Is It All In Vein?

Question

Today. November 19, 2006. My mother died 3 years ago yesterday, people are controlling my mind and there is no God. I am locked in a prison, I have created myself, by allowing myself to be controlled and carroweled into it. I have allowed myself to be used mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I have in turn, used others. I knew the times when I crossed the line by not standing up for myself. Beat myself up for it later, learned the lessons I needed to to make it to the next step. Took those steps, however small they were. Disappointed most, lived up to others stereotypes of who exactly I AM.

Tonight, this process of change has come full circle. I think I have come to terms with the answers I need to move.

Am I safe enough to lay to sleep....

But who has been affected? They can't possibly be as out of control as I am. I hope not anyway.

Answer 1

So many of us wear costumes and masks and function in the daily word when inside we are stagnant and dying. You are not alone. Please believe that. The death of a Mother is never forgotten. Mine left this earth at age 56.

Tomorrow is always another day. A chance for something better. Each day you have a choice to become stronger, better, more peaceful and grow. However, each day also requires a rededication to those aims.

Make a positive move. Don't even consider another avenue. It leads nowhere. You, obviously, have searched your soul and have the will to make positive changes and grow towards happiness and serenity. Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

You are very correct but all of us are locked in one prison or another. The winners play there game until they can't leave anymore. Their game is written in the vein on the hand. The outsider is locked outside with other good people. As time rolls on you can never change too much nor do you want to. We all have something special. If you can rise up okay be god for a while.

Answer 3

Just remember to BREATH ... I don't think u need a doctor to let u know what is right for u. And besides, I am sure u listen to all the advice you can get but decide to do however it is that YOU want. The outcome is not always what you might have expected but it was something you learned from. Stop blaming yourself. It is easy to ignore all by a smile. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense so I'll shutup.

Answer 4

If I were you, before I did anything like move, I would consult a mental health professional. Talk to a professional therapist about your state of mind.

Depression can do some pretty mean things to you, and treating the depression can help you see yourself and your world a lot differently.

Take Care.

Answer 5

I am not sure what you're asking? My mother died 26 years ago and I still miss her. I also went crazy after she died and call it my
temporary insanity period. I've abused the people who loved me most and one has not yet forgiven me. But life got better and now it's beautiful. Go to sleep and have a nice dream.

Answer 6

1. VAIN unless you are a vampire
2. What's the question?
3. That was a very good sonnet..you write well and sound very mature. Start songwriting and quit beating yourself up.
4. Every little thing you do affects others..it is up to them how they choose to react to it.

Answer 7

Before I even got done reading your post-I thought you should for sure MOVE & start over--It sounds like you need to start with taking care of yourself first. The past is the past & you need to start over.
Be brave & move away--

Answer 8

Please ring someone. A friend, someone you trust or a help line. Nothing is as bad as it seems, nothing is so out of control it can't be fixed. Talk to someone now!