My boyfriend of nine years finally decided to propose to me. They only reason we are not married yet, because we've been on and off for so long, but now it's official. He propose to me without the ring... Of course I said yes. Tomorrow I am supposed to meet him to receive my engagement ring.
I don't know if I'm nervous or not, but my mind changes like every day. I don't know if I want to marry him. I'm not sure if it's because we are still going through our problems, but I don't want to make the wrong decision. At the same time I don't want to lose him. I guess all I really need is some reassurance that everything will be fine. Should I put it off until those "confuse" feelings disappear, or is it normal to feel this way?
2006-11-19 10:51:42 · 13 answers · asked by Justme617 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think you know the answer already yourself... 9 yrs, a long time and I'm sure that you have both had many ups and downs, and that should be proof that this will last forever,because after all you are STILL together 9 yrs on. You have come through so much and still standing. You ask the question because its natural... its the biggest commitment you will ever make and no one can tell you what to do. Only you can decide. And as the saying goes " Time will tell" .Unless he is treating you "badly" or harming you in anyway, perhaps the time is now. And Yes, it is normal to feel this way. .... Good luck to you.
2006-11-19 11:49:59 · answer #1 · answered by MRS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, if after nine years, you are not absolutely positive that he is the ONE for you, then he just isn't. I went through the same thing as you in a past relationship and I'm telling you- what you are in is a comfort zone. It's easier to stay than leave because you don't know what your life is without him.
I was lucky, got out, and realized I was happier being my own person. Of course it's hard at first, but if I hadn't, I owuldn't have found the man I am marrying who I can't wait to marry and have never doubted for a second that he is my only match. You deserve that feeling of utter bliss, too.
2006-11-19 23:41:27 · answer #2 · answered by andrea12481 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be nerves, but did you ever wonder why it took NINE YEARS to decide it was time to get married? Number one thing to remember is that just because you now have a ring doesn't mean everything will be perfect. Every relationship has it's up and downs but if you are breaking up and getting back together every few months remember that a divorce is a lot more expensive than a break up and he's also legally entitled to half your stuff.
2006-11-19 19:02:31 · answer #3 · answered by FlyChicc420 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you still feel passion? "normally" passion goes away after some time, could it be that you are afraid of marrying him will make you feel imprisoned for the rest of your life? Is there something in your relationship that you really miss or/and feel is not right? Have you any unsolved problems that is in the back of your head...? Then DON´T marry him. By the way-why marry? Does it make you or him feel safer in any way? Safer about what? Hmmm....this relationship does not seem to be the best for marriage....
2006-11-19 19:02:43 · answer #4 · answered by ullis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it if you are still working through problems! Marriage doesn't solve problems. Marriage has it's own set of problems. Hang in there and work through it! Marriage is full of compromise. If the two of you are not willing to find middle ground before you get married, you won't find it after.
Good luck!
2006-11-19 18:58:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
these feelings won't disappear .. you need to listen to them ....you've been together for so long and of course it wasn't always good but you need to look into your heart and see if this is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with ... you really need to know for sure before you say yes.
2006-11-19 20:29:22 · answer #6 · answered by emnari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yay! congrats! i've been engaged to my fiance for about 6 months now&trust me, i posted the same question as you! i was feeling the same way as you...but now, after couple months, im so glad i stayed with him. you are just REALLY nervous. its the begining of your new life! its okay, calm down.
2006-11-19 18:57:17 · answer #7 · answered by bonnie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should get married cos his your boyfriend for nine years!That shows his true feelings for you.
2006-11-19 18:55:59 · answer #8 · answered by Eunice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you just have cold feet talk to your fiancea about your feelings and see if he's feeling the same way every one has problems though so don't worry even the perfect relationship has problems, yours turley michelle
2006-11-19 21:53:54 · answer #9 · answered by michelle b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just make it a long engagment untill all those unresolved feelings clear out. good luck to you.
2006-11-20 11:15:35 · answer #10 · answered by me2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋