, etc, and he can't be in relationships right now. He's gone through so many women.
So that's my experience with turning into a 'friend' from 'lover' within, hm, three days. There may be hope for love... but are you willing to spend possibly years on this? Shouldn't you have a partner in a relationship instead of someone you are trying to please and struggling to keep them 'in love'? I think you are handling this very well, better than I did. Ask her if there is a hope. If you believe there is a hope then give it your all!!! If you have your doubts, then walk away and wait for a healthier woman to share a good life with you.
2006-11-19 18:21:10 · answer #1 · answered by carlaerickson 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The line of communication is open and it is a good sign. You are both wise to give it another week. You are important to each other and you can preserve your friendship because you care a great deal for one another. You have not said you love each other. Of course you care, but is it enough to spend the rest of your lives together?
To step down from one level in your relationship is wise if you are not certain it will last and there is nothing wrong in ajusting it to your situation. It may be akward for a little while, but you both would get use to it and may become the best of friends and confidents.
Of course she can love you but perhaps not the way you would want it to be. Keep the communication going! Good luck
2006-11-20 02:22:36 · answer #2 · answered by montralia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello There, If you two really care for one another you would just slow down and communicate more about what really matters to the both of you and think of the others feelings in this relationship more than your own and what is best for that person that is what real love is all about not thinking of yourself but the other person involved I will keep you in my prayers take care
2006-11-20 02:14:30 · answer #3 · answered by g_smith 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What ever it is, it is not healthy for you! You need to look for a supportive, loving, girlfriend that can't wait to get your pants down. Start looking for a very supportive woman with all the qualities you want. They are out there but your not gonna meet them while you're tied up with someone who isn't sure about you. Forgive her for not finding you the great person you are. It's all about her now and that's not what's fun n' healthy for you. When women go for a guy they usually really go for it or maybe you found a girlfriend who was verbally or otherwise abused as a child, and your whole life will be like that.
Whatever,..... a normal healthy relationship isn't easy to find staying around an unhealthy one (for you). Your self esteem is being lowered just putting up with her ambivanance ****!
Besides, this is the best time of the year to meet women because their hormones are the next to highest in the fall to winter and taper off till spring when they peak. That's a known fact of all mammels, like us dude! And women want a man to take to all the social things coming up. It's romantic and they want it.
(male hormones are always on high all the time.)
It isn't gonna get much better where you are if it gets better at all. How much in control do you feel you are right now with her. Zero right... well actually you get your control back by putting on your "boots that are made for walkin" & do it now.
Take time to write down the qualities you want and go out there so she can find you.
Go to every nice event, church, benefits, volunteer, get out let HER meet you! That's what another woman is waiting to do right now. Remember too, there's a lot more women out there than men. To begin with there are 2-3% more women born every year then figure men get killed in war, daredevil racing, fights, overdose, take risky jobs and get killed and women live longer..
Also:
Go to a site on the web called
djnewslet@aol.com
It's very helpful when dating.....
On it michael Jordan said he lost over 1000 game point shots in his career and he's still famous. People trip over their feet to get to him.
Go out, create a new bunch of girlfriends and then Pick the one or ones you want! And still keep one eye looking for Ms Perfect!
above all forgive your girl friend or whatevershedoesn't knowwhatshewants, and forgive yourself for staying in a relationship thats not what you need!
We've all done that many times......move o0ON move o0ON......Bless you and thank yourself for taking this step to change your life/your happiness/future!IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBrass marching band music simulated! now get on with life.......
2006-11-20 03:11:32 · answer #4 · answered by Corkbouy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're in love, so what have you got to lose if you give her the week she wants? You've only got everything to gain if she comes back...
2006-11-20 02:11:51 · answer #5 · answered by rynay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Atleast she was honest, but i know it hurts.I think once the love is gone on a relationship level,that it won't be coming back.But anything's possible.
2006-11-20 02:21:10 · answer #6 · answered by serenity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey if its not right for her, it can't be right for you. It will hurt but let her go. You will be better off in the long run. Good luck.
2006-11-20 02:12:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to discuss everything with her I hope it all turns out well for you
2006-11-20 02:13:31 · answer #8 · answered by whay i lost my ?s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no there is no hope if she has to work on liking you more - then its really not working.if she has to create deep feelings for you instead of them coming about naturally its not going to work.:-(
2006-11-20 02:12:32 · answer #9 · answered by rusalka 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Why not?
2006-11-20 02:10:45 · answer #10 · answered by ImperfectPiinkiish♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋