He doesn't want anything to do with them. Every year we go there and it's a mess. All they do is fight with each other. My kids refuse to go with us anymore and my husband has decided that we should all just skip it and avoid the drama. My husband is the only normal one in the bunch (seriously), his family is full of domestic abusers, drug addicts, most of them are on welfare, the women have baby after baby with different men and then let the kids run wild, and they are just generally MESSED UP. I honestly don't know how my husband turned out normal, but he is amazing, and I am afraid that someday he will regret cutting off ties with them. I do get really tired of them screwing up their lives and then coming to us for money or whatever else they need...but still...they are his family....what would you do? (My husband loves my side of the family and fits in with them perfectly...it's just his that he no longer wants anything to do with.)
2006-11-19 10:14:33 · 23 answers · asked by redhairedgirl 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My guy's family is messed up too. We tried to be nice but we found them to be a bunch of users, they drink and we don't do that stuff either. It's very tiring to try to be nice and deal with that garbage.
You and your husband have a family its called your kids! Have one at home with just them this year and enjoy yourself! If you need to stop by your family do it next year. Tell them your all burnt out this year. You sound like you are!!
Trust me a family like his aren't family they are bunch of losers.
2006-11-19 10:21:07 · answer #1 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly okay to avoid such a dysfunctional mess! Plus it's not a good environment for holiday spirit, let alone kids. He will not regret it later. Be thankful that he realizes what they're like and no longer wishes to be a part of them. Be with your family for the holidays, or spend them in your own home with your own family...there is no rule about being obligated to go anywhere that makes everyone miserable
2006-11-19 10:19:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can I say this but to avoid his family. Why go through another year of fighting and drama when the holidays are supposed to be enjoyed? You and your husband are a family what is wrong with just enjoying spending the time with just you and your kids? I think its time to allow him time to let them know he isn't going to tolerate them any longer and not make any appearances this year at any of his families functions.
2006-11-19 10:24:45 · answer #3 · answered by groundpilot43061 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please do not stop you husband rather support him by starting a new holiday tradition where you and you family do or go some where there is a bunch of wonderful memories can be built rather than the grudge match that you have witnessed for the pas several years, You husband deserves better memories than what they are offering, Bless You
2006-11-19 10:20:42 · answer #4 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your husbands family and if he does not want to see them do not force him to. Your children do not like these people. You do not like these people and most importantly your husband does not like these people. Go spend the holidays with your family where everyone will have a good time and be comfortable. You cannot force your husband to care and you cannot force his family to be normal. Abandon your efforts to keep this abnormal family together.
2006-11-19 11:07:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a grown-up with a family of your own. If your husbands family is so messed why in the world do you care if there's "trouble"?
Some families are toxic and you'll bring that poison into your home.....your husband has the right idea you should listen to him.
2006-11-19 10:40:31 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Holidays are too special to spend them with people you can't stand. Either stay home or spend time with YOUR folks instead.
My husband's sister caused prob lams for him a few years back so he cut her off. It felt so good to be cut off from the fighting and insults. Last spring, she called to patch things up. They are on friendly terms again but this time she knows that if she wants to be manipulative, she will be cut off again, and maybe this time for good.
Family or no, nobody has the right to destroy your peace.
2006-11-19 10:20:39 · answer #7 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing that obligates y'all to be with his family. My family was a mess and I stayed away from any contact at all for 15 years. I have a brother won't even answer letters and a sister that nobody can find.
2006-11-19 10:20:06 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion i think they have as much of a right to be there as ur family cuz it is his baby too. i can understand how you dont like them cuz they are bitches.. but the baby shower is for the baby, not just you. sorry i dont want to be mean im just giving my opinion. is there any way you can just invite a select few? maybe just tell them you are limited on space and only invite the mom and the aunt or something. i am only inviting my husbands mom, stepmom, and grandma. even though the aunts and cousins wanted to come, i just told them i was limited on space (which is not a lie). good luck!
2016-05-22 04:45:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to be with his family then respect his choice. Maybe after a period of time he might choose to subject himself to the chaos again. Maybe he just needs a break from them for awhile. People can take only so much at a time.
2006-11-19 10:31:40 · answer #10 · answered by cybefree 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋