annoyed but feel guilty?

Question

I am upset at an incident in our local supermarket, i took my disabled son in on a shopping trip, he has shouting outbursts (not swearing) and gets upset by strangers, anyway he had one on this particular day and pulled his coat zip up too high, a shelf stacker came running over and made a big scene, literally accused me of doing someting to him, which upset me and my other kids, i left the shop not saying much at all as not to upset the kids further but went back when they were in school and had a real go at this woman she got very upset, which i wasnt expecting and instead of feeling better about it i feel awful, like a bully. needless to say i havent dared go back in, was i right in what i did?

i would like to add that i didnt go in screaming and shouting, i was calm but very annoyed

Answer 1

I think you did the right thing, if nothing else she'll think twice next time. Personally I carry around a little card for nosey prats who don't understand but are quite happy to make a rash judgement.
It saves me having to come back later :P

Answer 2

I hate busy bodies, people that come up to you in the street because your child is screaming, expecting you to have a magic wand to make it stop! The supermarket is the worst because whilst hearing a child screaming isn't nice for anyone other shoppers give out the dirtiest looks & it bugs the hell out of me! That woman had no right accusing you of anything & good on you for going back & confronting her! What you should have done though was talk to her manager & asked for an apology from that lady! Although that may sound easy I probably would've told her to mind her own there & then!

Don't feel bad, you did nothing wrong, it should be her that feels bad!

Answer 3

I'd say you had a right to go back and say something! Do you think you went too far! I dont it might actually make her THINK!!!
My mum was disabled and as a care-worker I've taken a lot of disabled out! I remember having a real go at a guy who took the last wheelchair bay and wasn't disabled himself. Normally I'd have been polite! But about 3 other things had happened earlier! He moved his car quick enough though! He looked pretty sheepish rather than upset cos he was 6ft macho man and I'm under 5ft and we had quite an audience.
Did I feel quilty - No! Nor should you.!!!

Answer 4

ok before everything, no person is a desirable determine simply by fact there is not any such ingredient, so there is relatively no element in living on all the failings which you do "incorrect". 2nd, getting offended at your toddlers for being disobediant isn't a criminal offense, fantastically when you have worked all day, ran after a newborn all afternoon and are drained. As for working off after her tub, close the bathing room door on a similar time as you bathe her. And while she is going to start working around, grab her and gown her. it relatively is alright to make her behave...I promise you that's! and you probably did not relatively say something undesirable to her. If she will understand you once you check together with her, then she knew she exchange into meant to be getting dressed, and he or she's fortunate she did not get punished. Which, by utilising the way, you ought to completely do next time she disobeys. quite some mothers warfare with thoughts like this. yet have confidence me...it relatively is not needed. you do not ought to consistently be a superbly extreme-high quality Stepford mom...you do could desire to enable them to be attentive to who's boss in the different case they're going to stomp throughout you while they're older.

Answer 5

I can definitly understand why you got upset and all that, but I think you should have talked to the lady when you were calmed down. She didnt do anything wrong. The thing that is wrong today is that people are too scared to speak up. I rather have a woman come tell me that i was doing something to my child then for her not to do something. In the future there could be a case where a parent is really doing something and noone speaks up.

Answer 6

you have every right to be annoyed! She shouldn't have put her nose in where it didn't belong!
If I was in that position i would have taken the person aside and told them to stop being nosey UNLESS they had seen something, in this case they obviously did not.
I think what you did by waiting until the kids were in school was a good idea and the fact that you were calm is very good too. I can honestly say that if that happened to me I'd have went through the roof.
don't feel guilty it's not your fault and don't feel you can't shop there anymore as she should now know not to be so ignorant and nosey good luck.

Answer 7

obviously, you were emotional, and upset which is why you acted the way you did, but truth be told, it wasn't exactly the best way to act. Im not judging you, but im just thinking, that your probably feeling awful about it now, and so would i if i'd done the same. Perhaps you could go back and apologise? I know it's a difficult thing to do, but you'd probably feel a whole lot better afterwards, otherwise you'll always remember it, and the guilt and regret will always hurt you. Trust me, i know.

Answer 8

This woman had no right to say to you what she did, and she needed to be put in her place. The vibe I get is that she's just the kind of person who likes to interfere. She clearly knew nothing about the situation and just wanted to be a hero. She was completely in the wrong and you were absolutely right to confront her. While you may have lost your cool, you did a very honourable thing going straight to her about it and not anyone superior to her in the store. That would have gotten her in a lot more trouble.

Answer 9

Your feelings will usually tell you the truth. If you feel like a bully, you were. Simply explaining the situation would have gotten you an apology from the woman, likely a very sincere one. Knowing that "having a go at her" didn't make you feel any better may slow down that reaction from you in the future. We hope.

Answer 10

good for you! you should stand up for yourself. and you didn't do it in front of your kids so don't feel guilty! a bully would have started a shouting match right then and there. you simply let her know how annoyed you were, after she caused a huge scene in front of your kids. she won't do it again and should feel bad. people are way too fast accusing parents these days. and since everybody has a different opinion, you'll always have somebody complaining anyway. don't feel bad!