as a christian turned atheist i am having touble dealing with my own mortality. how can i come to terms?

Question

i cant stop thinking about death and how short life is.

i mean compared to an eternity in heaven... even 100 years is pretty short.

maybe there is some hope... maybe there is some kind of God.. but im pretty sure now that when you die thats it. and i cant stop thinking about it. ....anyone else go through this? and what did you do to deal with it.

btw, i already know the christian answer to this question and i dont want to hear it.

good and supportive answers folks.

thats a good point aobut remembering what it was like before i was born, i had never thought of it that way.

pangel.. i appreciate your passively condeming me to hell but that wasnt really a real answer was it? it was just you talking while you thought God was listening to the answer you were giving me.

im sorry i havent replied to every single person but... well im lazy.

however, Michael, i did read your answer and it was very good and thoughtful. that is along the liens of some of the things i came to realize... that its up to us to do things because there isnt a God out there to keep things in balance... its up to us. what was more apparant to me though was how precious life really was. which is strange because you would think a christian would think of life as being more precious.

there is a great deal of good and responsibility that comes with being an atheist that i was not expecting. that was a good answer you gave.

Answer 1

I'm a Pagan sort of Otter and I've found that, for myself, there's one God many Names and I beleive in the gentler side of the Divine. All souls go Home when they die. Granted, Home is different for all of us; but we all go back to God. It doesn't matter what denomination , religion, faith. You're going Home, dearheart. We'll have a good time when we get there. Blessings.

Answer 2

You're no atheist, if you're saying "maybe there is some kind of God." You're agnostic. Life is short whether you're religious or not. If you spend all your time worrying about death, you're only going to hasten your own end. Stress like that can cause premature aging and heart problems, so you need to stop right now. You need to find a hobby, or do something to keep your brain occupied. When you start thinking things that will only worry you, pick up a book, turn on the tv, whatever. I don't think about death - when it happens, it happens, and there's nothing anyone can do to prevent it or predict it. I would seriously suggest you see a therapist - behavior like this could eventually lead to agoraphobia, and shutting the world out is not going to make your life better. Accept that, like everyone else, you will die, and live life to the fullest, as though every day might be the last. I hope you can find some help - I know how it is to live with phobias. Talk to a professional.

Answer 3

The answer to this question kind of depends on whether you have absolutely given up a spiritual sense of things. Many people don't realize that there is more to life than just fundamentalist christianity and strict atheism. I want to respect your desire not to hear a Christian answer but my answer isn't exactly atheist either, so if you don't want to hear anything spiritual I guess just skip it.
I believe that when you die your consciousness returns to pure love. In other words its sort of like waking up from a dream. This life is a very small part of reality. When we pass from it, we don't lose reality, we gain it. I don't know why I believe that, I guess you could call it an instinct.
Spirituality, as opposed to religion, is believing in more than just materialism but not feeling as though you have to be controlled by somebody elses doctrine, mythology or set of rules.
I will say that you seem like a thoughtful person and that you should try not to worry too much. Life does not end, only the belief in seperation from the ultimate life that unites us all. When that belief in seperation ends, we return to the source in my opinion. I think if you look deeply into your own heart you will begin to find answers if you question with the idea that the Universe is friendly (not judgemental) and wants you to grow and learn.

Answer 4

I went through this as well.

People handle it in different ways. For some it leads to nihilism, but for others (like myself), it is a motivator to be honest and appreciative.

Shortly after I became atheist and went through the "dealing with mortality" phase, I began ritualistically telling people how I appreciated them. This is because I realized that everything you say to someone will be the last words you say to them before one of you ceases to exist, or until you say something else. That's a motivator to be very honest and appreciative. There is no afterlife where you can say "Sorry buddy, I didn't mean it when I said I hated you..." You have the responsibility to treat people the way you would want to be treated if you were on your deathbed, because essentially everyone is.

It's a big responsibility, but that's partly what atheism is about. There's no skydaddy to feed the hungry, clothe the poor, or reward the good. It's up to us to do it. So instead of focusing on the future, live in the present:

Right now, someone needs you to appreciate them, help them, or comfort them. Doing those things will show you that meaning doesn't depend on some kind of godlike immortality -- it comes from that appreciation of other beings just like you who share the same fate.

Answer 5

I prefer to think of life as energy, and energy is never destroyed, it just becomes something different. When my body is done, my energy will be absorbed back into the universe. It's not quite reincarnation, but I'm content to not know what's next. It's my next adventure. I use to be Catholic, and I don't believe in a hateful God who would send anyone to an eternity in hell. God is love, love is forgiveness. So what's the point of a hell? Hell is here on earth if you live like you own the place. Be good to yourself, be good to others. Try and make a difference in people's lives. When you are taking your last breathes, you will look back and say "hey, I did okay" and be at peace with yourself.

We're all afraid of pain (dying in a car crash, say) or that we will miss our loved ones, or they'll be sad. But death is one thing we all share, and will all go through at sometime. You know, there are studies about the after-life. And regardless of faith, whether or not they believed in a god, anyone who's "come back" from a few moments of being dead, reports "seeing a light". Who know what it is, but no one reports fire and brimstone.

Answer 6

The christian answer is guesswork and not even a good one at that.
YOU have ot accept the fact that you have come to your senses and get on with life.
Do things which mak eyuo happy. Think about a family. If you don't have one consider marriage. It's the best case for happeness.
You should maybe consider moving, changing jonbs or school. Make anew lease on liife. Above all live life to it's fullest.
I don't run around trying to force christians to accept the truth but I sure do explain the truth to them and offer them a better life though accepting that religion is false.
Churches are falling by the waside. even with new churches coming up membership is fallin every area of religion.

Answer 7

You certainly fit the definition of agnostic, not atheistic. Its a gradual process to atheism from a background in Christianity.

One has to realise that life is a cycle. If you truly become atheistic, then there is nothing to come to terms with. We become fertilizer for the earth. Thats all. Just like every other living creature on the planet. It is a process that is undeniable.

Now, you are concerned with the Xtian concept of "soul". What happens to "you" when you die. Soul is a Xtian concept that is necessary to make the whole God thing a reality to them. Without a soul, there is nothing to bring forth into a Xtian heaven. As an atheist, you don't think in terms of "soul", you think in terms of self.

Self is a form of existence that comes from your mind, and nowhere else. When you realize that, the world of being an atheist becomes very complex, musch more so than that of a Xtian.

An atheist now becomes responsible for his "Self". He is responsible for the course of his existence. What choices will be made? What actions will be taken? The atheist in wholey in charge of them.

An Xtian makes his choices based on a guidebook that shows his "soul" the way to heaven. There is no creativity, and it is very limiting. An atheist now has to realise that his choices and actions reflect onto society, and make up what is his being. There is no one else who can do that for you.

So when you are an atheist, the onus is on you to do as much good for society, and yourself, while you are here. Then you are gone, your timespan is up. Mortality has its limitation.

As an Xtian, you don't worry about mortality, and walk throught he world glassy eyed, with heaven as the goal. Take that goal away, and then you get smacked in the face with reality. That is what you are going through right now. I hope that your mind can find rest on the topic without going back to the self-deprecating delusion of Xtianity.

Answer 8

THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. I used to the all the "CHRISTIAN" things myself. Even considered myself a "BORN AGAIN". I highly recommend that you sit down in a most relaxing place and time and just meditate (NOT PRAY) And clear everything until you have asolutely no thoughts in your mind. From there continue to feed yourself with books that will enrich your mind. I know this sounds NEWAGE and kinda cheesy BUT it made a HUGE impacct in my life and made a most profound diffrence to How I see things and especially myself. People , society can hurt you a whole lot BUT when you become someone who can truly grasp life and live it to it's fullest in the most positive and genuine way . Then my friend you are on your way to realizing all potential and perhaps even who GOD really is. If you want some titles to some books that I read and impacted me, let me know anytime. TAKE CARE = )

Answer 9

As an ex-christian I have watched many family members come out of christianity. Their experiences mirror my own. There is a very intense (and happily BRIEF) period of time when we were all over-whelmed with our mortality.

We basically talked through it a lot. One website that is just fantastic is www.ex-christian.net -- great support group and website for people coming out of christianity.

I would also recommend books by Carl Sagan, either Demon Haunted World or Billions and Billions. As an atheist going to his death, the latter book is truely inspirational.

Best wishes to you. Feel free to email me if you want as well.

Answer 10

I was like you..........now I realize that life ,all life is a cycle.We are nothing but stardust and one day the earth will be stardust agian when the sun goes supernova.
The leaves grow in the spring ,mature,grow yellow ,fall to the ground and become nutrient for new life.
The Samurai were very awrae of the cycle of life ,which they observed in the cherry blossom.So beautiful and yet so ephemeral

Answer 11

I am not an atheist but my sister is going through the same thing as yourself ... and it can really eat you up if you dont get a grip on it
from an atheists point of view i would suggest focusing on how well to live this life ... live it to the fullest ... enjoy every moment
know that when you die , that you have left some wonderful memories .. a legacy of who you were
since you will not believe in an after life then there is no fear of retribution ( that's always a plus lol )
but most of all ...if this gets too bad , please speak about it to your doctor as it can lead to depression
much love to you xxx