She thinks that I am going to Hell because i do not stay in my race. I'm sorry, but if i am attracted to you, I will date you, regardless of your color. She told me the other day that she was going to find every reason she could to stop me from dating black men. I have 2 mixed kids, for goodness sake!! The thing is that I have to live with her. for financial reasons I canot move out on my own. How can i make her see that there are good and bad in every race?? I mean, I've already had a white boyfriend that cheated on me, and I don't know why that didn't convince her. Any ideas??
2006-11-19 10:10:15 · 11 answers · asked by trisha_r_c 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
lookilu, you need to grow up. my kids mean the world to me and that is why i live with my parents....their father beat me and i didn
t want them in that, so i am just doing what is best for my kids right now. i just want to know how to get her to see my point of view since she pushes hers down my throat.
2006-11-20 03:27:45 · update #1
Moms have their own ways. You have to make your own happiness in life. You do not mention your age. Cross cultural dating is difficult lots of times and no due to race. If you have a nice boyfriend of color then try to get her to meet him and show her he respects you and wants to be kind to you and to her
2006-11-19 10:13:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to be rude but just to help you see your mother's point. You have 2 children and have to live with your mother for financial reasons. Where is the babee daddies. Two. Then you have boyfriends - where is the husband with whom you have had two (2) children. Are you seeing something here. You have a bad track record with men. If they are good then where are they. Your mother has to pay to support these good men's babees. I think maybe it has become time for Maury Povich and a little support other than your mother. If you lived with me for financial reasons and I was your mother it would be NO men or to child services for the kids and the curb for you. Sorry for sounding mean as that is not the point. I know that you and your children are good. It is just that you have to see your mother's point. No more men and no more sex until the men are willing to pay for it with a wedding band. No exceptions. You are worth at least that.
2006-11-19 10:21:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fisrt off, all men cheat. Second of all, I am sorry but there is probably no way to change her views. People, especially the older generation, are so set in their ways, that nothing else matters except their views. To try and preach to her to change would be like telling an athiest that there is a God. It just won't work. She is, however, going to have to agree to disagree. Even if she doesn't want you to date other races, she is going to have to come to terms with it. You need to sit down and talk with her, and ask her to agree to disagree with you. And you need to do the same. You shouldn't want to change her ways of thinking, Just disagree with her and go on.
2006-11-19 10:16:06 · answer #3 · answered by Brittany W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why aren't you still with the black men you dated that got you pregnant? did they cheat on you as well? you have to take the stance of being totally ignorant of skin color if you want to get your mom to see your point. why aren't you with the father(s) of your children at this time? don't be so judgmental of your mom when you're being exactly the same way, only polarized (or opposite) to her views, and as unwilling to see her point in the argument? don't condemn a whole race of white men just because the few you dated have cheated on you. also, don't condemn a whole race of black men if they've cheated on you as well, or because they've remained "true" to you either. each person is unique, regardless of skin color. don't just blow off a white man because he's white. don't just blow off a black man because he's black either. explain to your mom that she needs to do the same. give each person a fair chance to come into your lives regardless of skin color and you'll be on the right path. hope this helped you!!
2006-11-19 10:17:00 · answer #4 · answered by vrandolph62 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is that you cannot make your momma see anything including dating 'your way'. Your momma is using her previous experience to guide you in your life. Right or wrong she is showing you how she cares by telling you what she thinks is best. I suspect that your mother is actually telling you she does not think that you should be dating at this time, but is communicating it as you should not date this man or that man. Try focusing on your family and your children and the rest will come. I promise!
2006-11-19 10:16:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if she thinks you are going to hell for it then ask her to show you in the Bible where it says that and you will stop dating outside of your race forever. The Bible does not say it is wrong so therefore you would not go to hell for it.
2006-11-19 10:13:28 · answer #6 · answered by cubsfan625022 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your mama doesn`t want to have to be responsible for taking care of any more of the children that you seem to be having. I can`t say as I blame her. For Goodness Sake!!! You are right, there are worthless people in any race.
2006-11-19 10:12:47 · answer #7 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't make her see things from your point of view anymore than she can make you see things from hers. Follow your own advice here and just be understanding of the differences between you.
2006-11-19 10:12:38 · answer #8 · answered by Medic123456789 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would say; move in with your black friend and she will see how well he take care of you. Maybe then she see he a good man for you in time.
2006-11-19 10:15:02 · answer #9 · answered by Snaglefritz 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
go to counseling and talk about it with her with a 3rd party involved to make her listen and understand you
2006-11-19 10:11:52 · answer #10 · answered by Kate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋