My daughter is throwing temper tantrams?

Question

My 17 month old is throwing some of the worst tantrums. She throws herself on the floor and hits her head on the floor as hard as she can or any other hard piece of furniture. She screams, hits, bites, and scratches anyone and anything in her way. She just started stomping on the floor when we tell her NO. My question is what are some ways we can stop the tantrums or calm them down?

Answer 1

Wheh! Been there done that. The best way to deal with tantrums is try to anticipate triggers and head them off before they really get going. For instance, hunger and fatigue are two common reasons toddlers get cranky. Also, they don't like to be abruptly changed from one situation to another. Positively reinforce the good behavior and when you see something that might cause a meltdown, try to distract her with small tasks or games. If you are stuck in line somewhere, little word or singing games are helpful. If you are busy with dinner or bills, give her something similar like pots or paper and crayon, so she can mirror you. Children this age are natural helpers and will often shine at the opportunity to be a big kid. Once in full meltdown (because we all want to have a hissy fit sometime), try to stay calm, don't feel pressured by other people to "control" your child. Focus on using your most soothing and calm demeanor, and try letting her vent somewhere safe, in a pile of stuffed animals ( I had a daughter that was ahead banger and it really upset me, but she turned out ok). Don't give in to tantrums. Be consistent. Two things I also have successfully tried are baths with lots of bubbles and toys (let them pick stuff out) and a last resort has been to flop on the floor and have my own crying fit. It has yet to fail, but I can only use this one at home. lol. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Well, you're going to get as many suggestions as there are parenting techniques, but here's what works best for me. My daughter is 16 months old (with 2 much older siblings). She has this stuffed kitty that a neighbor friend gave her that she absolutely adores, probably because, unlike our real cats, this one doesn't run away from her! LOL Anyway, whenever she's getting into something that's off limits but not putting her in danger, I'll ask he nicely, "Put that back, please." If she does, I say "Thank you! Aren't you a good big girl!!" If she doesn't put it back, I tell her "No, no. You can't have this" as I take it away and put it back where it belongs. But before she can start up the tantrum, I'll say very excitedly, "Did you hear that? Kitty's looking for you!" Then I'll meow a few times while we search for Kitty. She usually forgets all about the tantrum and when we find Kitty, she's all smiles as she hugs her and I make purring sounds. If distraction doesn't work and she goes into a full blown meltdown, I'll move her to the carpet so she doesn't hurt herself, and leave her to it. Sometimes throwing a mock tantrum of my own seems to amuse her, but not always. If she comes to me for comfort, I comfort her because I really feel at this age, she doesn't have the capacity to understand her emotions, let alone control them. I'll pat her back and tell her that I'm sorry it makes her unhappy, but she's not allowed to have or do whatever it was, and that's the rule. I did this with my older kids and they grew up understanding that if it's "the rule" just give it up. As she gets older, say around 2 or so, you can introduce the time out, or just ignore the tantrums. In my opinion, she's still a little too young for that just yet. I know my little one just thinks it not fair when she can't have whatever she wants whenever she wants it and she's too little to understand why. I think the most important thing is that you stay calm. Be firm, but don't really react to it. Think about times when you've been angry because you felt you were treated unfairly. What would have calmed you down faster? Being yelled at excitedly, or spoken to in a calm and even tone? Some might argue that this is indulging the child, but you can be firm and kind at the same time. Sorry for such a long answer. I hope some of this is helpful to you, good luck!

Answer 3

Children who throw tantrums are doing so because they are not getting their needs met. If they are not throwing a tantrum because they are ill, hungry, or tired, they will throw a tantrum because it feels powerful, they get attention for it, they are testing limits, or they are simply feeling frustrated. Do your best to “head her off” before the tantrum starts.

Avoid punishing or threatening. When she throws a tantrum, do the unexpected. Either walk away from her and ignore her or move her to a quiet place (her room, the couch) and say “When you are ready to calm down then you can come back.” Say nothing more than that. This is not a time out because you are not setting a time limit (you controlling her). She returns when she is ready to control herself. Setting a time limit will not teach her self control and will only cause more anger. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Answer 4

Welcome to toddlerhood. My 18 m.o. does the same thing. I just say "ohhh your going to throw a fit" and then walk away.

Sometimes when I know I am outta sight I will watch his response. He will cry, look around, cry a little more, look around then realize he is getting no where and come look for me. Once or twice he tried to continue the fit but I would walk away again.

They are wanting attention and by coddeling or talking to them while they are having the fit...or even being near enough to let them hit and bite is just encouraging the behaviour. Don't be afraid to walk away...if she isn't getting the attention the fits will stop.

Answer 5

My friend has 17 month old twins. One of them has tantrums alot like yours does. She puts him in his playpen in time out. She put it in a room that is away from the other baby and where he can't get any attention for his "bad" behavior. He seems to calm a lot faster when he is in baby time out, takes NO more seriously now.

Answer 6

my little sister did that all the time and one day when she was 2 my mom got down on the floor and threw a tantrum with her just like she did. she stopped after that. so when i had kids and they threw tantrums i threw one with them too . they looked at me like , oh, my moms lost it, but they stopped and never did it again. i have had 7 kids and this has worked every time

Answer 7

My neice is 20 months and she tried it today. At first we kind of laughed. We just let her go on and she didn't get what she wanted until she "used her words." That's the rule. If she wants something she has to ask for it, she won't get it by crying. Children know that they can get to you and get what they want by doing this if you let it go. My parents used to leave the store with all of us kids if one of us was throwing a tantrum. kids will learn quickly if you stand your ground.

Answer 8

Well by the looks of your screen name your daughter's name is Riley...my daughter's name is also Riley and it sounds like it just must be the name!LOL! Anyway my daughter went through the same thing at that age. I just tried to ignore her (which is VERY hard) but right now she is just testing the waters and wants to see how far she can push you until you give in! Be firm... it's only a phase!

Answer 9

Its all in how you respond to her, Don't react. These are some things I did. Funny or not I did them..lol

Once AT HOME when my son threw a fit I did just what he did. He stopped and looked at me like I was nuts, then walked aways.

Latter I taped him and put it in and let him watch himself on TV.

but there came a time I hat to consistent with him. When he would though a fit I would softly pick him up and say. I know your mad but we don't acted like that and sit him in a "TIME OUT SPOT" the same spot every time. Then I would let him get up on his own and if he was acting good, right how ever you want to say it I would PRAISE him for it but if he started right in I would sit him back down.

Try not to say "NO" for example id she want to write on the wall instead of saying "NO WRITING ON THE WALLS" say "HOW ABOUT WE WRITE IN THIS SPECIAL WRITING BOOK" Keep giving her different choices she'll pick one.

But how ever you discipline be constant

From mom to mom
Bell

Answer 10

Please let me know what you learn! My son does the same thing with his head, he is 18 months. That is all he does, though. He slams his head on the floor hard, and then rolls over and cries and then it is over. I'm not sure if that is the end because he hurts himself so badly, or because we rush over to try to stop it and then soothe him, or it that's all he feels he needs to do to get his point across?