why guys are scared to be in relationship with person with kids?
lets say me,? i am a hardworker, wonderfull mother, perfect friend, and just nice person, + very pritty. But as soon as i told them i have two kids they just runaway from me? Why?
i am not asking to take care of my kids, they have me and my ex-husband for taking care of them.....so why guys dont like that? all I ask is to Respect my kids, that is all.
Thanks.
2006-11-19 12:32:31 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Most guys think that they'll have to take on the responsibility of taking care of you and your kids and it scares them. They dont want that. Even though you tell them you dont want that from them, they dont hear it. There are men out there and wont care you have 2 kids, but they are few and far between. I myself have a son from a previous relationship and I have found a man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I never thought anyone would want me because of me having a son, but I have. He considers my son his, and I couldnt be more happier with him. All I can say is, dont look too hard. Eventually you'll find someone who will respect you and your kids. Dont just jump into a relationship. Be friends first. That way he can get to know you and your kids. Best of luck to ya!
2006-11-19 12:39:33 · answer #1 · answered by PfcsBaby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I am going to say that most single men with no children are scared of the responsiblilty of some other mans kids. It is very difficult and the right one will come along but in the mean time your kids should always no matter what come first. Men are funny and are afraid to grow up so maybe growing up and having children means the end of their childhood or just have to have a great job and they will feel they have to take care of the children even if they are not his, and that man you should keep, he will be the perfect father.
2006-11-19 12:42:01 · answer #2 · answered by twinki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 40 and free of children. I am on the opposite side of the spectrum; I don’t want children, at all. It is hard to find women that feel the same. I used to only date women with children, so they won’t pressure me into having them. I was wrong, they all want more children. It also appears that they all have mothers whom want more grandchildren.
My former spouse has three children. If you didn’t know her you would think she was a good mom. But the truth be known, she was horrible. I have dated three other women with children. Not one of them were good mom’s by any measure. I would not every consider someone in your situation, because of my past experiences. I am not saying you are not a good mom. What I am saying is, myself, and most every other man, has already dated a handful of bad mothers. No man wants to go though that.
Most, but not all men, look for one thing in a woman; They want a “trophy”. Well, a “trophy” that comes with two little “trophy’s” that belong to some other man, won’t stroke his ego. Sorry to say that.
Good luck.
2006-11-21 12:17:39 · answer #3 · answered by Marvin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's still intimidating and doesn't suit everyone I guess. Especially if the man's young and childless, he still might not be comfortable with children in the process of leaving childhood behind. In college, young single moms have been exemplary friends and can really be appreciated. There's also the idea that the kids are a little selfish of your territory as well. It's a tight triangle to think about
2006-11-19 12:38:44 · answer #4 · answered by Nate L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you have kids with no husband is the number one, most reliable warning sign that a relationship with you would a horrible mistake....that's why.
You may be the exception to this rule but I highly doubt it. And few men who know better will give you the benefit of the doubt. It will take INCREDIBLE effort on your part to counteract the WELL DESERVED stigma involved with this.
2006-11-19 12:37:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would tell them right away about your kids, and if they run you don't need them in your life and neither do your kids. Some people, men and women alike see it as a huge commitment to even caually date someone with kids...it's too much to deal with, and some just aren't 'kid people'. Good luck....When you meet the right guy, he will love you for you and YOUR KIDS. Hang in there.
2006-11-19 12:38:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't want to fall in love with you AND your kids, then if things don't work out EVERYBODY loses. He gets more hurt than just from losing a woman. The kids get hurt too. Nobody wants to hurt children.
2006-11-19 12:48:49 · answer #7 · answered by musemessmer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋