what should i do to feel better about it or how should i feel?

Question

as far as i could remember, i think when i was 4 years old, my mom would phisically abuse me almost on a daily basis. she'd beat me so hard that i constantly had bumps and bruises all over my body. she would warn me to not tell my father or i would get it again. so i never said anything of course. it was not until age 13 that or 14 that she stoppped becuz i was getting stronger and i pushed her back off me and told her to stop. i am 32 years old now and she died about 7 years ago. when she did die i was sad of course becuz she is my mother but at the same time i felt she was never really a good mother to me. i'm not sure how i should feel about this but it pops in my mind sometimes.

Answer 1

forgive yourself and forgive her....then you will be at peace

Answer 2

This is one of the saddest, and most difficult problems that faces abused children. Yes, you are sad because she was your mother, but that small part of you inside, that is still a child, remembers the way she hurt you, and you're happy that she can't hurt you any more. What you are feeling is a normal reaction. Very normal, and very common. But even though she died several years ago, and even though you are now 32, it isn't too late to get some help in dealing with this situation. A therapist can help you work through it. Believe me, it's worth doing, because it doesn't get better or go away all by itself. And you have many, many happy years ahead of you, that don't need to be spoiled by a ghostly and ghastly memory.
Please give yourself the peace you deserve.

Answer 3

My parents were abusive also. My mother would chase us around the house with a wire hanger hitting us, and my father was sexually abusive to me. When my dad died, I didn't feel anything. When my mom had a stroke and went into a nursing home, I still don't feel much. I visit her and when she starts with the put downs, I just tell her, see you later. I'm 50. I don't know if you're supposed to feel anything. Death is the ultimate payment. Just know that you are not alone.

Answer 4

I would say that everything you feel is normal if this is what you went through with her.But deep down you still have some respect for her because she was your mother.Accept the fact that she can no longer bring you anymore pain,that part of your life is over and now it's time to forgive and forget.I hope that when you think of this you can use it to be a better parent yourself.

Answer 5

That sounds really bad, I'm sorry for you having had to deal with that.

Not easy to get past something like that. If even possible. A good therapist and good friends could help maybe.

Remember, its always ok to feel whatever you do. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You should feel however you do feel.

Answer 6

you should seek therapy or see a psychiatrist... there is nothing wrong with seeing a doctor about your thoughts and feelings towards your mother. That's why they are there. Good luck with this...

Answer 7

well you have a thing called mixed emotions ,it common now and days ,no i cant tell u from personall exp,but me personally i woud have mixed emotions and thats probally best.i would also withdzadzas answer 2 so there.

Answer 8

that's sad, but you can go to a psychiatrist and try to get help. things like that cannot be forgotten.

Answer 9

Go talk to a counselor.

Answer 10

I agree with dzadza.