ok... i cant believe im telling absolute strangers this, but i met a girl about a year ago. we were both intersted with each other from the start. but i didnt want a relationship, and she was looking for a husband. so we went our separate ways. well out the blue we run into each other at a cafe. by her sude was her fiance. anyway, she intoduces me to the guy andwe get to chatting. turns out he knew who i was becuase she talked about me quite a bit to him. knowing that they still invite me to the wedding that was a month away.
about a week before the wedding i get an email from the girl saying that she wanted to sleep with me before she got married. being a man i didnt say no and i did. now here is the hard part... she is now pregnant. the woman and i are both womering if we should tell the husband or not? by the way i am african american she is white. the husband is white. it will be obvious who th father is when the baby comes 8 months from now...
2006-11-19 16:43:24 · 33 answers · asked by biggss231 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
THERE IS MORE TO THE STORY. the married couple are swingers....thats right they knowingly have sex with other people. but the thing is he told her specically that he doesnt feel comfortable with her doing anything with me...
oh yeah i forgot to say, i am not a hick, uneducated. i have a succsesful career and am finacially stable as is the married couple.
2006-11-19 17:01:47 · update #1
you deserve everything you get. You should have never slept with her. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.....
2006-11-19 16:48:13 · answer #1 · answered by danny_austin4 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Damn what were you thinking? Do you like or love the girl, and does she like you or was it just that you both wanted to be with each other.
The thing is as she and her man are swingers so even if the baby is black there is no guarantee that it will be yours. Likewise if its white no guarantee that it will be her man's.
If I were you I'd sit down and tell her man what you did, therefore it will cover you in case the baby is yours and then at least you would have stepped up to the plate before hand instead of being a coward and not saying anything. If you were man enough to sleep with this girl and you knew that she was getting married you should be man enough to tell the guy what you did and if they break up because of it well maybe the two of you should have thought about that it the first place
2006-11-19 21:09:32 · answer #2 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess neither one of you have any respect or morals for yourselves or the husband. Now I hope that the baby is yours she will get what she deserves, KICKED TO THE CURB!!! I can't believe that she would do this to the man that she loves LOL that in itself is a joke..
Now you want to tell the husband that she is a who** and you a PIG and that the baby is questinable, you two are sad sad people.. Either way she is going to end up KICKED TO THE CURB as she deserves so go for it. The only one I feel bad for in this situation is the husband who even knew that you two were involved before sitll trusted you and allowed you to go to his wedding. And then this poor kid is going to be brought into this world by at least one person who has no right to have ANYONES baby...
Sorry if I am being harsh but did you expect to get sympathy with this question? Would love to know the outcome to this so I can laugh when he gets divorced from the bit*h and you end up with a kid you didn't want and a woman that you didn't want...
2006-11-19 16:52:18 · answer #3 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well there's two ways of going about with this. The girl can either choose to do the right thing or not. I honestly don't think with their deviant practices they should get married. Also, her wanting to sleep with you signifies that she isn't ready and is freaked out about marrying. I don't think you're responsible for breaking the news to the fiance. It's her call. She wanted to have promiscuous sex the day before her wedding and didn't even think of protecting herself. She can tell her fiance about it and if she does, you should take responsibility for the child. If she chooses to lie about it, then it's her decision. Otherwise, I wouldn't do anything. You're a third party here who was somewhat manipulated into this situation quite unfairly. But if you really do care about her and want to take care of the child, then you should encourage her to tell the truth.
2006-11-20 01:22:54 · answer #4 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man are you in hot water. This sounds like a Jerry Springer episode. She should tell her husband. It is her responsibility to be straight honest with the man she married. If she thinks you maybe the father then she owes it to the guy to talk this out. She also must realize that he may leave her. And if your the father are you willing to be responsible for your part in all this and be a father to this child? This is a big issue and can't be ignored. It needs to be layed out on the table and what happens will happen.
2006-11-19 16:50:25 · answer #5 · answered by MereBear 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a man you didnt say no?????
Real men think with the larger of their two heads.
You are nothing but a punk who obviously thinks with his penis.
Had you been a real man you would have said no. Had she said we are swingers you would have said invite me to your next party. and no matter what... USE PROTECTION
You messed up, big time.
There are a few things you need to worry about. Child support, and dissability.
Dissability? Cause you are probably going to have an accident when he finds out.
2006-11-19 20:02:57 · answer #6 · answered by Texas Tiger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly you have to come clean... i mean it wouldn't matter if you were white either she would still have to tell him and the child. something to think about is one day if this child needs blood or any sort of family history is with you He may be mad now but maybe she wasn't ready if she slept with you...
Also this is not just your fault she is just as guilty as you are. please tell him before the baby comes let him get all his frustrations out..and if they don't get married for this reason then that's the way it should be... I don't believe in abortion as a form of birth control and if you are leaning that way that still has to be explained too!
2006-11-21 04:40:28 · answer #7 · answered by Catherine A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is absolutely ridiculous. What the hell were you thinking?????? Did you really think that the husband would not find out? You and her both deserve whatever you get. I agree with a lot of the other people who have responded to you.
I hope the husband kicks her to the curb and beats the sh!t out of you!!!!
2006-11-20 00:59:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy, what a mess. You and she are both too irresponsible to be married to anyone. She should inform her fiance, cancel her wedding, and get an abortion.
If she chooses to keep the baby, then she should not burden some other guy with it without his knowing.
She must tell him because it will be immediate grounds for a divorce anyway, and he's not obligated to support it, etc.
2006-11-19 16:48:25 · answer #9 · answered by Al 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok dude if you knew this girl was going to get married soon why did you sleep? Now I take it that you are a single man. I hate to be the one to tell you BUT WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND BUT IT WILL GET YOU HARDER. It is just as much your fault to. I pray that you didn't father this child I guess next time you'll put on you thinking cap oops I mean your condom good luck dude
2006-11-19 17:00:11 · answer #10 · answered by Jamie H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if the husband doesn't know about the baby, get an abortion
the baby will cause pain
or you can just say its not yours and cut off all ties with them.
like more to a state like 500 miles away
2006-11-21 01:16:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋