would someone plz answer this question??? am i right or wrong for feeling this way?

Question

i caught my bf looking at another woman private area. he noticed it cuz of the way her pants were fitting. ok he then turns back and look at her again. now dont get me wrong i look at guys too. but not in a lustful way, cuz my mind, body, and soul is is suppose to be with him. and if i do see an attractive guy i dont make it disrespectful when i am with my bf in public. ive talked to him before and let him know how it makes me feel when he does this. he acts as if im not with him when he does this. he looked at her as if he liked what he saw. if a womans pants are jacked up in between here legs and he saw it, and kept looking then i know what was going thru his mind. i feel its a way to look without beeing disrespectful. i dont want to hear about men are just that way becuz it still doesnt make it right. my bf shouldnt have lustful thoughts for another woman while im standing right there looking him in the face while he does that. so am i wrong for feeling this way.

Answer 1

Well think about this if he looks that hard when your there maybe hes doing more than just looking when your not. If you've talked to him about it and still no change then you got a problem and it might be solved with a break up.

Answer 2

No! You are not wrong for thinking this way. In fact, this is not a right or wrong issue, but an issue of character and sensitivity. One definition of character is the ability to make good decisions that are equally good for others--in this particular case--YOU! Thus, we see from your question that your boyfriend lacks character in this specific area of life--lusting. But now, let me read between the lines. You wrote: " . . .if I do see an attractive guy I don't make it disrespectful when I am with my bf in public." I infer from the way you wrote that if you're not with your boyfriend, in public, your "looks" at an attractive guy might border on lustful, too. Well, another definition of character is the ability to make good decisions when no one you care about is watching.
Now you must weigh the issues. What are your boyfriends really strong points? I assume that he's attractive. Is is sensitive most of the time, considerate, polite, ambitious and trustworthy most of the time? If you answer "yes," then what weight do you apply to these characteristics in him?
So it seems that he needs to work on his character--deciding to curb his lustful looks, and his sensitivity--particularly when the two of you are in public together.
Why not work a trade and suggest that if he will work to stop looking lustfully, you will work just as hard on changing some aspect of your character that rubs him the wrong way.
Hope this helps.
Have nice day!

Answer 3

It is perfectly healthy for both of you to have "lustful" thoughts about other people. It may not have been right for him to gawk at her like that, and I know you don't want to hear this, that is the way it is. I am not sure how you got this far into a relationship thinking that when you are with each other, you are not supposed to look at or think about anyone else. As long as he is not acting on these feelings, I don't really see what your problem is. So you admit you look at other guys, and the idea of look lustfully is purely ones opinion, so if he were to see you looking at another guy but "un-lustfully" thats ok?? If this is the biggest problem you are having in your life right now, that your boyfriend, not your husband, is looking at another girls butt, get over it and get a life!!!

Answer 4

No, your not wrong for feeling this way. You seem insecure though. Have you been cheated on before? Has he cheated on you? I have a hard time with trusting significant others. If they are checking out others genitalia, it really bothers me or would bother me. Some guys think that "camel toe" is a turn on. I'm not condoning what he did. I am also a guy and I know that I have made some of my x's feel insecure while I thought I was being sneaky or not even realizing that I was looking at other woman. I know what it's like to have a significant other check out others in front of you and it makes you feel like you aren't as attractive as you or they desire that person more than you. It hurts.

Answer 5

I don't mean this in a bad way, but I can tell you are still young. But you are not wrong for feeling disrespected. Not all guys are so blatant when they look at other women. But, believe me when I tell you, they find a way to look, just discreetly. Let me give you a really good example. My dad and I were out together, and we stopped to put gas in the car. I went inside to pay, and when I came back my dad was mesmerized by this woman bending over to pump her gas. He did not even hear me get in the car; at that time my dad was 79!!!
Your boyfriend, if you can call him that, has no respect for you. You have told him you don't like it, yet he still does it. Unless you want to deal with this, you will have to move on.

Answer 6

You have a right to feel that way. When you are with someone, you want them to show you respect when you're in public and private. Given we're all humans and everyone looks. But there is a difference between looking and staring...my boyfriend would not dare to keep on staring at a girl when I'm around him. Men tend to think that we are just overreacting when we bring up this sort of matter, but we're women, that's how we get. It just shows from your boyfriend's actions that he doesn't seem to be as committed to you as you are to him. Talk to him about it, see what he has to say.

Answer 7

I think you are going over the top a bit. women and men wear clothes like that to get attention....al she did was accomplish her goal of having a man look. Is it disrespectfull? Yes, to a point. Is he really gawking at this woman or are you imbelishing a bit about the story? If he was gawking like you describe, he may as well jave shoved his face in there...otherwise, it almost sounds like this other woman's attire caught your b/f's attention by surprise and he wanted to make sure what he was what he saw. Face it, people, both men and women, dress a certain way to attract attention to themselves...that is all this woman did. Next time he does gawk like you described, smack him in the balls firmly...that will also get his attention and re-direct it away from what you obviously don't want him looking at......hope this helps.....

Answer 8

Glancing is different from staring. If he had just glanced and then looked back at you then it would have been all right. He obviously didn't do that though, so I think you are for feeling that way about it. Try talking to him about it. If he's really worth keeping he shouldn't do it again after you tell him it bothers you! Good luck!

Answer 9

No, I don't think you're wrong for feeling this way. Why would you be?? He should have enough respect for you to look away when he sees these things. And you're right why should men be given an excuse for everything they do. People give them an o.k. when they do doggish things, but let him know how YOU feel. If we have to give them respect, they should do the same. It probably would be a different story if you did that.Am I right??

Answer 10

Maybe he did a double take because he couldn't believe she would come out in public with camel toe! LOL. Sounds like camel toe, do you think that is sexy? I personally wouldn't care, I probably would have said something to her.

Although there is some disrespect in looking, we all do it, we are human. Women are discrete about it and men are retarded about it. You just have to be secure enough in your relationship and with yourself and these little things won't bother you. Hey, it's not like he went up to her and asked for her number or touched it!!