Why would a guy lie ?

Question

My boyfriend then, now my baby's father told me he was a virgin when we were 2gether...A couple of months after we were 2gether he confessed to me that he lied to me and that he had been with another person before me, but it meant nothing. I am still tripping about this.. It hurts. He says that he lied to me because he didnt want to loose me. And then I find that he has been chatting with a girl and telling her he loves her...In the email she called me a "crazed *****." He told her about our problems. When i found the email. He said it was just to pass the time that it also didnt mean anything. I love him but the trust isnt there anymore. I just wanna know why he would lie to me... Its not the first time I catch him chatting wth other girls and having them call him... What do you guys think?

Answer 1

Hi TaTa, I hate to see you get hurt,but this guy is a player.He only cares about hisself and his needs.You will never be happy with this jerk. The problem is you cannot ever trust him again. Without trust you don't have a relationship.Besides that he will do it again and again. Kick his sorry A S S to the hurb, and find you a man who will treat you, and your baby with respect,trust and a caring man.You deserve alot better than your getting from the jerk. I'm wishing you and your baby all the luck and have a happy life. A Friend.

Clowmy

Answer 2

First of all, would it have made you end the relationship if you had known he wasn't a virgin? Secondly, he's having these girls call him? That's a problem. If he's in a committed relationship, there is absolutely no reason for him to have girls call him. I totally believe in having friends of the opposite sex, but there are very few that I talk to on the phone, especially without my husband knowing. By not being honest with him about even online chatting, I'm hiding something and giving him a reason not to trust me. And telling her he loves her? That is way, way over the line. If it doesn't mean anything, then why is he even wasting his time? There seems to be more there than what he's telling you.

I don't know what to say about him lying to you about being a virgin. I have problems with lies of any kind, no matter the reason behind it. Honesty is the base of a good relationship and if he felt that he couldn't be honest with you, what does that tell you? It also seems to be setting a pattern. He got away with it before, so why stop now?

Answer 3

How about - Why does everyone lie? Why will every human being on this planet tell a lie? Human Nature. Protective instincts. We want to impress others, be envied, be the dominant, feel strong and feel important. Sometimes your own life accomplishments don't quite measure up to what you feel is impressive. I'm a girl and honestly, I believe the boys who do lie (and not all do- not about big things anyway) is because they want to impress! Now if your boy is lying about seeing other women and getting around well he is a sleeze and there is no point questioning the lies, your better off backhanding the son of a *****. But if he is lying to talk himself up a bit then take a step back and think about all the white lies an exaggerations you have made regarding who you are. You might be surprised, and maybe the question would be reversed to why do you lie?

Answer 4

I am so sorry. Your boyfriend may not have cheated on you yet (at least not physically), but he's headed in that direction. It doesn't sound like he's interested in putting the effort required of him into the relationship. There is absolutely NO excuse for him to have other girls calling and e-mailing him, even if he isn't sleeping with them...yet. He's looking for something better and hanging onto you until he finds it. Don't let him. Break up with him now and get a lawyer to help you with child custody/support. If he loves you, this will be his wake up call, but he MUST stop seeing girls behind your back. If these contacts were innocent, he wouldn't have to sneak around and lie about them. Your gut feeling tells you he is cheating, and you are probably right. This is not a good scenario for you OR your child. It won't be easy or painless, but for your own happiness and the good of your child, it is a necessary step. In time you'll realize that you made the right decision, and you'll have your self-respect.

Answer 5

There is no telling what this liar has been telling the girl he`s chatting with so he will look good and you bad since she called you a bad name. He is a liar and he will always be a liar who you will not be able to trust. If you do not want more of the same thing, as you will always be catching him doing something like this, move on. It will always be your fault because he isn`t man enough to take the blame himself for his own screwups. If you cannot have honor and trust, and no lying in your relationship you will not have a relationship worth having. Don`t wait around until you have another baby with him.

Answer 6

A relationship without trust is no relationship at all.

And if he has you he shouldn't be "chatting" to females that think you are a "crazed *****". I'm not saying he shouldn't have female friends... but his friends should be your friends too.

He has all the characteristics of a cheater. I know it sucks because you have a kid now but you might want to think about moving on. Or if you want to stay with him talk to him about having an "open relationship" [only if you are okay with that]. So that way he can do his own thing and you won't feel guilty about doing your own thing.

Answer 7

Everyone else will say "DUMP HIM!!!" and I know its hard because you love him, also have a baby with him...he might have just been lying becasue he didnt wanna lose you...thats in the past..and u were only dating a couple months.
The real problem is the other girls. Its hard but you need to try and find someoen else....girls seem to think because they have kids nowone will want them. Its not true..there r guys out there who have kids but the girl was a whore..or loser..or drug addict..and now they are lookign for a good faithful girl.

Answer 8

" some guys mean what they say...others do not. Its hard to tell the guys apart at the start ,but they always reveal their true nature eventually...that is why its always better to wait for sex even though you WANT it now. You have to know that the erge for sex for a guy is very powerful and it can be turned on in seconds and alot of guys don't know how to get it under control . they will say and do what ever is necessary to get it and keep it coming. ( no pun intended) Integrity has to be taught and learned ...girls need to learn to recognize it in men. ( you may be in love with the thought of being in love with a man of integrity)

Answer 9

I am very sad for your situation.

For a couple to have a child is a HUGE step. The woman gets very emotional, her hormones change like the weather, and her affections shift to the baby. This is very hard on a man on many levels. Now try this with an uncommitted relationship and you have a disaster in the making. Obviously he is working on another girl for more of the easy pre-baby relationships.

You, my friend are screwed in more ways than one. Your baby needs your undivided attention. And the selfish jerk needs to care for his baby. Perhaps the best option for the baby is for you to adapt it out to a stable mother-father family while you get your act together and quit sleeping with selfish boys.

Answer 10

wow alot of things don't mean anything with him. But everything means something. If you don't trust him and it sounds like you have every reason not to then you have to decide what's best for you and the baby. Kids pick up on this sort of thing as they get older, my 7 year old knows alot more than her father and I thought she knew about our troubles. maybe he is just a pathological liar. OR maybe he wants his cake and to eat it too.