ok my ex and i split 6 months ago we still remain close friends hang out etc she has told me we will never be back together i accept that she has been seeing my good mate now for a few weeks and they both seem very happy. he has recently split with his wife of 5 years b4 they met. he has a kid to his wife and another on the way. my ex and i are still very close during all this as friends of course can anyone shed anylight on this weird situation
2006-11-19 17:54:19 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes! The "EX" says it all. Get a grip!
2006-11-19 17:56:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I wann congratulate all of you for being so mature about the whole situation. Most people wouldnt think it possible but when you rather have a person as a freind than not at all it makes sense, no? Anyways, you need to know you are not alone in the drama world. I am now married to my ex-brother in law and was actually in the delivery room with his ex wife when their daughter was born. She is now my step- daughter. Talk about WEIRD lol.
2006-11-20 02:02:25 · answer #2 · answered by kra_z_fly_chic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a lot of change to process in a short amount of time. But it doesn't sound like it's being processed though, it sounds like it's being delayed by a desire to hang on to something that should probably be let go of.
You're ex keeps saying there's no chance of a reconcilliation, yet you still spend a lot of time together hanging out, and being close. It sounds to me perhaps, you don't really want it to be over, and are kinda ignoring that fact when you're with her 'as friends' and she's perhaps soaking up all the emotional support you're giving her, which isn't fair to you. You deserve someone who is going to love you back. Right now, she's occupying your 'significant other' space in your heart, and as long as she's there, it's gonna be really hard for any one else to be.
I think what's needed here are some emotional boundaries. One boundary that will reduce some of the confusion is the "none of my business" boundary. Her relationship with your mate is, truly (and I say this compassionately) not any of your business, just as his relationship with his ex-wife is not any of your business. This boundary isn't about not caring about other people, and it's not about not being their friends. It's about not being drawn into someone else's drama. And from what you've described, that is an epic disco era we should be on Jerry Springer type drama in the making. If she starts talking to you about her relationship with him, change the subject, if she insists on talking about it, tell her you feel its "none of my business." If she still continues talking about it, suddenly remember an import errand you have to get done right away, and leave. She will eventually get the point. She might not like it, but if you two are as close as you say, you'll still be friends.
As far as your relationship with her goes, that is very much your business, but your relationship with yourself should come first at this point. Give yourself a little distance from her-physical distance. It will help lesson the emotional intensity of the situation. Don't see her as much. Don't chat with her as much. Go out with your other mates (not the one dating her, although see him occaisionally too), see other women, even if it's just for coffee and conversation. Take a short weekend trip by yourself just to explore a place you've never been to before. In short, move on. I'm not saying this will be easy, or even fun at first, but I think it's necessary, because, frankly, I think she's taking advantage of you.
I'm not saying burn bridges. Maintain the friendships, by all means, but as friendships. Concentrate on healing the hurts in your heart and make room in your life for that someone special.
Good Luck To You :-)
2006-11-20 02:27:10 · answer #3 · answered by Cady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find your own chick. She doesn't want you, so why hang around? You got a right to be happy and you're wasting time with someone who wants you as a friend? wtf? She made the decision, make her live with it..Get ON with it man, put that energy into finding someone who WANTS to be with you? HELLO? It's not rocket science..You're being lazy, get off your a$$ and go!! There's a girl out there who will want you. I know.
The difference will astound you.
2006-11-20 02:04:38 · answer #4 · answered by HowlnWoof 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok it's odd but what's the question???
2006-11-20 02:00:02 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your right its weird
2006-11-20 01:57:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋