Recently, a peer of mine suffered the tragic loss of her older brother. I knew him personally, although we were not close. I hung out with him casually maybe once or twice awhile back, but I still feel it would be appropriate to pay my respects in some way. Both the wake and the funeral are open to the public, and I am sure that I know others who will be at the funeral, but am unsure if they will be at the wake. Being that I do not know the family, and was not close to the deceased, which is more appropriate to attend?
2006-11-19 12:38:51 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
In case it was unclear, I am not going to support a friend who has lost her brother. I'm not close with the girl herself. I simply knew the deceased. The wake is on Monday, where as the funeral is on Tuesday, they are not consecutive.
2006-11-19 13:15:24 · update #1
most deffinitley a wake, it is a lot less depressing. A funerall if for people that are close to the deaceased one. Im sorry for the loss.
2006-11-19 12:41:41 · answer #1 · answered by jakesokool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should attend your friend's brother's wake to share your memories and pay your respects to your friend's family. Since you are not very close to the family member, it wouldn't be very appropriate to attend the funeral. Funerals are for family and close friends and associates. I have been to enough wakes and funerals. I usually attend funerals if I was very close to the deceased and the family, otherwise just attend the wake and pay your condolence and partake in the reception.
I am sure that your friend will appreciate your presence at the wake and be great comfort. He will be very busy greeting friends and family members, he probably wouldn't notice if you were not a the funeral.
2006-11-19 13:05:00 · answer #2 · answered by Contessa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Afraid I must disagree with the other answerers. I think you should attend the funeral and not the wake. The funeral is appropriate for paying your respects to the deceased. The wake is for family and close friends to mourn. If you attend the wake, you will be constantly confronted by family members wanting to know who you are, and why you're there. If you attend the funeral, which is more formal, you'll be more accepted as an aquaintance paying your respects.
2006-11-19 12:56:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is pretty much custom that wakes are held following the actual funeral..i.e. going to cemetery.etc.. People are then invited to where ever for a wake of sorts, where a light meal may be served with coffee and drinks. This is usually a way for the bereaved family to thank all those who attended. It also offers an opportunity to pay ones respect to the family by offering condolences. I think wakes are nice cause theres usually alot of laughter and reminiscing about the deceased.You know , remembering good things about the person. At any rate , good luck.. my sympathies to you on the loss of your friend.
2006-11-19 12:58:31 · answer #4 · answered by louise t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe I would rather choose to attend the funeral because the wake is generally more of a private affair with the people and family. To pay your respect at the funeral is very appropriate and show your compassion for their loss.
2006-11-19 12:52:48 · answer #5 · answered by montralia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wake. Funerals are for closer friends and family.
2006-11-19 21:40:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funeral. The wake is to pay respects to family, chat with them, etc.
2006-11-19 13:48:40 · answer #7 · answered by ♥gingeylynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
attend the wake, not the funeral. Good luck
2006-11-19 12:46:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the wake.
2006-11-19 13:26:49 · answer #9 · answered by Kabu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wake funerals are for family and close freinds and are very dramatic
2006-11-19 12:40:57 · answer #10 · answered by damnitjannet09 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋