I am so lost and confused and really need some real advice?

Question

Please forgive my spelling as I am crying my eyes out trying to write this. I am 21 years old . I have 2 children all ready and 12 weeks along to have anther.
They are all by the same man. He is a great father to my son and daughter. But I am not to sure what kind of father he will be to this one.
When I was pregnet with my daughter and son it seemed like he was happy. This time around it dosent seem like he cares or even wants the thing. I am not that strong of a person to take care of 3 children on my own.I want to keep the baby. But i dont know. I know I wont have a abortion. Thought about adoption.But how do I know if these people that take my child are right ? How do I get over missing every thing? I really want this baby so bad but if he dosent want to be there than I have no choice but to give it up.
How do I make that descion?

Answer 1

you would need a second trimester abortion. good luck finding someone who will do it. you might have to go out of state to get it done. too late.
you made your bed. lie in it.

i personally, am sick of these people saying things like ' it gets better ' . who does it get better for? not the unborn child who is getting all the confusing messages in womb. how will it get better when it gets here? that kid will grow up feeling unwanted for some reason he/she can't understand. how unfair to your unborn child!

learn to think with your head not your cooch!

Answer 2

First of all, no matter how much you believe you can't do it on your own - if you were to have to do that - it sounds to me that you would have a much harder time dealing with giving the baby up. But, also, sometimes men just need more time than women to grow attached - we get to feel the movements and such - they don't have all those changes going on. Or maybe he is struggling with the idea because he is worried about it financially or something like that. With my second son I was the one that seemed disconnected during the pregnancy. His father was all smiles and excitement, but I was quietly fighting a horrible internal fear that I would favor one or the other of my kids or just simply become a horrible mom altogether. Maybe you could try to talk to him and see if there is something behind this behavior? Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

Well, if you do put him/her up for adoption, you won't have to worry about the baby being taken care of, If you go through an open adoption, you pick a family that you feel comfortable with.Most families will send you pictures and write letters and let you be apart of the kids life.My parents will.They adopted me 13 years ago and I see my real mom about 1 time every 3-4 years because she lives so far away, but we still send her letters and stuff.My parents are trying to adopt again and would do the same thing.

Answer 4

i think you need to talk this over with your man. i myself would never think of ether abortion or adoption, i am 22 with a 5 year old and another due any day,2 daddys. We made the choice to have sex so now we have to comitt with it. But if you truely honestly dont think you can do this, try asking a family member or a close friend, somone you know will love the baby just as you did your own. sorry if i didnt help, i tryed. Good luck, i know you will make the right decision, no matter what it is!!

Answer 5

WoW!!! What a crisis. Can you and yo husband not talk anymore? You said" He doesn't seem???" ARE you 2 fighting? There is more to this story. Why do you think you have to make this decision by your self? Were you making a choice to leave your husband before you found out you were pregnant? Is he still being good to your son and daughter? Why are you even thinking about abortion when your married? Do you know how babies are conceived? You always have choices. Girl, do you know the Lord? He has ALL your answers. He loved you before you were born and this child too. Please don't make the choice of death before birth, I did this back in the dark ages myself. I was divorcing my husband and found myself with child. I had one son at the time. I later remarried and had three more sons. I always wanted a girl because my Mother and I had such a close relationship. I think to this day that I chose to kill my baby girl. She was to be named Patience Elly. So I chose to lay up on that table and watch them blend up my child. It was horrific. I hope I have made you think again. Girl, talk to the Lord and then TALK to your husband.

Answer 6

Sweetie do what is best for you. I know it may be easy for me to say and hard for you to hear but dnt worry abt him. If you want the child then go for it. I personally wld nt put my third child up for adoption bc if you ever decide in the future to have a relationship with him or her they will always wonder why you kept your other two kids and not them.But if that is the best option financially then that is understandable. Kids are very expensive and you are still young. Good luck and I am sure everything will work out for the best.

Answer 7

My husband wasn't exactly thrilled about our third baby either. He wouldn't go to any dr.s appointments, the ultra sounds or even touch my belly much. The newness has worn off and it just wasn't exciting for him any more.

Now that she is 10 months old it is a totally different story! She has him wrapped around her little finger! She is daddy's little girl.

I think you might find the same for you to be true. Ask him how he feels. And except his answer to be the honest truth. If he says that he feels luke warm about the baby or better then there is hope.

If he says that there is no possible he wants another baby, and you are both open to adoption, then I say look into it. I know several people that would love to adopt a baby because they can't one of their own.

Good Luck to you and the baby.

Answer 8

I dont know the details about what he is doing to make you think that, but when I found out I was pregnant with our 4th baby, my husband just didnt seem so enthused. He acted as if he didnt care, etc... Just not excited like with the others. He wasnt able to go to doctor appointments with me or anything because of his work, so he wasnt seeing much. SO then finally he got to go with me to one of my appointments and got to hear the heartbeat , etc and seemed a little more excited and then 4 days later we went to the ultrasound together and now he is very excited. We found out we are having our first girl, and he was calling everyone up and just very excited. So what IM getting at is maybe he is just not realizing it yet. It hasnt hit him. Maybe after you start to show, etc, he will be more into it. Try not to worry about it for right now. Men dont show the same emotions as we do when we find out we are pregnant.

Answer 9

"...i have no choice but to give it up." well...umm..YES YOU DO. You have the choice to keep it. Don't ever sacrifice your children for a man, if he really didnt want another child he could have been using some sort of birth control (or you could have been) But atleast your not getting an abortion, although you might regret adoption just as much as an abortion. You said it yourself "i really want this baby"

Answer 10

First of all, I think it would do you a great deal of good to sit back and take a couple of deep breaths. I know that you are in a tough situation right now, but it will be very difficult for you to make any decisions in the emotional state that it sounds like you are in. Secondly, please talk to your husband, and tell him how you are feeling. He may have his mind still on work, or preoccupied with something else. He may be worried about providing for a third child, but not necessarily with not wanting to have it at all. You also may be right on the money. But you won't know unless you sit down and talk to him about it. Good luck!