am enaged to a guy who loves me unconditionaly. He is so sweet, caring & loving towards me. We used to fight like cats & dogs last year when we were just getting to know each other. I fell in love with him early this year. We haven't been fighting ever since & he proposed to me this spring. When I was fighting with him I used to call my sis all the time & tell her my problems. Then this summer my fiance & I visited her because she lives out of state. At 1st she said It was me who had problems then the next day she said it wasn't all me it was him too.Recently my fiance said that he would have the mail go to his parents house even after we get married (now he lives with them). And he would open a checking Acct without my name in it & I would be handing over my paycheck to him. I am victim of Id theft that's the reason he doesn't want my name on the acct for 1 year. Now he has checking acct with his parents name on it. My sis thinks this whole thing is strange & she can't trust him.
2006-11-19 15:09:22 · 23 answers · asked by Hot C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well your Sis has her opinion based on all of the bad things that you told her during the rough period in your fledgling relationship with your now fiance. This is a common occurrence in families. The girls family hears all about the "rotten man" in her life because she calls them up for support when things are bad, & then she doesn't call after she has kissed & made up with him. Then she wonders why her family has such a poor attitude towards him.
ID theft is a difficult thing to combat, as you well know. Your fiance's thinking has some merit. However, once you two are married he won't be able to insulate himself from ID theft in that way. If I were you, I wouldn't be handing my paycheques over to him, he's not your keeper. I would have a personal savings account at a chartered bank, & I would talk to the bank manager, & have him put every safeguard in place on your account that they have available against fraud, & unauthorized withdrawl.
Then I would keep a minimal balance in that account, & frequently transfer surplus balances out of that account, & into a more protected & secure account, or investment.
Furthermore, I wouldn't go getting married with this person unless & until he feels entirely safe & secure in entering a PARTNERSHIP with you. His actions may give him some peace of mind but once you two are married, then he will be just as vulnerable to ID theft as you are.
2006-11-19 15:33:55 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds a little odd to me as well. I don't think that I would trust just handing over my check to my husband when the account he is putting it into does not have me linked to it at all. Why don't you get seperate accounts for the year and then get a joint one when you are ready? That is the logical answer for this part of the question.
As for the mail going to his parents house. Why doesn't he want the mail to come to the place where you both will be living? Is he hiding something??
I think you need to take a step back and slow things down some. Think about what he is telling you and cover your a$$.
Good luck.
2006-11-20 01:13:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are having your own suspicions and doubts and if that is true than maybe you should rethink marrying him. Have you tried talking about any of this with him? or asking him why the two fo you can't get an acct together? i say go with your gut if something doesn't feel right then it probably is not right. My advice would be to not rush into anything. if you really want to be with him than continue being engaged and hopefully his true intentions will be revealed. I think your sister is only looking out for your best interests.
2006-11-20 00:58:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is definitely strange and your sister was right to doubt him. What is the different to have your name in the account now or 1 year later even you was a victim if ID theft before? The only different is for this one whole year, you will be "giving" all your paycheck to him, and if he was to leave you one day, legally you have no right for the money.
2006-11-19 15:30:28 · answer #4 · answered by Tan D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your sis. Sounds to me like he is using you. You are, I assume a grown woman with a mind of her own. Why should your mail go to his parent's house? A checking acct. with his name and his parents? Is he attached to his mom and dad still? Never hand over your paycheck, there are ways to avoid adentity theft, talk to your bank. Don't ever give up your independence, he is trying to control you.
2006-11-19 15:13:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
TWO BECOME ONE
About the checking account..., don't wait on what he tells you. Tell him to change it out before you marry him. And see that he does. Why..., I am married to a 35 year old man who still has a checking account with his mom and he still hasn't changed it. I know I know. I mean think about it. I married this guy in June of this year in hopes that he would change and he hasn't. To all of it..., his mom comes first in his life. Now lets see..., how old is this guy? And why in the hell does he have a checking account with his parents??? Or even for that matter why does he want you to put YOUR money into his account when you won't even to be able to get to it. Think of this now. I know you love him..., but after all this do you honestly think he loves you??? Now I believe your sister has said something to you because she is concerned.
Now you were the one to have the problems before...., why..., and what caused them???
Now the mail will go to his parents house right? Ok..., now who would be righting him with him reading it while you wait for him to hopefully bring you yours.... And for that fact..., wouldn't a man want his mail to come to his own home. Or does he plan to for you to live with him at his parent house. I mean seriously think about this one.
Now if this is so important to you I would open my own checking account and put my money so I would have it when I need it!!!
If it is about id theft then after you open account tell them about it and tell them that you don't want anyone to pull any money out of this checking account.
Now sisters are something to always hang onto. I think that in someways you should listen to her. She must have a feeling about this and that is why she is trying to say something about it. If I was your sister I would say that this is very strange to me and I know I wouldn't trust him. Now you have to ask yourself why would your sister be so worried for you when you don't even know why. Boyfriend can be replaced but hurting your sister will always be something you will never be able to erase!!!
Take a step back and question yourself about these. If you have any doubt about your relationship I would start talking to him and asking him why this and that why and so on. If he can't answer you or gives you a stupid answer such as "I feel this will be the best for us because of...."then I would find me a hell of a boot and put it where it counts!!!
Best of luck to you
2006-11-19 19:56:52 · answer #6 · answered by Christian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound strange that he will want you to hand over his paycheque and that his mail will go to his parents. If the problem of the identity theft has been dealt with, this doesn't seem justified. There is no reason I can see that the mail would go to his parents. Tread carefully.
2006-11-19 15:37:12 · answer #7 · answered by cotopaximary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
clarify your tale on your sister, DONT only dib, as she wont pay you any recognize, only thinking your being immature approximately something small and she or he wont see the super photograph - if there is one.. in the adventure that your brother is under sixteen then he will advance out of it in yet another year or so. Then he would be attracted on your individuals - that's once you pay him returned for all those years of torture =]
2016-10-04 03:55:04 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but it sounds to me that he does not trust you with his financial stuff, and to open up account without your name on it, even though you are contributing, is really crazy.
there is no way in hell would I let his parents take control of this. think twice before you seriously think of getting married. This is just the start of the in-laws interfering.
2006-11-19 15:20:55 · answer #9 · answered by Tiffany B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"he would open a checking acct without my name in it and i would be handing over my paycheck to him"
Are you insane? No way. He's a user and you, my friend, are being taken for a ride.
Run. Run fast. Run far.
2006-11-19 15:20:12 · answer #10 · answered by jymsis 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋