I've been dating my boyfriend for six years. He is my best friend. We have grown into mature adults and I am now 21. Since we have been dating since we were young, we haven't learned to grow older together, in other words, the gifts we still exchange are acceptable for high school dating, but now that we are older I would like a more serious committment. Don't get me wrong, we laugh, we talk, we do everything together, but I just feel he doesn't show me in the little ways most boyfriends do, that he cares about me and loves me. For example, I always pay for my dinners, movie tickets, everything I think that a man should at least sometimes pay for, I PAY FOR. it irrates me. I have talked about it with him and I have given him hints about how a girl recieves flowers at work but still, NO FLOWERS. nothing. What should I do? I want this to last but I don't want to be 26 years old and still feel like I'm in a "Puppy love" relationship. HELP!
2006-11-19 13:53:58 · 20 answers · asked by dancerchik2106 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think i made a couple thing unclear. I have had this conversation with him before and all the sudden, he wanted to take me out and he wanted to pay. But then things went back to the way they used to be. He has an amazing job. We both graduate next yr from college. He is a business major and works for my dad and makes like 16 an hour and works as a manager at my my moms place. So he makes money. That is not the issue. Also, I do not pay for him. Is it possible he is stingy? Maybe he doesn't pay for things like that. I figure maybe I should just stop suggesting to go out, maybe HE SHOULD BE THE FIRST TO SAY, "HEY LETS GO OUT TONIGHT!"...then maybe he will pay. ahhh sooo confused. HELP GUYS! all your answers are excellent
2006-11-19 14:35:34 · update #1
This sounds like a friendship, not a relationship. If you are both paying for your own, then it's more of a friendship than anything. I believe that the guy should pay first, and then the next time may be acceptable that you pay for him, such as a dinner or movie. But, if you are seriously in a relationship, then the whole splitting the bill needs to stop.
2006-11-19 14:00:22 · answer #1 · answered by Vix 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Although I can understand where you are coming from, it is nice to recieve gifts and have your meals, movie tickets etc paid for you... but at the end of the day it doesnt mean your boyfriend loves you any less.... he probably feels as though after being with you for so long that he does not need to impress you with gifts to make you love him.
On the other hand, if you are paying things for him.... you really need to knock that on the head before it becomes a serious problem, and he will just use you for your money...
good luck
2006-11-19 21:57:55 · answer #2 · answered by He moonwalked on my <3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should limit yourself to this fellow who doesn't seem to know the right way to treat a woman(I am not talking about flowers, not paying for dinner is just, plain cheap!)
trust me, these issues are bothering you for a reason, a very real reason.
2006-11-19 21:58:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, you sound like a big sucker.......or born loser! Charlie Brown probably is better off than you!
Dont get upset......I believe the ebst way to tell your bf is to TELL him in straight forward language what you want...........what you like to recieve.........n you would want him to pay for whatever you both consume or enjoy!
Since you both knew each other for so long.......you should throw your shyness, uneasiness or whatever that's holding you back to the wind. I am sure your bf will listen........stand up.........n look at you with more respect!
He'll find that you have at last grown up and become an adult............instead of that silly putty little girl who robs her piggy bank n bpays for everything!
Men........sometimes.......need to be kicked in the 'balls' to wake up!
...............unless.......of coz....if he's an Indian (no racial biase intended)............be coz in Indians' customs...... the girl has to pay the dowry...............n many girls had found that out when they dated Indian bfs who never ever pay for anything!
If your bf doesne't change after you told him......... its time to change partners..........unless you want to be a forever loser!
2006-11-19 22:06:25 · answer #4 · answered by sandy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's because you've allowed it. Look, you teach people how to treat you. You need to set the bar a little higher for him and be clear about it (no hints). If he refuses to be a man and pay for things etc..then threaten to break up with him. give him a wake up call.
2006-11-19 22:00:00 · answer #5 · answered by Mel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put your foot down & tell him he better make it known to you how he really feels or sling his hook. NO real man would accept a girl paying. he maybe just a scrounger. you would be better off without. SO find out NOW do not waste any more of your life on this miser.
2006-11-19 22:01:46 · answer #6 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it clear to him that you would prefer the dates to be 50/50. You're tired of carrying the entire relationship and would like some balance.
2006-11-19 22:45:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be upfront about it, guys don't usually pick up on small hints. We don't see little things, we pay more attention to big things or things that are presented to us in a more upfront manner.
Hope this helps,
Zach Strass
2006-11-19 21:56:37 · answer #8 · answered by Zach S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, people in relationships as long as yours usually don't send flowers anymore. You said you both have matured. But it seems only you have. I hate to break it to you, but you are outgrowing him. Its better to learn it now than five years from now.
2006-11-19 21:57:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simple, stop buying everything, before you go out next time, just say it's on you. I'm not buying.
He should have been paying all this time.
2006-11-19 21:57:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋