Holidays with family?

Question

What would you do if you had very little family and what family you do have is all screwed up? My mom and my younger brother are both drug addicts, my other brother is an alcoholic, and my dad left when I was 3 yrs. old; I am 40 now. I have 3 kids and I am divorced and my kids prefer to spend holidays with their mom who has 50 plus extended close family members who spend holidays together. The last Thanksgiving I had with my mom and 2 brothers we had burnt Turkey, mashed potatoes that were like water, and spoiled whipped cream on top of pumpkin pie. We all got sick that night. I do not have any other family and most of my friends are out of state for one reason or another. Holidays can be very depressing since I have spent the holidays alone for the past 5 years.

Answer 1

The most rewarding thanksgiving I have ever spent was the year I answered a call from a local church to help do a Thanksgiving for the needy. I found out how to get cold drinks and a dispenser from MacDonalds, veggies from the local grocery stores, asked guys and gals I worked with to donate and cook a turkey, got free rolls from a day-old store, etc. I don't go to church and didn't do much volunteering because my job was too demanding, but that year I had a great time. The church members set up the dining hall with borrowed tables and chairs, some picked up needy families and drove them in, others took cooked meals to older folks who couldn't attend.
Your family is a sad bunch and your kids have probably had some bad experiences with them. You need to get away from the whole bunch and do something to make yourself feel good. Instead of sitting alone and feeling sorry for yourself on the holidays, volunteer. Don't expect your work to get a lot of praise. Do it for your own self esteem. You'll run into people much like your own needy family, but don't let them ruin it for you. The good guys are a pretty nice bunch and they always need help. Most of us are much too selfish to take the time to help others. You don't have to be a church goer or a goody-goody type. You may run into some losers and phonies. But mostly there are a lot of lonely old people out there and single-parent families that could use a little extra from someone. Call the Salvation Army or Catholic Church, even the city offices or newspapers where you live can suggest groups. It only costs a little time.
Give it a try. What have you got to lose?

Answer 2

Don't spend the holidays with your family if it depresses you!
There are PLENTY of other things to do on Thanksgiving than be tortured by crappy food. Do you have any friends without family? I started hosting an "orphans holiday" when I was single to get out of doing the family thing. I invited friends over, made a turkey and had everyone else bring something, we watched football and life was good. I'm sure if you ask around you'd get some people interested in coming over.
If not, then look around for a local restaurant that does Thanksgiving dinner and take a date.
If none of these options work for you, then barbecue something you'd like to eat, then go out to a sports bar and watch football with other people avoiding their families.
Please try and make the holidays fun for yourself, if you have a positive attitude then you can turn lemons into lemonade.

Answer 3

WOW - that's so sad. Family can be the worst at times. On the other hand, being alone isn't great either. But, there are a gazillion homeless shelters around who probably could use an extra hand on holidays. I've often desired to go to one and help out on the holidays rather than participate in the hedonous revelry and purposeless nonsensical discussions that take place where I have to go on the holidays. What I'm getting at is that there is always someone far worse off than you and sometimes helping them out and getting to know some of them would give you some peace and help you be thankful. I've been to alot of homeless shelters and they actually offer a fantastic Thanksgiving meal that anyone could enjoy.

Answer 4

Well, my mom's side of the family doesn't get along with my dad's side. I told my mom that I'm spending Thanksgiving with my dad. She was upset. My dad and I decided to serve food or something like that at a shelter this year. I think you should do that too. I think it will make you feel better because the people in homeless shelters don't have any family to spend Thanksgiving with and you being with them and helping them out would make them feel better. Doing something nice for others is a great feeling. I can't wait to help in a shelter with my dad on Thanksgiving. Good luck.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry this is happening to you and I can sense your pain, but some people who are in your situation decide to go out and help feed the homeless. Is there someplace like this in your community? If so, you might try it because in making others feel better you will probably find yourself being uplifted in the process. The bottom line is that "people need people". Also, is it possible for you to visit one of your out-of-town friends for a few days?

I hope something good happens for you because no one should have to spend the holidays alone. May God bless you and give you peace!

Answer 6

on the Thanksgiving Dinner, we would desire to stand up and tell what we are grateful for. on the Christmas Tree, The youngest man or woman hands out each and every of the provides under the tree. Then we play 2 video games: We take turns naming occupations that artwork at night on Christmas. while its your turn in case you may no longer think of of an answer you take a seat, the final man or woman status wins.Then we play the comparable activity naming candy bars. On Halloween, We consume Pizza and get under the impression of alcohol mutually. Edit: (I even have over 250 family members contributors right here contained in the foothills of the Ozark Mountains. So on occasion we hire the VFW auditorium for Halloween.) Edit: I forgot New year's Eve: On that night we hunker down, and stay off the roads. My mom used to assert all of us pass to our very own little teepees.

Answer 7

What about spending the day volunteering to served dinner at a homeless shelter? It always makes one feel good to help others, plus it might make you feel that your life really is not so bad.