Ok so, my mom and dad were never married when they had me. When I was born my dad left, married another woman, and had two kids with her. He joined the army and moved to Texas. He was never really around for 15 years of my life. I would get few calls from him, few birthday cards, christmas cards, etc. He only came to visit a few times. Last year I got to see him for the first time in 4 years. I went back to TX with him for a week to vistit with him and my brother and sitster. At the end of Feb. he moved back to this state. Since then we have grow so close to eachother. I found it in my heart to forgive him and give him another chance. We have gone to games, movies, parties, etc. Now he has a girlfriend and the thing is, she's only a few years older than me. I'm 16. That bothers me a little. What bothers me the most is that whenever she's around, I feel like she gets more attention. I want my dad's attention, but can you blame me? He was never there for me. I feel bad. What do I do?
2006-11-19 15:40:17 · 11 answers · asked by Missi899 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well your dad obviously is one of those men who moves around a lot in life...you are right to expect more, but you may find yourself disappointed over and over in life...because now this new chick in his life will want him all to herself and she will want to be his priority. So you are going to be in a difficult situation.
You are lucky you had this time together. Hopefully you will have more time together. Talk to you dad when she's not around and tell him how you feel. Really have a heart to heart with him about your feelings...in the past and now...and what your fears are. This way he will be aware and will sense when you are feeling this way...and hopefully find a way to smooth it all out so you can all be happy. Don't be surprised though if this girl may sway him away from you. She isn't much older than you and probably you are as mature if not more than she is...what's with that dad of yours anyhow! Sheesh. Nothing you can do about it if it he ends up with this woman but you shouldn't become enemies with her or it will be very hard and your dad may have to choose and hey...men don't always think with thier heads. Good luck to you.
2006-11-19 15:47:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I understand that your dad has not been part of your life for 15 years. That certainly is an awful and an irretrievable loss. Now he's moved closer to and showing you great attention (while he wasn't dating anyone). Now a girl of about 20 has entered into his life (Way to go Dad) and she's young enough to be your sister. You say that bothers you a little…. I think it's called jealousy. That can really consume you so you need to be careful.
Of course when you are around you feel like you're not getting as much attention. But that wouldn't matter if she was 20 or 50 your dad is going to give attention to her. This is the woman he's dating, this is the woman he might want to spend more time with and look to get into a longer relationship with.
What if this is the girl that really works out for him? What if this is his perfect match?
Let's take this scenario that you break them up, cause trouble, get more jealous and your father, not wanting to hurt you, breaks off his affair. A couple of years go by you find a great guy, get married, he gets transferred to somewhere and you have to go with him. Now your dad is alone. Maybe not the result you want to strive for?
If your dad goes gaga over this girl and one day marries her then you're not losing a dad, you're gaining a stepmom ….that shops at the same stores you do. The only problem is you both get carded at the restaurants.
It's important you stay neutral here. Do not put your father in a position where he must choose. That's not fair to anybody. Let the relationship with his girlfriend continue… it may burn out on its own. You've waited 15 years to get back with your father. If this makes him happy then you should support it. Remember you will always be his daughter no matter how many other women go in and out of his life!
Mark
Author GirlsTellAll
editor@girlstellall.com
Everyone ask so - (the girl in the photo was the model for the book cover)
2006-11-19 16:15:08 · answer #2 · answered by GirlsTellAll.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of yourself as lucky and cherish the good times you've had and there will be other times just like that. Don't let the bad word, jealousy get in between you and your Dad. There are some Dad's that just don't care and don't even admitt to having the child that they had, I know because to this day my biological Dad has never claimed me. I'm quite a bit older than you are and you've got the chance to at least make some memory's with your Dad, don't mess it up. Enjoy the good times and remember them always.
2006-11-19 16:56:26 · answer #3 · answered by ANG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so happy for you that you and your Dad finally have a closeness. I know how weird it can be to have your Dad's girlfriend only a few years older than you. It was the other way around with me I was 22 and my boyfriends daughter was 18 I couldn't handle it, she liked the idea we had much in common but I just felt to weird and broke things off with him. I would have been more like a sister to my Step-Daughter .
2006-11-19 15:48:10 · answer #4 · answered by Pamela V 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm happy for you that your dad is in your life. I do understand your concern, and jealousy. That must mean she's only 19. Guess dads going through a midlife crisis, or just never matured much. Either way this young lady will tire fast of your father, he is too old and she will get bored. Hang in there and don't give up on your dad.
2006-11-19 15:46:53 · answer #5 · answered by missy j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be glad you have him back, and have some form of decent relationship with him.
Your feelings of jealousy are pretty normal. Try making friends with the "new girlfriend." But remember, when it comes to matters of the heart (or the libido) your dad is still a man, and that means he will have very strong feelings about the person he's seeing. You need to learn to create your own relationship with him. Sounds like he's the type who doesn't take his parental responsibilities too seriously, so just remember that and his behavior will be easier to deal with.
2006-11-19 15:45:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did he kiss you. Did he p.c.. up an illustration that made him imagine you've been in touch. And to call him a jerk and ignore him and manage him terrible because he replaced right into a nasty kisser and also you probably did not favor him to kiss you. provide me a destroy. sometime karma will chew you contained in the ***. And sure you're incorrect, way incorrect.
2016-11-29 07:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he really cares about you a lot. Don't analyze things too deeply, just be glad that you have your dad back in your life. Nothing is ever perfect, especially when it involves the life choices that adults make.
2006-11-19 15:52:16 · answer #8 · answered by Sierra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe ask your dad to go on a short drive and them teell him how you feel
so that way he'll be in a good mood and u can both calmly talk
2006-11-19 15:49:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with your dad and tell him how you feel, it'll help out alot. He loves you, it shows.
2006-11-19 15:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by Maji 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋