I met my dad in May of 2005. We had a DNA test and he told me he was my dad but I didnt ask to see the results. He then quit talking to me for no reason in July of 2005. When I went to get the test results, the testing center wouldn't let me see them since I'm a minor. He has 2 other sons that he also does not talk to. I have contacted them but they seem to have very little interest in me since they hate Dad. I havnt spoken to either one since April. They seem to want to see paperwork prooving he is my dad, which I can't get. Mom (who i do not live with) is tring to get him to take another test and pay child support. I dont want the money and plan on giving him back the checks. But he wont ever show up in court. What can I do? I am 17 and I will be 18 in May. I think I will loose a lot of right when it comes to forcing him to take another test. I have already posted a letter on his door and spoke a friend of his on the phone several times.
2006-11-19 15:35:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There is one other possible person to be my dad but he died in 1992. He has an identical twin brother but mom doesnt want to upset his family if he isn't my dad.
2006-11-19 15:37:51 · update #1
The test I took is a private test. My "dad" made it where I cant see the results, even when I'm 18.
2006-11-19 15:39:02 · update #2
my question to you, is why would you want to get to know a man who is making it clear he does not want to get to know you?
he is not worth your effort.
do you have a male role model in your life? (perhaps an uncle?)
turn to him when you need guidance in your life, love him like a father... forget this man who claims to be your dad... he has obviously forgotten about you...
i really do feel for you, it must be a terrible feeling.
good luck
2006-11-19 15:45:23 · answer #1 · answered by He moonwalked on my <3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SC,
It sounds like you already have your answer, but you not seeing it. If your Father is scared that your Mother will go after him, for back child support, this can really keep him away. If your Mother wants to know if he is really the Father, the court can order this place who did the tests, to bring forward this information. Child Support agenties have the right when it comes to a minor child. At least it's that way in Florida, not sure what the law is in your state. The reason why I know this, is was so ordered to someone I know, and it came true he was the Father, it kept him from going into the service, and boy was he pissed. He was trying to escape child support, but it didn't work.
So, if the money isn't what your interested in, then have him issued with a document stating that your Mother and you aren't interested in the money.
Now, this is a little cold to say, but it has to be said, are you really sure you want to know this man? if he treats his other sons in the same way, as you, you really need to think about this.
My father passed away when I was 10, no it's not the same, but I turned out pretty good. Treasure your Mother, be there for her, and maybe rethink the knowing your Father. This reason for me saying this, I don't care what I would have to do to see my son. He is a part of me, and when he was born, I made a comment to God to give him the best I could.
But this is me, and it is really hard to walk in your shoes. I am not sure how you feel about God, but I will keep you in my prayers. God knows who you are, and that is all that matters to me.
Spend some quiet time by yourself or with a councilor and really think about this. You might find out this man is not someone you really want in your life. My Mother was my best friend until she passed away, and her thoughts and memeories are still with me to this day.
You take care, and I hope you can find some peace of mind soon.
Curt
2006-11-19 16:01:46 · answer #2 · answered by caasos 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your situation to your local child support office. They will make all possible dads take a paternity test and then you will know. Also, at that time they will make him pay back child support if needed and pay child support until you are out of school. You may not want the money but it is money your mother was due and didn't get. Your father had the responsibility of your support too. I wouldn't waste any time---call your local child support office now. It will be court ordered that he has a dna test done and you will be notified of the results.
2006-11-20 04:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by jacksonpappyswoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd think your Mom can get the test results that your Dad won't give you and if not she can take him to court and the judge will order a new one. If your Dad doesn't show up he can be arrested for failure to appear. Just because you turn 18 doesn't mean you can't go to court and get this and the child support he would owe if he is your Father. And if he is and is ordered to pay the back support you should not give it back. It was his responsibility to help take care of your needs, you deserve the money and should keep it.
Good Luck.
2006-11-19 15:43:22 · answer #4 · answered by Just Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact the Department of Child Support Services, get them involved and they will haul is butt into court. If you file papers and he doesn't show up in court you will win the case by default. Not that that will help matters but your best bet is the District Attorneys office and Dept of Child Support. They will help. If he is in fact your father, he can be liable for back child support and if I were you I would take it and use it for college and to start a good life. Use this experience to the fullest and know that you could never put your child through what your dad has put you through. You can make a difference and if he's not willing to know you then move on and be a better man than he ever will be. Good Luck in your endeavors!
2006-11-19 15:40:39 · answer #5 · answered by Carrie H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like you've done everything you could The next thing I can think of is sleeping in his doorstep and catch him when he gets home or goes out... but he could have moved. It has been more than a year.
Maybe you could try to talk to his other sons and try to soften them a bit more. Tell them that you're not your dad, you're a victim just as they are... only that they have each other for support. And it's not like you're trying to find him because you LOVE him, you just want to figure out a part of your life that's been a question mark for so long.
Hope everything turns out ok.
2006-11-19 15:48:15 · answer #6 · answered by mackenzie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you're 18 you can access the test results. If you don't want to wait until then, allow your mother to continue to fight for another test. You could also try contacting attorneys & see if they would consider assisting you "pro bono". You could also contact the attorney general to find out exactly what your rights are, & if they could possibly help. Best of luck to you!
2006-11-19 15:40:33 · answer #7 · answered by pr1ncezz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're six months from being an adult, apparently your father hasn't been a part of your life up until now, you're going to have to accept this.......you are not the problem here, he is, it's to bad you got stuck with a loser for a father but they're not all Dr Huxtables, maybe some day he'll realize what he's missing out on, but you can't force him. be patient and get on with your life, If you have children, I hope you learn from the miserable example your father is setting and you become a terrific parent, good luck
2006-11-19 15:43:40 · answer #8 · answered by Ron H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait until ur 18 then u should b able to access the results ur self. Good luck hope u find out the truth
2006-11-19 15:37:43 · answer #9 · answered by rk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I had serious problems with my birth father. My advice, as harsh as it sounds, is to forget about him. Get on with your life, and do not force the situation. You have to understand that you cannot make your dad talk to you. He has his own life, and it sounds like he can't handle the responsibility of being your dad.
2006-11-19 15:39:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋