Hi there! Martin is definitely getting bored of me. i left all my family and friends to be with him in leeds. I lost both my parents when i was 16 due to cancer, i'm 24 now. He doesn't like me talking about my past (bullied at school)and family. We both enjoy sex, but he is only affectionate when he wants it. He watches alot of porn and emails a girl he went to school with. Now he wants a threesome, i'm not ready. He has already told me that i'm boring and pathtic He hardly taliks to me as he is either working or on the porn sites. I'm currently looking for a job in nursing. Is he just using me? I am depressed and upset. I find it hard to have fun. Wouldn't you if you had to deal with all my problems. would you be fed of me talking about the past?
2006-11-19 10:34:03 · 26 answers · asked by tessie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Id walk and find someone with a little more respect.
2006-11-19 10:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by Kyral 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You deserve to be treated with respect, love, and kindness, you are a special and wonderful person and deserve to be treated as such. You are still just getting started on your life, and you want to have a man who will help you on your journey, not bring you down. Pornography is disrespectful and degrading to women, you don't need a guy who would exhibit such a flagrant and obtrusive offence agaiinst women, All women deserve to be cherished and loved for who they are. If he is on porn sites, and is trying to get you in a threesome, you need to take a step back and look at what he is really doing, he is just trying to live out one of his sick little fantasies. Find someone who will love you and only you. You are an amazing person and should have a guy that feels the same way. You are all a man could ever need, and if he wants more, then you shouldn't stay because he isn't the kind of person that you want to devote yourself to. I am a junior in high school, and I know that, so get someone who will treat you right, like you deserve.
Savage
2006-11-19 10:44:04 · answer #2 · answered by savage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, well first of all, its okay to remember the past sometimes, but not to much. You should try to move on and look toward the future. Theres no way you'll change the past but the future is there to be changed. Second, I doubt that you're depressed, you just need to spice up your life. If you're haveing second thoughts about this Martin guy thatn ditch him. There will always be someone better out there for you, you just have to look a little. Don't let him take advantage of you. Whether he is or isnt im not sure, but he could very well be using you as entertainment. Go out and meet some new guys, it'll be fun, and maybe you'll find your one true love.
Hope it all works out
2006-11-19 10:40:48 · answer #3 · answered by as 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are so brave that you are able to talk about your past so openly and admit that it wasn't the best. Alot of people tend to hide away from it and hope that it hasn't effected them longterm.
With regards to your current partner I also commend you for giving up your life to be with him and it's obviously not as great as you thought it would be. I think that maybe your past has had an effect on your self esteem and the way you feel about yourself. If your parner was supportive and commited he would want to talk to you for hours about what was bugging you and he would do everything in his power to put it right, even if it was just a cuddle and a kiss you needed.
With regards to emailing his old school friend I don't see a problem with it, however the 3 sum I do find and issue, whatever you and your partner choose to do sexually is your business however if it is inflicting on your confidence and your sexual desires then it is wrong for him to expect you to just agree.
I think that your a wonderful person (and looking at a career in nursing) you clearly have a caring side that is not appriciated in your current relationship.
I think you need to sit down with your partner and explain what has/and is hurting you and make him see that at the moment you are very low and need as much support as possible. Tell him about your concerns for the porn he watches and ask why he needs that and not you. If you are still faced with the same day to day feelings then I am afraid to say you need to leave.
You need to be 100% happy cos you only get one chance at life, and if that means being on your own for a while until you find mr right, so be it. You can concentrate on your career and build you life back up without him.
Maybe go to a local club or singles bar to meet people.
I hope you have every sucess in what you want to achieve and if you need to have a little web chat then feel free to drop me a line
Best Wishes x
2006-11-19 10:44:17 · answer #4 · answered by SARA H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing, I really feel for you.
You obviously once really loved this guy if you moved away to be with him, so it must be heartbreaking for you to have him treat you so badly. But hard as it may be to accept, he doesn't give you what you deserve, and there are tons of guys out there who will treat you with love and kindness and will listen to you with a caring heart. It sounds like you've had a tough life, which may have left you insecure. If this is the case, then you mightn't realise that if you leave martin you can get someone better than him. But you can, he's not a good guy.
You should leave him and go back to your friends and family. They'll be there to support you and be there for you. I'm not saying it'll be easy but you'll be so much happier in the long run.
2006-11-19 10:42:24 · answer #5 · answered by Ally 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you see future in this relationship ? I don't.
Can you picture yourself in a "relationship" which everyday the guy is saying you are not "good" ? I can not.
Did he show appreciation when he does not need sex ?
You are only 24. What if you are 34 ? 44 ? Still with this guy ?
Sexually he is "bored" with you. Emotionally, you sound like he is not supporting and appreciative of you.
Don't look at what is past and present, look into the future. Do you see happiness with him ? I am not talking about dreaming though.
Why do you want to stay with him, when you are still young ? You have to answer that to yourself.
2006-11-19 10:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
O.M.G. you poor love he sounds like a right idiot.....
How dare he say your boring cause your not into the same kinky things he is.....
Has no-one ever told him that porn films is just acting and its not like that in real life?? ask him why he doesn't turn you on as much as those girls on the net seem to be and why isnt his pe nis as big as those guys????? the bloody div
I would like to say kick him to the kerb, but obviously to leave you need to plan first to make sure you are ok.....honey you get one life don't waste yours, you can do any thing u want to do, u choose your paths....
Good luck and I hope you find happiness cause this is not it xxxxxx
2006-11-19 10:41:04 · answer #7 · answered by xXx Orange Breezer xXx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good grief! Dump this loser. You are trying to make something of yourself! For goodness sake,porn & he wants a threesome???
RUN. Somehow I do not think this is the future your parents wanted for their darling daughter. Walk out with head held high!!
But WALK. He does not respect you or himself-you don't need this.Don't even look back,sweetie. You deserve far better!
2006-11-19 10:39:47 · answer #8 · answered by life coach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mk. if this guy really liked you, i dont think he'd be telling you you're boring and pathetic..do you? in my opinion, he is just using you, and if you keep giving in to him, he'll probably end up abusing you as well, and nobody would want that to happen.i know wouldn't wish that upon you, and we don't even know each other. tell him you want a break, and see what he does during that break, and notice how much happier you feel. that is all the advice i can give you, but i hope it helps.
2006-11-19 10:38:47 · answer #9 · answered by ashley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you do find it hard to have fun with this fool. He is using you ...and probably anyone else he can hook up with. You're not ready for a threesome?? I hope you never get ready. Why don't you get out NOW so you can start to build a real life for yourself? You're not going to find it with this dude.
2006-11-19 10:37:35 · answer #10 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You only talk about the past for as long as you need to, to be able to deal with it yourself.... He should understand that.
I'm sorry to hear about your past, but only you can make your future better. If you are strong enough to survive so far, you are strong enough to turn your life around and find yourself a better future- with someone who accepts EVERYTHING about you.
Be strong and tell him where to go, you deserve more.
Good luck x
2006-11-19 10:39:22 · answer #11 · answered by Coley 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋