Tell me the funniest joke you've ever heard.?

Question

(inappropriate is ok.)

ok, when i said inappropriate, i didn't tell you to be racist!

Answer 1

Minnie and Mickey Mouse are in divorce court. The judge addresses Mickey. "So it says here in your papers, you claim Minnie is crazy". Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy. I said she's f'n Goofey!"

Answer 2

Four men were captured by canibals on an uncharted island and were about to be eaten. They asked the canibals, "Is there anyway you won't eat us? We'll do anything." The canibals thought for a minute and agreed that they would let the men go if they performed a task. They sent each of the men into the jungle to collect ten pieces of one type of fruit each. The first man returned with ten apples. The canibals said, "If you can shove all ten apples up your butt, you can go". The man started and couldn't get more than four up there. The canibals then ate him. The second man came back with ten strawberries. They told him the same thing. He got seven strawberries up his butt and then couldn't get any more up. The canibals ate him too. The third man came back with ten blueberries. The canibals again told him the same thing. He had nine shoved up his butt and then he started laughing and they all fell out. The canibals said, "Wow, you almost made it. If only you hadn't laughed. Why did you laugh anyway?" The man pointed at the fourth man coming out of the jungle with ten pineapples.

Answer 3

Two gay gentlemen were walking through a zoo. They came across the gorillas and after a while they noticed that the huge male gorilla had a massive erection. This fascinated the gay men so much they couldn't take their eyes off of it. One of the men just couldn't bear it any longer and he reached into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabbed him, dragged him into the cage and screwed him for six hours non-stop.

When he was done, the gorilla threw the gay man back out of the cage. An ambulance was called and the man was taken away to the hospital. The next day his friend visits him in the hospital and asked, "Are you hurt?" "AM I HURT?" he shouted, "Wouldn't you be? That big ape hasn't called, he hasn't written..."

Answer 4

Question and answer blonde jokes
Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Blow in her ear.

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper

Answer 5

What be the difference between Hockey Goalie and Polish Woman?

At least, Hockey Goalie has ettiquette enough to change his PADS

after every 3 periods.

Answer 6

Musa Kahn could not dial 9/11 since the eleven digit was not on the phone

Answer 7

I agree with the official greatest joke:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says: "I see millions of stars, and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."


Holmes replies: "Watson, you idiot. Somebody stole our tent ..."

Answer 8

Hey Lex and Contessa-those jokes are hilarious!

Answer 9

Wow, nice way to get a few free laughs eh? Only i guess it does cost five points.

Answer 10

3 tampons are walking down the street. An old lady walks up beside them. Which tampon says high first?

None of them. Their all stuck up *****! :)