when i was four i moved in with my grandparents. When i turned six my grandpa became a hella huge alcoholic and started molesting me he didn't sop till i was 12. at 14 i told my grandma she called the cops on him and i got put into foster care i went threw hella s*** and my family is still really distant and don't act like my family anymore i don't know what to do.
2006-11-19 16:51:26 · 12 answers · asked by Lizzie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You probably won't like my answer....but... First, stop talking with cuss words and change your nickname "dirtylittlebit**" Cussing, using insults and being demeaning to others by using foul language doesn't prove or assert your point. Get your self right with God, find a family within a church and the family of God, then run as far in the other direction of the ones that did these horrible things to you, or you are no different. Then forgive them in the name of Jesus Christ whether they deserve it or not... you only hurt yourself by being angry or holding a grudge...not them... they didn't care when they did what they did... they won't care if you are angry... they didn't have guilt then... they won't now. It hurts when family isn't what it should be.... but there is healing in Jesus! And I agree with a couple others... get counseling, but not with the traditional type.. With a pastor... I know they give the traditional type of counseling in foster care (my mother does foster care) it doesn't do any good compared to pastor!!!! I hope you can heal from this.. my life hasn't been a cake walk, God truly is a comfort, and he heals our hurt that happens throughout life.... God bless!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-19 17:13:42 · answer #1 · answered by Country 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry to hear that. My family is distant from me too. I was molested by my step dad and got put into foster care. My mom didn't believe me and that was that. My friends became my family. I've tried to keep in touch but everytime I called my mom she would be cold with me and never gave me a chance. I would call her on Christmas and on her birthdays and I would tell her that I love her but she wouldn't say it back. In the end it just hurt too much to keep trying. I am the black sheep of my family. All I know is that it made me a stronger person and I would never turn my back on my children. There are many people in the same boat as us, but they just don't talk about it. It's hard to move on. Whatever happens, appreciate and be thankful for the friends you have made in your life that have helped you get through things. You can only live your life and be patient. If they ever do try to get close to you, accept them with loving arms. After over 5 years, my brother just started talking to me. I don't talk about what happened though. I'm mad that my mom is still with the pervert, but what can I do? Nothing. I believe that everything happens for a reason, I wouldn't be the person I am today if none of that stuff never happened. I would be somewhere completely different and I wouldn't have met the great people I have met. Of course, I would do anything to have my family again and I wish he had never done the things he had done. But things would certainly be different. I am happy despite all the crap I went through. I am making the best I can out of life, trying to stay positive. I tell myself things could be worse. It's hard sometimes, I still get nightmares. At least with your experience, you can help others in need who are going through similar things. If they aren't good to you there are plenty of people out there who will be good to you. Focus on your own life and making the best of it with or without them.
2006-11-20 01:22:39 · answer #2 · answered by I am a Muppet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are now, time heals all wounds if you pray and talk to God and Jesus. If you don't have a higher power to help you, time just festers and contaminates all wounds. What happened to you in the past is child soul murder. You must pray and talk to a help line or if you can afford a therapist, go to one. Your adult must heal your inner child, change your name, find actiities that you enjoy, pamper yourself, heal yourself, take charge of your life then your family will be closer, they probably cant get rid of the dirty little pictures they see, they are probably ashamed of what happened because they didn't see it for 2 years then they lost you to foster care when they spoke up. They need a little help too, maybe a support group for them, for you or all of you.
2006-11-20 01:54:12 · answer #3 · answered by atantatlantis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for what you have been through, I've almost been through the same thing as you. Its hard to get over or stop thinking about what happened. The best thing you can do now is have patience and Pray for Jesus Christ to help you in what you're going through, its on His time to work in your life. It's up to you if you want to Pray to Him for help. I'll pray for a better life for you. And I hope you and your family can be together again.
God Bless you.
2006-11-20 01:06:52 · answer #4 · answered by Hadassah R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel for u... i think u should start contactin ur real parents if u have any addy or any or their number... if u do tell them how u feel n what u have been through... If u dnt have ne thing of them then i think u should make a new start... leave everything in the past n try to start a new life with jus happy thoughts, try make new friends because if ur not gna forget what happend in the past it will jus eat u alive
2006-11-20 00:55:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok you should call someone like Kids Help Line (1800 551 800) or go onto their website www.kidshelpline.com.au and you can have email or online counscelling. You may not want to but they would be most helpful, I can't really help you over the internet.
2006-11-20 00:55:38 · answer #6 · answered by Out of Reach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently, they didnt act like your family before since it was your grandparents who took you in. Then when you got taken out of the home, they didnt step up, did they? Thats not family. They werent supposed to abandon you when you needed them most.
2006-11-20 00:54:59 · answer #7 · answered by JC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get some counselling from a professional like a rape counselling service because your family doesn't sound too healthy blaming you for something you couldn't control. You're the victim, but they are treating you like the criminal.
2006-11-20 00:58:31 · answer #8 · answered by Beatpuppet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
" look up web sites under "abused" and seek help from people who specialize in this area. They know what helps and heals...good luck. Remember this happened TO you ... it doesn't determine who you are ...and quit calling yourself that ...you are way better than that...everyone needs help for something , only the ones with guts ask ,get it and move ahead in life ...go for it.
2006-11-20 00:59:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have had some real bad experiences , try and find new friends who you can trust and they understand you. Its kinda shitty to go thur this stuff only you know what you have been thru.
Praying helps too.
2006-11-20 00:57:51 · answer #10 · answered by funnysam2006 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋