Why would a man who is in his late thirties still be living at home? Could he possibly be completely immature? I am interested in someone in this situation but unsure if I should stay away...I dont want to judge him...
2006-11-19 15:14:56 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sometimes, it's like okay - mother and son have a relationship that is a bit too tight because of the father's death, her disability, need for a companion etc... For some men, life is just so much easier and less complicated and they can help out their family. Some of these guys are just lazy bums but some of them are like diamonds in the rough. It's hard to tell, but my hubby lived with mom until he was nearly 40 and only moved out when he realized that I didn't want to become his mother and that living with her was the only thing keeping me from wanting to marry him. In any case, alot of guys in this situation just are afraid of alot of things too and just plain resist change. You're definitely facing some challenges if you get involved with this guy because at some point - he's going to have to choose between you and his family and you could get hurt - or end up with the best most loyal and loving guy ever. In cases like this - his family members can also have difficulties in adjusting to changes so you can create tension within his family too. It's good you're not judging him. I mean I ended up with the guy that was a diamond in the rough - we did go through some hard times but he's awesome now.
2006-11-19 15:22:11 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask him. Tell him to be honest. Maybe he wants to save money. Maybe he has had a bit of bad luck. You never know until you ask him. You can just be friends with him. Get to know him as friends and tell him you only want to be friends. If you decide later to be more as you get to know him and his situation, you can decide then. No hurt feelings then.
I have dated men who lied and told me they owned their own home and didn't want me to go in because the dogs peed on the rugs and the house stunk but when he called me, the number was in a woman's name, but still couldn't tell me the truth when confronted. He lived with his Mom. I also had a man who lied and told me he was picking his mom up and was waiting for her in his vehicle while he was on the phone with me. Well, this guy actually lived with her, and wouldn't let me meet her because if she found out he was dating he would be out of the will. I dropped him in a heartbeat. I wanted no part of someone who only wanted what his mother had when she died. I know there are some who take care of their parents and some who are honest to good people with hard times. Give him a chance to be at least friends.
2006-11-19 23:18:21 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trying to be fair maybe there are some issues that he has not stated to you, such as a illness in the family or he was sick, or he is helping his family look after a relative.
Outside of that I than think you are looking at someone not independent who does not show me much. If someone cannot take care of them self by the time they are in their thirties than I sure would not want to invest my time in a relationship where you may end up being their sole support.
2006-11-19 23:46:58 · answer #3 · answered by John E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time, these people were the high school bullies.
You know, the ones who got good grardes by intimating others to do their homework for them.
When they reached 18, they crawled back into their bedrooms much like a frighten little mouse afraid to come out of it's hole and look for food.
If I were you, I’d run like Hell!
You can find someone better than this.
Learn from this lesson. Quit overturning rocks and looking for what is hiding underneath when there are so many great guys out there looking for someone to love.
www.plentyoffish.com
2006-11-19 23:25:12 · answer #4 · answered by Here I Am 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try to ask him why. There might be a genuine reason -- Sick parents, or financial need for parents or something else.
Please make sure you know exactly what the reason is, and it's best to be honest and ask him that you feel it's a little unusual and wanted to know why he still stays with his folks.
If there's no good reason, and he doesn't find it to be weird, somethings not right, and I don't think you should invest any more energy or time on this guy.
2006-11-19 23:17:38 · answer #5 · answered by Kaizer Soze 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right not to judge him. There could be reasons he is still at home but none should matter if you like him. Some men just don't do well on their own and if he hasn't met "the one" yet, why shouldn't he live at home, if his parents let him?
2006-11-19 23:18:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i no a guy who is 40 and still lives at home with his mom she cant afford ta live and pay bills without him so he lives with his mom ta help her out they go half on every thing so could this be what your friend is doing helping out his parents if thats what he doing you would have a great guy in my book or he could b saving ta get his own place ask him and see what he tells you youll never no till you ask good luck
2006-11-19 23:21:10 · answer #7 · answered by Jeannie T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to judge him but then again you're not hiring for employment. If there is anything that you feel uncomfortable about him, it means you're settling for something less. You are the manager of your life and you want the best for you...we're allowed to have selfish criterias when it comes to our happiness. Would I date him? No.
2006-11-20 00:08:05 · answer #8 · answered by Craiova 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people get in tough sit...from time to time.....It is unusual for a single person to just remain at home by choice unless he is spoiled and a mooch........I hope neither is true..
2006-11-19 23:19:25 · answer #9 · answered by Brenda Soooooooooooooooooooooooo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i know of only one guy that is normal in that situation,
he stays home with his mom who needs him to be there.
2006-11-19 23:17:45 · answer #10 · answered by jawtar 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋