How to tell my daughter?????????

Question

That her dad is moving out and has filed for divorce?She is almost 6 years old?He wont be around much after the divorce because he wants to experience single life so he says how do i explain this to her?read previous post on reason for divorce???

I have a mind to force my soon to be ex. husband to tell her!and explain!

Answer 1

This is more or less what I told older my daughter when I filed for divorce. She was about 6 at the time. My younger daughter was too little to understand what was going on.
You're a big girl now and that's good, because there's some things I need to tell you that a girl littler than you won't understand.
Dada and I love you very much, and we love being your parents. That will never change.
Now things between me and Dada are different. There are many things in a marriage that has to work to make it a good marriage. Dada and I have worked on these things for a long time, but they aren't working like they should. That means the marriage between me and Dada isn't working right and it's time to do things differently.
Do you know what divorce means? It means when people get un-married.
This means that Dada is going to live somewhere else so sometimes you live here with me, and sometimes you live with Dada in his new house.
We both still love you a lot and that will never change. Dada and I are going to be happier with this arrangement because we won't be around each other so much so we won't fight. Now we can focus on everyone being happy, especially you and your sister!

This was 6 years ago. She did good with that speech and is still doing well.

Answer 2

This sounds very emotional, and I'm so sorry. You say he won't be around "much" after the divorce. Will he agree to see her at all? Please encourage him to, and facilitate whatever he will do. No matter how good a mother is, you will never be able to make up for her not having a father (believe me, I know).

You two should probably tell her together, and present it as neutrally as possible. Tell her what will be happening (i.e. you and mommy will stay living in the house, daddy will get an apartment and will see you every Tuesday afternoon, or whatever). Just make sure that whatever he agrees to do he actually does. If it's only one lunch a month, at least he should live up to it.

You need a lot of support for your feelings right now. Get some. Don't let your daughter know how much you're hurting, it's too big a burden for her. It's terrible what has happened, but this is the way to protect your daughter.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry that you and your little girl are experiencing this, but I really believe you can handle it well. Kids are very resilient and she'll handle it if she sees that you are. Therefore it's really important that you try and stay positive, not just as a show, but for real-even though this might not be what you want at all. That positiveness includes the way you talk about her dad. She needs to know that both of you love her very much and that both of you are lovable and that she's right to love you both.

Kids usually know more than we give them credit for so explanations that mom and dad are now going to live apart might be actually answer unspoken questions. It's hard to know.

I have a few suggestions. First, as tempting as it would be to have her dad tell your daughter-your motivation is more "punishment" for him and that's a bad place to start. Your priority in this instance needs to be what's going to make it easiest for your daughter. If you can tell her together, that's ideal. If you have to tell her alone, be simple and honest. I think some of the previous answers have given good suggestions about what you can say. Children don't need lots of detail, but they do need opportunities to share their thoughts and feelings and so even after you've told her, you might want to find ways over the following days and weeks to check in that she's understood and doesn't have any questions. Giving her permission to be unhappy, angry, questioning, etc is important.

Also, don't promise anything in terms of her dad, unless he's made that promise himself. If she asks how often she'll see him you can say, "I don't know. He loves you very much, but I'm not sure how often he'll be here" or whatever. Being honest now and having her have to deal with it is far better than having her with her hopes up all the time.

And please remember that you can't control him or what he does, you can only control yourself and set a good example for your daughter-loving her, supporting her, taking care of yourself, etc.

I'll pray for you and your daughter! God bless you.

Answer 4

Just tell her the truth; don't say bad things about her father, no matter how tempting it is, and don't make your soon-to-be ex do it. Do it with the sensitivity that you would want if you were in her place; don't use her as a weapon even now. Make SURE she understands that NONE of it is her fault; as illogical as it seems, many young children believe that they are responsible for their parents' split, and that if they are "better" that things will go back to the way they were. Don't make a huge deal out of it, just stick with the facts. Be aware that she may need to grieve, even at this young age, and make sure she also understands that you and her father still love her, and will always be sure that she is taken care of.

Answer 5

> "my daughter is pregnant lower back." You daughter used up all your effective after the 1st one, do no longer you think of! If she won't be able to take care of the 1st toddler, the place did she get the thought that it extremely is not any "huge deal" if she has yet another one at the instant? it extremely is how cats and dogs breed, in step with instinct and organic biology. precise now, i do no longer see plenty difference. Her biology is outpacing her "consumer-friendly experience" and adulthood. Do you think of you're allowing this subject in some way? i could propose you have a communicate with lots of the communities that do planned parenthood and get some innovations and suggestion on the thank you to take care of to this. in the experience that your daughter's long selection plans are to stay "bare foot" and pregnant, why does she ought to return to college? it extremely is not any huge deal, grandma will huge up the slack! would not grandma have her very own young ones to enhance (or has raised)? i'm sorry it extremely is selfish! another question, the place the hell is the daddy? different than being the sperm donor, what does he carry to this occasion?

Answer 6

It is very important NOT to make your little girl have to "decide" between loving Mom or Dad. Children are very resilient and can absorb good, honest info like a sponge. Be completely honest and up-front with her. If she discovers later that either parent has lied for their own appearance sake she will be resentful forever. Good luck with a horrible situation which has no winners.... only losers. Just make certain that your daughter isn't the loser to start.

Answer 7

Your right....have your soon to be x explain......however you should look at what will be best for your 6 year old.
The two of you should be talking to her together.
Its very hard on the children at the time.....but only you can make sure she is going to be taken care of no matter what......she needs to know that, she needs to know this is not her fault, and that both parents really love her and always will.....if you can reassure her that you are going to make some changes to your family however everything will still be OK........if you can say all of that, she may take it hard at first, but she will be OK.....

Make sure she comes first in all of this.....
Take care.....all the best to you and your little girl.........

Answer 8

I recomend getting a counsler to help broach this with her. By all means DO NOT LET him tell her. If he can walk out on her life, he can do it damaging as well. my best friends mother did that to him when she left his father and the mother told him it was all his fault so that y friend wouldnt try and come find her later on in life. now hes pretty screwed up. i dont know your husband, but if he can just walk out on a 6year old daughter, id be wary of how he would handle it.

Answer 9

You should just tell him that he is going away in a business trip.
Or you can just tell your daughter that its all okay and that you guys will move on.Never regret you decision.You did what was best for her and maybe (cause I dont know you) you were just to good for him.There is always that right person for everyone.I am a mom and i am also divorced and i got married with my last boyfriend before i met my husband.If there was someone for me there should be someone for you.Dont cry about it or get depressed because you can move on its just you sayin that you're gonna move on and be independant.

Answer 10

You just have to do it! Explain to her it's not her fault. Go to the library & find a childrens book on divorce & read it to her. Just be truthful to her. You make sure to give her alot of attention and comforting when he leaves. Tell him for me that he sucks!