Over protective father?

Question

Would you see this as too overprotective? Almost harmfully overprotective?
I'm 15 fyi

1. My father does not let me stay home alone. He sends his half blind half deaf mother over to babysit me, or he must take me along on every errand, no matter how small.
2. I am not allowed to sit in a movie on my own. Even if my mother and brother are in the same theatre but just different movies.
3. I'm not allowed to get the mail by myself.
4. I'm not allowed to do the laundry by myself (the laundry room is in the back yard) (we don't live in a bad neighborhood either)

This one doesn't have to deal with over-protectiveness but it just annoys me......he forces me to go to church every Sunday and won't let me become a Buddhist even though I've told him I don't believe in God and would rather practice Buddhism.

Do you think this is detrimental to a teenager's development?

Answer 1

I think my sister had the best answer but you went crying to yahoo saying it was abuse.You can not cry over answers when you put yourself out here to be judge by others.Here is the email she got from yahoo.

Deleted Answer: now tell us what you done to break his trust with you.A buddhist huh? Glad you aint one of mine because by time I got done with you,you would know there is a God and you would be praying for me to stop beating your @ss.

Reason of Violation:Insulting Other Participants
She only stated what she would do to her kids and in no way insulted you.

Answer 2

sweetie, put yourself in your dads shoes. all these kids being kidnapped & coming up missing all the time. what you see as overprotective is your dads way of making sure you are safe & secure. you don't have to live in a bad neighborhood either anymore. the world is changing everyday. i am 25 years old, i have 4 year old twin sons, and let me tell you-someof the things that i was allowed to do when i was a little girl-it's really sad but my kids will never be able to do those things. this is a very dangerous place anymore, especially for young ones. your dad cares-be grateful for that. as far as what you choose to believe, you can develop your own beliefs, and satisfy your beliefs and curiositys at the same time. it's very hard for parents to let go. we take care of you and nurture you for so long then BAM-you want to break away & do your own thing. it can be very difficult for the parent. when you're 18, stop going to church if you want-what's the harm in going? you're 15, be young while you can. once you hit 18-20-25. . . . .you'll be wishing you were 15 again! good luck

Answer 3

At fifteen, even though you are far from knowing everything, the morals he has tried to instill in you are either there or not. He's trying to protect you from the very bad world out there (and believe me...it's bad), but what he needs to teach you is how to protect yourself out there in that world rather than keep trying to protect you in the home, because one day you will go out there and not know what to beware of. I lost my 20 yr old niece to kidnap, rape and murder. Every day horrible things like that happen to young women and your dad is painfully aware and loves you so much. But he needs to loosen the reins. Be patient and talk to him about this. As far as being a Buddhist, listen to your father. There is a God and although you say now you do not believe in Him, He does believe in you. One day you will need Him and He will be there for you. He loves you.

Answer 4

Well, let me put it to you this way. My kids had to walk down a long laneway to catch the bus 1/2 mile, we lived in the country. I always walked them down but had them walk up by themselves. Until a neighbour told me "I know when you feed your animals, know how much time you spend outside, know how long it takes your kids.." That was about when I told her if she ever came near my kids they wouldn't have to look for a body 'cause they'd never find it. There was no sign that these people were weird, they lived next to us for a year before this came up. They always made a fuss about our dogs, they were trained guard dogs and other stuff that made little sense, why would they care? After this conversation a lot of little pieces fell into place. My kids weren't left alone, ever. They're fine.
On the Buddhist thing, when you come of age you may persue whatever form of religion you like, until then may I suggest attending church.

Answer 5

laundry in the back yard? i don't get it. in the yard? i've never heard of that before so i don't know what to say about that.
maybe he's expecting something from an 'adult' store so he doesn't want you to see it. maybe he's behind on a bill and doesn't want you to know (LATE stamped on it).
movies- have you heard about all the girls being stolen and sold into prostitution or sold into the blackmarket and sent overseas?
maybe dad need a sitter for his mom and you happen to be the one.
you are 15 and your belief system isn't set in stone,yet. keep going to church and learn (on your own time) about other religions. there might be something you find that you want to add to the belief system you have.

if it makes you feel any better, my husbands' daughter (i don't call her a stepdaughter because she was 17 when we married - too old to be concidered 'stepdaughter' , i think) isn't allowed to clean her bedroom, put her clothes away, wash dishes, set the table, iron, wash her own clothes, vacuum, dust, cook -NOTHING. she's 18 and LOST as to how to take care of herself.

Answer 6

THANK GOD their are still great parents out their. Sorry hon, your daddy loves you. I know it's hard right now, but I think he is doing a darn good job of being a father!!! Now if you were 18 then that would be a different story.

Good Luck

PS go give you dad a hug and tell him how much you love him. Also thank him for being such a great dad

Answer 7

WOW your dad is super overprotective. Honey I don't know what to tell you to make it better. I mean I let my 6 yo go get the mail. A babysitter at your age is an insult. I mean I was a babysitter myself at 13 y.o.
You need to talk to him. Really tell him all this shows that he has a lack of trust of you. You want him to trust you but he has to give you chances for you to prove your trustworthy.

Answer 8

Sounds like a bit overprotective. Ask him why he does that, and when you will be able to go by yourself to those things.

My parents forced me to go to church every sunday even though I'm an atheist (non-believer). He thinks it will help you. If you complain enough eventually he'll stop. I understand, cults were never my thing either. :)

I think your daddy has trouble letting go of his daughter. What does your mother think (if you have one/live with one)?

Answer 9

It's sounds as if he has some serious control issues. I would talk to you school counselor about what you just told us. This is not a healthy relationship and a professional needs to help you. Good luck.

Answer 10

it would might desire to be a question of the size of time that I even have been with this woman. As of now, i admire a woman plenty, and if i found out that her father was once a hitman, then i might might desire to handle it. i does not supply up that actual.