I just graduated from college (so I'm ramen-eating poor), and I do not have the money to seek professional help... I feel like I'm depressed severely (and no, I'm not going to do anything stupid). Can anyone help me? Thanks.
2006-11-19 12:35:46 · 12 answers · asked by Tasha 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I do not have post-partum depression, but the reason I am depressed and angry all of the time is because my husband does not do ANYTHING! He works, comes home, plays video games, goes to bed. I just had a baby, and not that I do not enjoy it or anything, I take care of her, like she's MY child. My husband loves her to death, and plays with her, but will not take care of her. I feed her, bath her, change her (unless I ask him), dress her, the whole works... He doesn't hold her, because according to him, she doesn't like it because she squirms... He's the nicest, most loving guy I've ever met, but he's NOT involved at all with taking care of her. I wish I had known this before having a child.
The problem is that I love his personality, he's a hard worker at work, but is not involved with her or household functions/chores.
Any thoughts? Thanks!
2006-11-19 12:51:41 · update #1
Tammy, above is my problem. Thank you, I appreciate it.
2006-11-19 12:53:40 · update #2
He says that I don't work, but I am SO busy ALL day, I take care of our sweetie all day, clean, then when he gets home, I have to make him dinner and cater to his needs... He says that I should, because "I don't work." GRR.
2006-11-19 12:56:14 · update #3
Hey Tasha, you are in the best time of your life. Just ask me I am 68 and still poor. Remeber a man or woman who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination
2006-11-19 12:40:18 · answer #1 · answered by captncluise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh can I relate! Went thru all of what u spoke of, and YES I WAS DEPRESSED ALSO!!!!! So one evening when my daughter was 5 months old, I told my husband I am going to a hotel, told him what hotel and that I would be back in a day or 2, well he started making all excuses had to work etc, I told him to take a day off or call in sick! I needed just to be alone and I went. Well guess what when I came home he was a mess, he had worked his butt off!! From that day on he never said I didnt work, and when I asked for help, or told him I needed a few hrs. out with a friend he was more than willing to help, guess he didnt want me to go to a hotel again! And my depression was gone, because I got a break now and then, had other adult contact. U R A GREAT MOM! But u r a person also and getting depressed in no way makes u a bad mom, it means you r in need of some time for u! Adult contact and conversation is important with a good friend or family member, even if it is once a week for 1 to 2 hrs. u will feel so much better, which makes u even a better mom and wife. Your husband is not aware that u r working all the time, and not only is he done after work, but during work he has adult contact, etc. He has no clue! But someway u have to make him have at least a 24 hr. day doing all u do, u will see how much he will appreciate u, and w be glad to help and give u some u time. Hope this helps, and dont feel guilty u r a mom but a person who must have a life also u deserve it.
2006-11-19 15:29:15 · answer #2 · answered by bodacious baby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be able to get help from your county mental health clinic. You shouldn't discount the possiblility of post partum depression since you did just have a child. Also, if you are not breastfeeding your primary care doctor could prescribe some medication that might help.
If you are not working outside the home, your job is taking care of the baby, the husband and the house. It would be nice if your husband were to help you in caring for the baby, but you can't change him. He will change if/when he decides he should. In the meantime, try asking him for assistance with specific tasks. Please change the baby, please bathe the baby, here's a bottle can you feed her while I clean the kitchen.
Stay at home mom is hard work. Try joining a mommy's group and ask them for advice. You might even be able to trade babysitting services so you get some time to yourself during the day. That can go a long way to helping you feel better.
And I'm glad to hear that you're not planning on doing anything stupid, but don't let lack of money stop you from seeking professional help. Where there's a will, there's a way.
2006-11-19 13:30:25 · answer #3 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can totally see your point! This kid is totally dependant on YOU! You have to plan every single last little detail of your day (down to bathroom visits) around this wonderful child that you adore! There is nothing wrong with wanting a little break when he gets home. I think some guys have it in their minds that stay home moms are like Peg Bundy and that is SO not the case!! There is so much to do! If he can have time to play video games, you should have some "me" time too and you should get it! I don't think you need professional help at all! I think you just need a break and a little time to yourself! Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Exercise and eating right help my mood a great deal. You can take the baby walking with you and when the weather is bad maybe go walking in a mall. Personally I like to exercise alone without pushing a stroller because I don't have one of those nice jogging strollers.
Take care of yourself!!! Hopefully you can get it all sorted out!
2006-11-19 13:18:33 · answer #4 · answered by Georgia Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a stay at home is the hardest, most demanding, most important job there is. Not only that, it is a 24/7 job that doesn't pay a cent!
I just want to give you credit where it is due. Being a mother is very hard work! It drives me crazy when men pull that whole "you don't work" thing. The fact of the matter is, he probably could not handle the job you do every single day.
2006-11-19 15:07:36 · answer #5 · answered by Jess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to contact a mental health clinic. If you have a low income they will treat you for free. You need anti depressants. It may be short term, often students get depressed due to the stress of studying so hard.
Also you need to eat a balanced diet with fruit and veg. Exercise helps too. Try just going for a walk everyday somewhere peaceful.
2006-11-19 12:40:30 · answer #6 · answered by JAM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're having a extreme episode that should be addressed. in case you have had a recent drugs substitute then sure you may touch your healthcare expert. yet another decision could be to admit your self to the community scientific institution for commentary and stabilization. The scientific institution is amazingly style in those form of circumstances and oftentimes save you there for 40 8 hours or until you request a early launch. in case you choose for assist you additionally can call a disaster line which could direct you to care and assist you agree a number of your under pressure ideas.
2016-11-25 20:27:17 · answer #7 · answered by ciprian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself sometime. You just graduated and you feel like everything isn't coming together yet. Also you have to now face being a goofy adult. Rome wasn't built in a day. Set a goal and work toward it. Remember the fun is in the journey.
2006-11-19 12:46:47 · answer #8 · answered by muggsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
his mind could have gone bye-bye guys don't know how to get back in the life they had and so they invest it in the child and betray the facts that they are being observed but detached. he's either got some body else or there could be other factors that make compromises of the mind he's only particlly aware of you
2006-11-19 13:07:53 · answer #9 · answered by bev 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We don't charge and we know it all. You are going to join a church or something and get a spirit lover for free and learn baby stuff and housekeeping and sharing. Hubby has to worry about the bills. At least you have a buddy at all times. Any questions? Oh its called the mask of society.
2006-11-19 13:08:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋