Funny Answering Machine Messages...whats yours?

Question

The president is not in his/her office at this time. Please leave your number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.


Thanks for calling the psychic hotline. I'm not in my office right now, but leave your number and what you think of when you hear the following: orange, mother, unicorn. Also, leave me a brief history of your childhood. Thank you.


Hi, this is YOUR NAME's refrigerator. The answering machine eloped with the tape deck so this is my job for a while. Leave a message and I'll stick it to myself so that YOUR NAME receives it promptly.


This is you know who, I'm you know where, leave your you know what, you know when.


Hi, now you say something.


This is not the pizza place, so please do not leave an order or Luigi will come after you again. Jeez!


YOUR NAME's palace of pleasure. If you are a man/woman, leave your phone number and a brief description of yourself. If you are a man/woman hang up the phone and don't call back. I'm not gay.

Answer 1

I am Hispanic and I have a Hispanic accent. So once I put a message on my machine that sounded just like Cheech Marin of the Cheech and Chong days.

I said "Hey Man, what yu doin?! There is nobody at home, man. The door was locked... but I found a window open.. yu want to leave a message, man? Hey, good talking to you, man. I gotta get back to my work, before they come home.."

Not knowing about my message, my mom called me. She listened, was real quiet... then she tells my brother, "there is someone in Joe's house, I don't think he is there... some foreigner, I think."

I quickly had to tell my brother that it was me, and shortly after that, I deleted the message.

Answer 2

Hi. This is (BLANK): If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. Hi this is BLANK. If you are an ex-boyfriend/girfriend, suck it up and move on. If not, I do have a life that is obviously being used so leave a message and if I have time, ill try to squeeze you in. Hi. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone is home, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message. hi you've reached the home of (name) also known as 007 agents if you get this machine we are probably saving the world this tape will self destruct in 5...4...3...2...1... (BEEP) Hi! Jan's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Answer 3

here are some funny ones me and my friends think up of and have used.


hey, too bad im not here right now, but you know why, becuase im probably doing something funner than talking to you any ways, yep, sorry, youre pretty darn boring so how bout this, just go away and leave a message after the cuss word *BEEEEP*



or, (in a sinister voice)

well well well, you finnally called, well guess what, this little cat named fulffy here *meow* is tied to an electric chair, and if you dontleave a message, then fluffly *MEEEEOOOW* will get all 6bajillion olts of electricity, so for fluffy's sake *MEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW* you better leave a message.
its pretty funny on some of the messages we got,
like:
um, theres not really a message to leave, but i couldnt tell if that was fake or not
or
im callin animal abuse



they dont seem to funny now but the are

Answer 4

i like just going hello? and pausing, and then u hear the guy answer as if he's talking to a person, then u wait a while and say leave a msg so the guy feels stupid


or if ur italian, or could imagine an italian accent

i'm in u.s. if you message me, i'll message u back

with italian accent sounds like: i'm ina u ***, u massage me, i massage ur back

Answer 5

Mine says, "you called the number, you know what to do, leave a message!"

Answer 6

Those are pretty good. Mine says Hello then a pause, how are you pause, really, well leave your name and number and i will get back to ya

Answer 7

Hi youve reached YOUR NAME and YOUR PARTNERS NAME were busy right now. YOUR PARTNERS NAME likes to do it up and down and I like to do it side to side nice and slow so leave your name and number and we will call you back when were done brushing our teeth.

Answer 8

mine used to say "you have reached the winter of our discontent, leave a message at the tone"

Answer 9

Mine says we are not availabe leave a message if you do we'll call you back if you don't we won't.

Answer 10

you took that from a website, or game from addicting games, well at least "hi, now you say something" mine is
if we don't answer the phone we are probably yelling