how to respond to marriage-related questions near my bf's family at thanxgiving table?

Question

my bf (9 months) & I will travel out-of-state for thanxgiving with his family. i've never met them before.
i want to marry my bf but he hasn't proposed yet (he got my finger size measured in jewelery's diamong-ring section though) if the family asks me anything, how should i respond? i'm a foreigner and in my culture it's bad manners for a young lady to be "too willing" to marry a guy. my bf is american. i would appreciate american responders.
thank you

Answer 1

Usually when people ask things like "so, when are you going to marry my grandson?" and things like that, they just mean it to tease you or your bf. (if they say it like they're serious, don't do what I am about to tell you!) So, if it's just little joking things like that, just smile and laugh it away. But if you're too nervous to do that, I would suggest talking to your bf, and ask him to say joking things to his family like "tomorrow, didn't you get the invitation?". Good luck!!

Answer 2

In the US it is considered weird for a woman to not be highly interested in getting married to a serious boyfriend. You are expected to get to know his family as well as possible. When you marry (actually this starts long before you are married) you become part of eachothers families. His parents will consider you their daughter. However, it is not considered polite for them to inquire too much about your plans until it becomes obvious you are getting married. Actually, they are supposed to wait until after he has proposed so as not to ruin the surprise. If they do ask, simply say that your boyfriend has not proposed yet and leave it at that. They might tease him for not having done it yet but that should be all.

Answer 3

let them know that you and he care for each other very much and neither of you want to rush into anything, so when the time is right you & your bf will make the right decision that's best for both of you.

It's a kinda diplomatic answer, without giving any definite plans... and it hopefully won't offend your possible future in-laws.

If they keep asking, then I would just smile, and let them know that time hasn't come for that yet, and then ask them to ask your bf what he thinks.

Answer 4

Play it cool. If they joke around with you, play along. But if they are really direct and ask "when are you getting married," just say that you haven't talked about it. Don't get nervous. Just relax. If he measured your finger size, then the marriage will probably happen.

Answer 5

Just tell the truth: nothing has been decided, and let it go at that. If the family has the manners that it should, they won't ask anything, and certainly not press for details.

Answer 6

Joke around, say Oh I'm not sure, he'd have to ask me to find out? And then add in something like, he's awfully cute, ya ah maybe I'd marry him! Will see? I know when I'm caught in a tough spot, I add humor too it! Have fun!

Answer 7

when and if you and your fella decide to marry is between you and him. Unfortunately, family gatherings can make you feel uncomfortable. From what you say, the truth is that no final decision has been reached and you'll (both) let them know when there is something decided.

Answer 8

Be polite and smile and say, "I am enjoying being with you today and when we have news, we'll be sure to let you know!"

Don't worry too much about the questions, just try and have a nice time.

Answer 9

When they ask you, turn to him and say "Honey, would you like to answer this question?". It's on his time table not yours so don't put all the pressure on yourself, let him help out and fend his family off of you.

Answer 10

Just say it's up to him to ask you before you can respond to that question.