what can you do if you no that your parents were partly responsible for the problems i have today?

Question

i have psychiatric problems, my mum was very over protective, and i got everythin i wanted as a kid, but sometimes i think they might of been responsible by being to controling...i couldnt mix either at school and eventually dropped out i was taunted and bullied to..now im 29 im trying to work my way through things and make sense of the past, i was sexually abused at 8 years old too..

Answer 1

You can either continue to let them victimize you, or show them and all the world you are not the person they have treated you like...You can forgive them and get on with your life...or let them haunt and torment you for another fifteen years...the choice is yours...Many people have lived through similar lifestyles, and tortures..and came out above it...if you research a site called,..www.rethink.org.....you can find many stories of how people rose above it and had great success...the world is yours for the taking.

Answer 2

Blaming your parents only works for so long, and at 29 you are really pushing the envelop on that one. Go to therapy, follow your doctor's treatment plan, and work on what to do now. Stop focusing on the past, that won't help you. Blaming your parents only give you and excuse to continue being a useless drain on society. You need to become a productive member of society. If you can't hold a job because of your illness, you can at least work as a volunteer a few hours a week. You can walk down the street with a garbage bag and clean up the trash once in a while. There is always something you can do to give back to the community that is supporting you.

I agree that you had a rough childhood. That doesn't help you as an adult, but focusing on it now will not help you either. Do you need job skills? There are job training programs that can help you. Do you need independent living skills? Your county mental health should be able to hook you up with case manager that can help you with that. Do you need to get a GED? There are GED classes all over the place (assuming you are in the US). If there are other things you need, and you live in the US, feel free to email me and I can give you suggestions on how to meet those needs.

Answer 3

Try to forgive them. Prayer is very helpful, and good for the soul, too.

Seek counceling if you need it. If you can't, just talk to the wall and pretend it's a psychiatrist. It works for me, and the best parts are it's free, my shrink will say whatever I want him too, and I will never develop a dependency on prescription drugs.

I promise, I'm not making fun. I have had my share of mental difficulties, too(alcoholism, social anxiety disorder, others).

I try to read a little of Proverbs, a little from the gospels, or I Corinthians 13: 1-13 every day. It helps me to remember to curb certain impulses, be more assertive or social when I ordinarily wouldn't but should, be nicer to people who deserve it and at least tolerant of those who may not deserve it.

I had similar problems in school to yours, but for different reasons. I can say that (Thank the Lord) most of those people do eventually grow up enough that they stop bullying others, and become tolerable, even agreeable. As for the ones who don't , well, the only thing I can say is pray for them. And maybe try to kill some of them with kindness.

The Lord can help, i hope you will turn to him. He is the only one who will always be there for you.

Answer 4

I hate to say it but you need to get over it, work through it and move on. You can't use the past as a crutch forever and even parents make mistakes.
I would advise you to get into some weekly therapy if you need help comming to grasp with the issues. But do it asap, as it sounds like all of this is holding you back from a normal healthy life.
I have been there done that. There is no sense in holding ppl responsible over something you can't change now. Do you think they are losing sleep over it? Prob not - so why are you.
I know it is a tough thing but you can do it, and we have all had to in one way or another. But I know weekly therapy helped me work through past issues tremendously!

Answer 5

By going to a professional and working through your problems you will see that you have to accept responsibility for yourself and your decisions in your adult life no matter of your past. Dealing with your past will help you to deal with yourself better in the future. Your parents are responsible for some of the things that happened to you IF they did them personally but that is long gone. If you want a relationship with them that is healthy ask them to go to counseling with you after you have become comfortable with a therapist and you both agree that is the way to go. Try to forgive your parents as they probably were doing only their best and what they thought was best for you. Plus that way you won't be always thinking of ways to resent them and you will live a happier life.

Answer 6

Your parents were responsible then, you are responsible now.
It is easier to make peace with this if you tell yourself that your parents did their best at that time period. They lacked knowledge to do differently. You will now move on & do your best to conquer this. You have the knowledge & will move forward.

Answer 7

theres nothing you can do...its all in the past the only thing that you can do that will matter now is that if you decide to have your own children learn from past experiences....good luck

Answer 8

Go and seek professional counselling to work your way through your problems.

Answer 9

I would accept that I am responsible for everything I have attracted.... I would then aspire to create something different....

Answer 10

Quit blaming anyone...get some help, and get on with life...