If someone close to you commits suicide, should you be angry?

Question

Okay, say if someone you were really close to killed themselves... Would it be normal to be angry with them and hate them for making such a selfish decision? Is this the way most people feel?

Answer 1

Yes indeed, I think suicide is a very selfish thing to do. People will be very angry at first, than they go into a depression and than finally recovery. Alot of times though denial and guilt comes first because you cant believe it has happened and than you feel guilty because you think you could have some how prevented it.

Answer 2

I understand why you'd be angry, but the choice that person made was a last resort. Suicide can be selfish, but sometimes you get to the point of breaking down and you can't handle the pressure of depression, stress, grievance, etc. I've been there and totally understood that if I ended my life it would hurt everyone around me but I couldn't live with the feelings I had welling up inside. It becomes too much to take and sometimes you just have to let go. Try and think, "maybe they're having a really hard time, it doesn't make them a bad person." There are a lot of people out there feeling like this. You probably look at them every day and will never know.

Answer 3

Im really sorry for your loss, but before you jump on the anger bandwagon....you may wanna ask "why" this person committed suicide. Mental illnesses such as "clinical depression" can lead to irrational thoughts such as suicide. If this was a factor, consider the fact that this person close to you may not have been in all their senses during this tragic time. Think about it, dont most "normal" people really really wanna live?

Answer 4

Why be angry or hate your friend when you will never be able to get a response from them on why they killed themselves maybe they did something that would be punishable by death. No one has the answers nor the rights to tell you how to show your emotions but why give in to it if you know that your friend was a good person. What you should do is do something in honor of thier memory like do something they must have enjoyed before ending their lives or volunteer at Teen Centers for troubled teens. Give back to society even if the society made your friend die. No one's fault and no one should take the blame. Your friend is at peace. Just keep their legacy going by doing what they enjoyed doing. You be the speaker for Teenage (any age) Suicide and make a difference. Enjoy your life.

Answer 5

I am sorry that your friend was taken away like that. I can only imagine how it must hurt you.

As with any death what and how you feel in the moment is just a part of who you are in regards to the relationship with the person who died. It is normal for you to feel whatever you are feeling. That's your normal and it does not matter what other people feel. But to answer your question, it is common for those left to deal with life after a suicide to feel angry. But many feel like they understand their loved ones pain and why they did what they did. A good many more and probably most feel a long precession of feelings. From feeling pain and hurt, to feeling angry, to just feeling sad and depressed, feeling guilty because you didn't see it, and perhaps at some point relief to know their loved one is not suffering anymore. The feeling are all normal no matter how you feel.

Terry

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Answer 6

Anger is a part of grieving. Suicide is selfish, however, when people are "that" depressed, to them, it's the only way out. It is a sickness, like a disease. Maybe looking at it that way will help. It is perfectly normal to be angry, because being angry feels much better than being hurt. Good Luck!!!!!!

Answer 7

Yes it is normal for you to be angry because that person is gone now. That person took their own life. When I was suicidal I was told by so many people that I was only thinking about myself not the people that I would leave behind. So yes you have every right to be angry at that person for leaving you in the manner that it happen. Hopefully that anger will eventually subside with time and you can forgive that person. Good luck to you and God Bless.

Answer 8

Anger is often a normal reaction, because you have a hard time understanding how they could do it, not only to themselves, but to their family and friends. The people left behind go through a range of emotions- disbelief, denial, anger, pain.

Hate on the other hand, is hard to think of. If it was someone I really loved and cared about in life, I do not think I could hate them after they are dead, no matter how much their death hurt me, because I believe they had to have been in a lot of pain, and in a really confused state of mind to believe this was the only way to deal with their problems.

Hope this helps. God bless you.

Answer 9

Anger is one of the five stages of grief or tragedy that many people feel when losing someone close.

The stages are:

Denial - The "This can't be real" stage.: "This is not happening to me." "There must be a mistake"
Anger - The "Why me?" stage.: "How dare you do this to me?!" (either referring to God, the late person, or themselves)
Bargaining - The "If I do this, you’ll do that" stage.: "Just let me live to see my son graduate."
Depression - The "Defeated" stage.: "I can't bear to face going through this, putting my family through this."
Acceptance - The "This is going to happen" stage.: "I'm ready, I don't want to struggle anymore."
Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss, such as the death of a loved one, or even divorce. She also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.

Others have noticed that any significant personal change can follow these stages. For example, experienced criminal defense attorneys are aware that defendants who are facing stiff sentences, yet have no defenses or mitigating factors to lessen their sentences, often experience the stages. Accordingly, they must get to the acceptance stage before they are prepared to plead guilty.

Answer 10

I think that it is normal. First you get mad because it seems like a stupid decision, and they are leaving you and not thinking about how you might feel. After awhile you start to think about things that had been going on and you get mad at yourself because you didn't do anything to stop them or help them. Then you just accept it. Although it well never be far out of your thoughts. Life has to go on. Just think of the good times that you had while they were here.