is it right for my mother to tell my boyfriend he cant see his son?

Question

i'm only 16 and am still living with my parents, they hate my boyfriend, but that cant change the fact that hes the father of my child. He hasnt supported me with money, which I agree with them that he should be, but he was there for me and still wants to be with me and the baby and they told him that he isnt aloud near me or the baby, can they do this? is it right? what can I do?

i would move out on my own, but i am paying for all my medical bills.

Answer 1

One thing overrides *everything* else ... more important than your parents' anger, more important than whether they hate your boyfriend, more important than your boyfriend's "rights" to see his child, more than your "right" to see your boyfriend. The first question everyone needs to ask at all times is WHAT IS BEST FOR THE CHILD?

The child is not a piece of property to be used as a pawn because your parents hate your boyfriend.

If the boyfriend really wants to bond with the child, that is, in the long run, a good thing for the child (unless your boyfriend is an ax murderer or something). The alternative is that the child grows up without knowing his father at all. It sounds like your boyfriend is at least *trying* to bond with the child and in the long run that is MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY. If prohibited from seeing the child, he may just stop trying and leave ... your parents may say "good riddance" ... but in the long run, they just cost your kid the chance to have a father. They are understandably angry, but it's not about their feelings, and it's not just about your welfare, or who they want around their daughter ... it's about doing the right thing for the child.

Child support is a very important thing, but it's a secondary thing here relative to the actual human contact. Child support is not a "fee" for visitation rights.

Can they do this? Since you're a minor, they have a lot of rights over who *you* can see, and they can make decisions on your behalf, over your child.

Is it right? I don't think so ... but then, I don't know your boyfriend, they do.

What can you do? Keep talking to them (don't stop trying ... your baby needs you to keep trying). But legally? Probably nothing. You're a minor. But it's possible that *he* can do something ... sue for visitation rights (it depends on the laws of your state). I believe that technically they can prevent him from seeing you, but not from seeing his son.

Good luck to you, kid. It's a tough situation.

Answer 2

No they can't forbid him the right to see his child. Doing this will only drive him away from the child and ensure the kid will grow up without knowing his biological dad.

How old is he? Is this part of the issue? If he is significantly older than you they may feel that his relationship with you was a crime.

Say (hypothetically) your bf is 38. In some places that would make what he did rape and your parents would think he was a pervert. As a rule, parents try to keep perverts away from their children.

Ask them why they want him to stay away. Stress you want what is best for the baby and have them explain. Maybe you can find a common ground....unless the guy is 38 in which case he's a predator and lucky they didn't have him locked up.

Answer 3

Whether you live with your parents or not, they cannot keep your bf from seeing your baby! Especially if you're okay with it! It's great that he wants to be involved in his child's life, and your parents should see it like that, and stop trying to keep him away. Yes, maybe you both made a mistake by having a child so young, but it seems like you're mature enough to handle this, and your son shouldn't have to suffer. Maybe if he started to contribute more financially, your parents would feel better about it. Maybe they just view him as another "dead beat dad" right now, and they need to see him step up and be a man. Talk to him. Work together to figure this out. Whatever you do, don't keep that baby from him unless there's a major reason, like abuse or something like that. All children need their fathers if the fathers are willing to be positive role models. Good luck with this. I hope everything works out for you!

Answer 4

i agree it isn't right- the lil' one should have the chance to bond with his father as for child support- mostly young teens don't have jobs- cause their in school & don't have money- ' You can't get blood from stone'

Him trying to be part of this baby's life is a good start.. trust me I'd rather my daughters biological father would see her more.. he pays support monthly, but maybe see's her twice a year.. ( she's now 15) I was 16 when she was born...

The bonding- not the money is important-
Your parents are angry right now- just explain to them- you might be the grandparents but your his mother- & no matter what they do- this guy will alwayz be his father..

Aske them if ' when my son grows up and asks for his father"
Do you want me to tell my son that grandma & grandpa said that your dad can't see you& therefore you have no father ..

Answer 5

Yes they can do this as long as you are living under their roof being supported by them. I don't for a minute believe your boyfriend if FULLY supporting you or the baby. I suspect that it was your parents who paid for the birth of the child. At any rate if you don't like the rules they have set in your home you do have the option of moving out on your own having to pay your own bills, pay for your own groceries, having to pay your own medical costs as well as those costs for your child since I doubt very much your boyfriend could afford to do that. Besides the support you get from him is STRICTLY and TOTALLY for the baby's care not your's. I suggest you comply with the rules your parents set down if you don't want to be on your own.

Answer 6

even though you are 16 there is nothing they can do. i don't think they should be complain to much too many young fathers will say it's not theirs and leave the fact that yours is still there and wants to be the baby's life is wonderful. but since you are a single mother if you have a job you can try to emancipated and try applying for hood aproved houseing. i hope that i helped you some.

Answer 7

I think it depends if he was over 18 when you had sex then he is guilty of statutory rape. If he is the same age as you though then he probably does have rights. You should work out custody and visitation with the courts, where they will also require child support to be paid. If he hasn't gone to the courts then he can't complain because he hasn't taken resposibility for his actions.

Answer 8

Legally, NO not without an order and that would want to must be done by court and issued out of solid reason. very last I checked not liking yet another woman being with your ex isn't solid sufficient reason to guard a legal determination to save you remote from the youngster. NOW she will be able to favor this and that i as a mom with ex-husbands who've had girlfriends and better halves can understand this besides the undeniable fact that with adulthood I realized the finest way is to include them in public and if I have concerns or topics both vent them to someone close to to easily me OR have a civil and non-accusatory discuss my concerns with the daddy. yet you're likely lifeless good that her difficulty is OUT OF JEALOUSY and by no potential something else. attempt being valuable to her as a lot as you may. tell her what a tremendous interest she is doing with the youngster and how a lot you're taking excitement in being round him. that is hard besides the undeniable fact that the former adage, "You capture extra flies with honey," OMG that is soooo authentic and extremely your dropping not something because it takes a lot less potential to be valuable AND your being the grown up and hey that is going a lengthy lengthy way IF she ever tried to flow the legal course, she'll be considered for what she is and also you'll look like mom Teresa! She may worry the youngster calling you mom and no matter if that is her first it really is comprehensible. yet purely assure her you ALL recognize who his mom is and also you purely savour being waiting to be a "enormous" chum to him and that you purely favor him to truly savour his time consisting of his father. If it facilitates even as dad has him perhaps enable them have as a lot on my own mutually time for now as conceivable. It takes a huge human being to do all this besides the undeniable fact that it would want to flow far to ease the rigidity. at the starting up she will be able to imagine she is getting HER way and so will you, yet when that is YOUR idea and YOUR gesture then SHE had not something to do with it extremely and also you flow on about your employer. i can inform you in case you pick to argue and strive against you'll look as stupid as she does AND your boyfriend, searching on what kind of human being he's, will both get sick of the drama and drop you all, leaving his son because the authentic sufferer OR he will imagine he's the middle of ya'lls universe and nicely a dude with a huge ole ego IS depressing to attempt to stay with!!!!! Do the right ingredient for the kiddo and if it doesn't exercising consultation for you and the boyfriend a minimum of you'd be good with GOD!

Answer 9

WOW sounds like what's going on with me and my baby right now but you know what that's your ki and not there's they can't keep him away from the baby if he wants to be part of his life then let him but talk to him about giveing you money to help out when he can that's what i do with my little ones dad

Answer 10

your mom is probably just concerned for your well being it sounds like you havent always made the best choices your mom should not keep the babys dad from seeing his child so long as he is not abusive in anyway but she has every right to not allow him in her home.